Klexting
by It'sNotUnusual
Summary: Text conversations between Kurt and Blaine. Supposed to be funny, hopefully it comes off that way. :/ Enjoy!
1. Zyzzyva

A/N: So, if you've read my profile, you'll see that I'm a big Klaine shipper. And I've just realised now that I haven't actually written a Klaine story.

**You have no idea how catastrophic this is. **

**So I'm changing it RIGHT NOW. Intended to be funny, little text conversations between Kurt and Blaine. **

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN GLEE (****) or Kurt (****) or Blaine (****). **

Kurt: _What are you doing?_

Blaine: _Zyzzyva._

Kurt: _What's a zyzzyva?_

Blaine: _Don't you know what a zyzzyva is? :O_

Kurt: _No… should I?_

Blaine: _But of course. _

Kurt: _Fine. What is a zyzzyva? _

Blaine: _…_

Kurt: _What are you doing? _

Blaine: _…_

Kurt: _Why are you texting me lots of triple dots? _

Blaine: _Because you didn't ask. _

Kurt: _Yes, I did! I specifically asked, 'what is a zyzzyva'? _

Blaine: _You didn't ask properly. _

Kurt: _Great. Blaine, I'll love you forever if you tell me what a zyzzyva is. _

Blaine: _Already been there. You said that if I told you what a hogget was. _

Kurt: _No I didn't!_

Blaine: _Yeah, you did. _

Kurt: _Oh damn, I did as well. _

Blaine: _Ha. Anyway, we're going out. You already love me forever. _

Kurt: _Touché. _

Blaine: _Are you _sure _you don't want to know what a zyzzyva is? _

Kurt: _Very. _

Blaine: _You know you do, really. _

Kurt: _Ummm… _

Blaine: _ZYZZYVA. _

Kurt: _The use of capitals doesn't change the situation. _

Blaine: _. _

Kurt: _Not changing. _

Blaine: _. _

Blaine: _. _

Blaine: _. _

Blaine: _. _

Blaine: _. _

Kurt: _Please stop spamming my texts. _

Blaine: _Why should I?_

Kurt: _You're not going to stop until I ask, are you?_

Blaine: _That's for my knowledge only. _

Kurt: _You're so infuriating sometimes. _

Blaine: _And that's why you love me. _

Kurt: _Fine. Blaine. Please tell me what a zyzzyva is. _

Blaine: _There we go. A zyzzyva is a tropical American weevil. _

Kurt: _That was not worth this conversation. _

Blaine: _Oh, but it was. _

Kurt: _No. It is only trumped by tamaraw which I spent about $3 on texts to find out and it turned out to be a water buffalo. _

Blaine: _That was hilarious. _

Kurt: _Where do you actually learn all of these useless names?_

Blaine: _Biology._

Kurt: _My Biology classes were never that weird. _

Blaine: _Yes, but you're a sophomore and I'm a junior. _

Kurt: _You're saying that we do the boring stuff in sophomore year then the pointless stuff in junior. _

Blaine: _Yeah. _

Kurt: _This is a colossal waste of my money. _

Blaine: _That you could be spending on clothes?_

Kurt: _No! _

Blaine: _Sure. _

Kurt: _Maybe. _

Blaine: _If you say so. _

Kurt: _Fine, yes, I could be spending it on clothes. _

Blaine: _But surely talking to your boyfriend is more fulfilling? _

Kurt: _Not when he's talking about zyzzyva. What's the plural of that? Zyzzyvas? Zyzzyvae? _

Blaine: _Honestly, Kurt. It's zyzzyve. _

Kurt: _Now you're just being silly. _

Blaine: _Yes I am. _

Kurt: _I'll see you at the weekend, Blaine. GOODNIGHT. _

**A/N: Well? Should I continue their little texting conversation? Or just leave it as a one-shot? ****Reviews very VERY welcome. **


	2. Calculus

A/N: Thank you, all, for the reviews! It really does make my fingers move a tad faster, as this quick update proves. :)

I'm also completely open to prompts & suggestions. So if you have any, please include them in your review, and you'll also get a mention. Win-win for all.

Right, that's enough of my rambling. Onto the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. NOPE.

Kurt: _Save me. Save me now. _

Blaine: _Why? _

Kurt: _It's 3:30. _

Blaine: _Yes… well done…_

Kurt: _You're missing the point. _

Blaine: _You haven't made on. _

Kurt: _3:30. Berry Hissy Fit Time. BHFT. _

Blaine: _You have a BHFT? _

Kurt: _It was only Finn's horror. But then they broke up. So now it's just my horror. _

Blaine: _Just yours? _

Kurt: _Apparently I'm a good person to rant to. And everyone sees it coming. They run a mile away. Leaving me to deal with her. Cos they're lovely people. _

Blaine: _Not all the time. You can be a right bitch when you want to be. _

Kurt: _Yes. Oh God, one second. _

Blaine: _You still alive? _

Blaine: _Kurt? _

Blaine: _Hello? _

Blaine: _Has she bitten your head off? _

Blaine: _Should I start arranging your funeral? _

Kurt: _Yes, hi, hi, yes, not yet. _

Blaine: _Oh, good. What happened? _

Kurt: _She shouted. I didn't listen. She sent me to Coventry. Again. They (the ND cowards) returned. _

Blaine: _Aaaah. _

Kurt: _How's Biology going? _

Blaine: _Zyzzyva. _

Kurt: _Stop. _

Blaine: _Hogget. _

Kurt: _I don't care. _

Blaine: _You do. _

Kurt: _ I really don't. _

Blaine: _Dottie. _

Kurt: _No. _

Blaine: _Emmet. _

Kurt: _Not listening. _

Blaine: _Kereru. _

Kurt: _I really don't care. _

Blaine: _Yes, you do. PERCHERON. _

Kurt: _Oh, my God. This is worse than BHFT. _

Blaine: _The burn is tremendous(!)_

Kurt: _Oi. I dislike having the Sarcasm King title ripped from my hands. _

Blaine: _Do you? _

Kurt: _Yes. _

Blaine: _Then I promise to never rip your title from your hands again. _

Kurt: _Yay. _

Blaine: _Ouzel. _

Kurt: _Please, stop. _

Blaine: _Why should I? _

Kurt: _I'm trying to do Calculus. _

Blaine: _What question are you on? _

Kurt: _5. _

Kurt: _Out of 15, before you ask. _

Blaine: _Here are the remaining answers. 5, 7, 12.5, 0, 2/0.5, reciprocal, 74, 1, 876543, because Paul earns a higher ratio. _

Kurt: _What was _that_? Paul definitely does not earn a higher ratio. _

Blaine: _I'm providing you with Calculus answers! _

Kurt: _Dare I ask why?_

Blaine: _So you finish quicker. _

Kurt: _I'm not coming up to Dalton_.

Blaine: _Aww, please? _

Kurt: _No. _

Blaine: _Your Calculus is easy, though. _And _I just gave you all the answers! _

Kurt: _You should be learning Biology. PAUL IS NOT IN MY CALCULUS TEXTBOOK! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO PAUL IS! _

Blaine: _I've finished Biology. _

Kurt: _You've finished annoying me with your weird animal names, that is true. _

Blaine: _Exactly! That's all I have to learn! _

Kurt: _Uh-oh. Berry calling. Another BHFT, I think. _

Blaine: _Oh how I'd love to be you. _

Kurt: _OI! Remember the Sarcasm King title here, Blaine Mark Anderson? _

Blaine: _Remembered and in my hands at Dalton. If you want it back you're going to have to come up and get it. _

Kurt: _Nope. _

Blaine: _You know you want to, really. _

Kurt: _Nope. _

Blaine: _Spoilsport. _

Kurt: _I'm going now. See you at the weekend. K xx _

Blaine: _Can't wait. Night. xx _

A/N: There, done. Don't think this is as good as the last one, personally. Please review, and also if you have ideas/suggestions/prompts please _please_ put them in your reviews.

Have a good day! :)


	3. Theft

**A/N: Hey. Thank you all (again) for the lovely reviews! **

**Before I start, I'd just like to start a Blaine Dictionary. These are all the names he sends to Kurt which mean absolutely nothing to Kurt, but are actually real animal names. **

**So: **

**Zyzzyva- already covered, tropical American weevil**

**Hogget- one year old sheep/colt**

**Dottie- not an animal. Just felt like having him send that. **

**Emmet- ant**

**Kereru- New Zealand pigeon**

**Percheron- dappled cart horse**

**Ouzel- blackbird **

**And yes, these are all real names. **

**By the way, this is a zyzzyva. Not the most attractive creature, I think you'll agree. :) **./2361/2478230533_

**Anyway. I have used the In The Loft's suggestions for this chapter. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Not Kurt or Blaine or the Warblers or Glee. :( **

Blaine: _You up? _

Kurt: _I wasn't. Now I am. _

Blaine: _Oh, God, I'm sorry!_

Kurt: _It's fine, my alarm goes off in ten minutes anyway. 2 hour moisturising routine. _

Blaine: _It's really not necessary, Kurt, you look beautiful as you are. _

Kurt: _Thank you, but it really is necessary. You never know what you could be subjecting yourself to until later on. _

Blaine: _Fine, fine, it is necessary. _

Kurt: _Good. Blaine?_

Blaine: _Yeah?_

Kurt: _Please stop sending me weird animal names. _

Blaine: _Don't you want to know what they mean?_

Kurt: _No, but yes at the same time. Oh just tell me. _

Blaine: _Emmet is an ant. _

Kurt: _WHAT? _

Blaine: _Want me to continue? _

Kurt: _You got me annoyed… over an _ant_? _

Blaine: _It's a special type of ant. _

Kurt: _It's an _ant_, Blaine. _

Blaine: _Ants are important!_

Kurt: _Can we stop talking about ants now?_

Blaine: _Fine by me. You're the one who started talking about ants, if you remember. _

Kurt: _Ant conversation really not necessary. _

Blaine: _If you're sure. _

Kurt: _I'm sure. _

Blaine: _OK then. _

Kurt: _Good. Now, why'd you text me? _

Blaine: _Cos I'm bored. _

Kurt: _You do realise I have this need to respond to texts, and so by being bored you are bankrupting me. _

Blaine: _You could just get an unlimited plan. _

Kurt: _Yes, but they're expensive! _

Blaine: _You transferred to _Dalton_, Kurt. The bills here aren't exactly cheap. _

Kurt: _That was a sacrifice, though! That was because I was being bullied! To pay that much just for me to talk to my boyfriend seems a little excessive. _

Blaine: _You do have a point. _

Kurt: _Thank you. Now go and do something useful with your life. _

Blaine: _I am. _

Kurt: _Talking to me isn't useful, Blaine. _

Blaine: _Au contraire, I rather think it is. _

Kurt: _It's not. Is it helping you get qualifications for a job? No. Now I really think you should go do some homework or something. _

Blaine: _Spoilsport. _

Kurt: _Always. ;) _

Blaine: _Fine, I'll go do some… _work.

Kurt: _Good. Talk to you soon. _

Blaine: _Hey Kurt, it's Blaine here. _

Kurt: _Yes, I know… aren't you meant to be studying? _

Blaine: _Nope, free period. _

Kurt: _Didn't you just have a free period…? _

Blaine: _Double… free period…_

Kurt: _You feeling alright? _

Blaine: _Oh, yes! Absolutely. I just wanted to tell you… I LUUUUUUUUUURVE you, Kurtie. _

Kurt: _Blaine. I really think you should go have a lie down or something… _

Blaine: _Oh, my God, Kurt, I'm so sorry. That was Wes and David, who somehow managed to steal my phone. _

Kurt: _Do you actually have a free period? _

Blaine: _Yeah, actually a Warblers off-timetable rehearsal._

Kurt: _Shouldn't you be… practising? _

Blaine: _Nope. _

Kurt: _Why not?_

Blaine: _If Wes and David find the time during practice- when they're the panel and are meant to be overseeing everything- then I can find time to text my gorgeous boyfriend. _

Kurt: _But if they see you texting… _

Blaine: _Yes, I know, they'll steal the phone again. Just be on your guard. If it's immature, it's them. _

Kurt: _OK. _

Blaine: _Had… a lotta… alcopops today… and think I'll… drive up… _

Kurt: _WES GIVE BLAINE HIS PHONE BACK_

Blaine: _Aww you're no fun when he tells you. _

Kurt: _It's in the job description, Wes. _Boyfriend_. _

Blaine: _You're very preeetttty… purty…. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEY. _

Kurt: _Wes, I didn't say give David Blaine's phone. I said- do I really have to spell it out for you? _

Blaine: _Yep! :D _

Kurt: _Could you get any more immature? I told you to give BLAINE BLAINE'S phone back. NOW. Before you invoke the wrath of the boyfriend. _

Blaine: _Hey. Me again. As in, Blaine Mark Anderson, not Wesley or David. _

Kurt: _Thank you. _

Blaine: _They didn't… _

Kurt: _Yeah, they did. _

Blaine: _Did you mean it, about the wrath? _

Kurt: _I might've. _

Blaine: _Awww, c'mon Kurt. _

Kurt: _I don't know if they're gonna steal your phone again! I'm not saying anything that gives them the advantage. _

Blaine: _They won't. Of course they won't. Cos I trust them. Wes and David are the two friendliest people you will ever meet, and they deserve all my love and should not be victimised by your cruel, cruel words, Kurt Hummel. Shame on you, Kurt Hummel, _shame on you.

Kurt: _WESLEY DAVID IF YOU DO NOT GIVE BLAINE HIS PHONE RIGHT NOW I SHALL DO SOMETHING VERY BITCHY WHICH I WILL PROBABLY REGRET. _

Blaine: _That worked. Thanks. OK, we really are practising now, so I'll talk to you soon. xx_

A/N: Well? Also, can everyone please pay attention to this: it is EXTREMELY annoying when you add my story to your alerts (thanks!) but don't review. It doesn't help me write better stories and so improve this fanfic. So if you're gonna alert, could you please write even a one sentence review? They really make my day, every single one of them. Thanks!

And remember, I love suggestions also. It keeps it fresh as it's what _you _want to read, not just what I want to write. And suggestions flow from me better as well. :D


	4. Insomnia

**A/N: Hello, G-B-C here again. Obviously. Sorry. **

**OK, so I heard **_**Somewhere Only We Know**_** in my head as I woke up today, which I adore. And think is so cute. Anyway. **

**This one is from gleek101Obsessed. Enjoy :) **

**Disclaimer: Still nothing is mine. If only, if only… ;) **

Kurt: _Can't sleep, Blaine. _

Kurt: _Blaine. _

Kurt: _Blainey. _

Kurt: _I'm an insomniac. _

Kurt: _BLAINE. _

Kurt: _Please text me. _

Kurt: _BLAINE_.

Kurt: _Bla a a a a a a a a a ine. _

Kurt: _Blainey. _

Kurt: _I don't like insomnia. _

Kurt: _ANDERSON. _

Kurt: _Blaine. _

Kurt: _Blaine Mark Anderson. _

Kurt: _Can't sleep. _

Blaine: _If you're quite done spamming all my texts. _

Kurt: _Hi!_

Blaine: _It's 2 in the morning. I could be asleep. I _should _be asleep. _

Kurt: _Why aren't you? _

Blaine: _Because my phone kept dinging. Do you know why my phone kept dinging, Kurt? Because you kept spamming it. _

Kurt: _But I was bored. And an insomniac. _

Blaine: _Kurt, you are not an insomniac. _

Kurt: _How do you know?_

Blaine: _I've seen you sleep. _

Kurt: _No, I'm definitely an insomniac. _

Blaine: _You are NOT an insomniac. _

Kurt: _ Am. _

Blaine: _You forgot the subject. All sentences need at least a subject and a verb. _

Kurt: _Not in Latin. In Latin the ending tells you the subject, and you can just have the verb. _

Blaine: _Yes, but we're not Roman. Wait- when did you learn Latin? _

Kurt: _… _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Kurt: _I like Latin. _

Blaine: _How do you know Latin? _

Kurt: _You don't want to know. _

Blaine: _Kurt. How do you know Latin? You're fluent in French- yes- but you don't learn anything else. _

Blaine: _Kurt, I know you're intentionally not texting me. _

Blaine: _KURT. _

Kurt: _Hi. _

Blaine: _Please answer the question. _

Kurt: _What if I don't want to? _

Blaine: _Then I'll drive up to Lima. _

Kurt: _It's Thursday. It takes 2 hours to drive here from Dalton. _

Blaine: _Your point is? _

Kurt: _FINE. Do you really want to know? _

Blaine: _Yes. _

Kurt: _I taught myself some. Cos it was so close to French, and I love French, so I thought I'd love Latin… _

Kurt: _Blaine?_

Kurt: _Blaine? Have you gone back to sleep? _

Kurt: _Cos if you have, I'm afraid I'll be forced to spam your texts again. _

Kurt: _BLAINE. _

Kurt: _Blainey. _

Kurt: _Blainey Blainey Blaine. _

Blaine: _Please stop. And… I think you're _adorable_. _

Kurt: _It's not that hard. _

**A/N: I am forced to do Latin by my school. :/ And yes it **_**is**_**. :) **

Blaine: _That's not the point. _

Kurt: _What's the point? _

Blaine: _You're adorable. And I have to go to sleep now, before Wes bites my head off for keeping him up. _

Kurt: _Bye. xx _

Kurt: _Still an insomniac. _

Blaine: _Kurt, I swear to God… _

Kurt: _Sorry. _

XxXxX

Kurt: _Hi, Blaine. _

Blaine: _Hi, Kurt… anything wrong? _

Kurt: _Nope. _

Blaine: _OK… why are you texting, then? _

Kurt: _Well, actually, it's not Kurt. _

Blaine: _Right… OK, I'm going to pretend that you're not creeping me out and tell you to give Kurt his phone back you stalker and/or weirdo. _

Kurt: _Actually it's Rachel Berry. _

Blaine: _Rachel. Wonderful. What do you want? _

Kurt: _I just wanted to tell you that you are very suspicious. _

Blaine: _As what? Kurt's boyfriend? _

Kurt: _No. As a SPY. _

Blaine: _I'm laughing out loud, Rachel. Trust me, I'm not a spy. _

Kurt: _I don't. And I'm going to check Kurt's phone frequently to make sure he's not leaking our set lists to you. _

Blaine: _That's a bit excessive. And you don't have his passcode. And I know he locks it. _

Kurt: _I do actually know it. 2524. Sometimes 2563. _

Blaine: _How do you know _that_? _

Kurt: _It's Blai. Or Blne. _

Blaine: _Oh. _

Kurt: _Yes, that's quite enough of that. I'm going to have to change it now…_

Blaine: _Is this Kurt? Or Rachel pretending to be Kurt?_

Kurt: _Kurt, don't worry. And ignore her. She's a hypocrite. _

Blaine: _She leaks your set lists to your competition…? _

Kurt: _No, she dated Jesse St. James last year, and he was so _obviously _a spy. _

Blaine: _I really don't mind. Rachel can rant all she likes, it doesn't change a thing. _

Kurt: _I resent that. _

Blaine: _Hello Rachel. _

Kurt: _Hello Warbler. _

Blaine: _Why don't you just text me your threats from your own phone, instead of stealing Kurt's? With some PRIVATE messages. _

Kurt: _Oh, really? _

Blaine: _RACHEL DON'T YOU DARE SCROLL UP. _

Kurt: _Aw, you two are too cute. _

Blaine: _You were accusing me of spying on you a minute ago. _

Kurt: _Just because you're so obviously a spy doesn't mean I can't find you guys' relationship cute. And I resent being called a hypocrite. _

Blaine: _Rachel, please put Kurt back on. As much as I love talking to you… why don't you just put my number on your phone? _

Kurt: _Because I need to read you and Kurt's conversations every week, to make sure no leaking is going on. _

Blaine: _No you don't. _

Kurt: _Hello, me again. RACHEL PLEASE READ THIS: Just because we're sort of friends, it doesn't mean I can't go bitch on you. _

Blaine: _You're so cute when you threaten people. _

Kurt: _Thanks. Thanks. _

Blaine: _My pleasure. _

Kurt: _Your threats do not faze me. _

Blaine: _Rachel. _

Kurt: _Sorry, we have to rehearse now. Bye Blaine! _

Blaine: _I HATE YOU RACHEL. _

Kurt: _No you don't. _

Blaine: _Oh is Rachel having a Klainevention? That's a Klaine Intervention. _

Kurt: _Yes… I am… you were reading it all!_

Blaine: _Yes, but this is his roommate. Wes. _

Kurt: _I refuse to talk to anyone who may throw the competition. Wait- are you in the Warblers?_

Blaine: _Yes. _

Kurt: _Then I refuse to talk to you. _

Blaine: _Can you put Kurt on? I haven't talked to him in ages. He seems to have deleted my number… _

Kurt: _Ummm… yes, he has. _

Blaine: _Rachel. Blaine here again. Wes is NOT HERE. Give Kurt his phone back. NOW. _

Kurt: _Alright, alright. Honestly. _

Blaine: _Thank you. _

Kurt: _Ummm… Blaine?_

Blaine: _Yeah? _

Kurt: _Why have they given us a nickname? _

**A/N: There you go. :) As ever, reviews and suggestions are more than welcome. Almost mandatory. Please? It only takes 2 minutes, not even that. Thanks for reading, and enjoy the rest of your day! **

**And the Story Alerts sans reviews are still annoying me. But I'm not going to turn them off, 'cause it's a nice feeling knowing that someone wants to follow your story.**

**Still.**

**Anyway, enough of me rambling. I do tend to do that. **

**Ahem. **

**Review and suggest! :D **


	5. Sabotage

**A/N: Hello, me again. Little old me. Little story for you: **

I do a part-time theatre school on Saturday mornings, and today the focus was 'what makes us laugh' (last week was a photo of doll heads being stamped on, if you're interested… probably not.) So, we had to tell stories about us/a family member that were funny. My partner was talking about the time when she went on a French homestay, and there was a black cat in the house, and she (let's call her Tammi (not her real name)) was in the attic, and the cat had taken to staring at Tammi very coldly every time she came down from the attic. But once in the night, she hadn't realised that the cat was at the bottom (because it's a STALKER CAT ;) ) and she stepped on it.

**It hated her even more. **

**Anyway. **

**This chapter has been born of a suggestion from llamallamallamaKLAINE and In The Loft also helped to get it off the ground (we know each other personally, hence). **

Kurt: _Rachel's plotting. _

Blaine: _What do you mean? _

Kurt: _She has her plotting face on. And she's gone 24 hours without BHFT. That is saying something. _

Blaine: _No BHFT? _

Kurt: _Not for me. Not today- though that's not necessarily a good thing. _

Blaine: _… why? _

Kurt: _Because when she goes without, she's planning something much worse. And she's been looking at me all day. _

Blaine: _Because you're gorgeous? _

Kurt: _Nope- and I'm not- because her plots include me. _

Blaine: _Plots? _

Kurt: _Plots. Oh, she has plans, but plans don't distract from BHFT. _

Blaine: _But plots do? _

Kurt: _Exactly. _

Blaine: _Right. _

Kurt: _Yes. _

Blaine: _Don't worry, Wes and David have given up on trying to steal my phone. _

Kurt: _You should be. _

Blaine: _No… I just said, Wes and David have given up. _

Kurt: _Not them. Rachel. Rachel is trying to steal my phone again and host another 'Klainevention', I'm sure of it. And honestly, I'm really really tired of being called 'Klaine'. _

Blaine: _I think it's cute. _

Kurt: _I hate labels. _

Blaine: _Fair enough. _

Kurt: _Though, Klaine is VERY VERY cute and I approve of it. _

Blaine: _Hello Rachel. _

Kurt: _Was I that obvious? _

Blaine: _Yes. Honestly, have the New Directions never spied? _

Kurt: _Why? _

Blaine: _Because you're all horrendous at it. _

Kurt: _This is all of New Directions here, and we're here to host a Klainevention. _

Blaine: _All? _

Kurt: _Yes. _

Blaine: _ALL of you? _

Kurt: _Yes._

Blaine: _Good. I only want to talk to one of you. _

Kurt: _Mercedes. _

Blaine: _No. KURT. _

Kurt: _Oh, right. He's not here._

Blaine: _Again, see-through plots and disguises. Who's distracting him? _

Kurt: _No-one. _

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Kurt: _No. _

Blaine: _She is. _

Kurt: _No. _

Blaine: _When is the lying going to stop? You know, lying impacts your singing voice. _

Kurt: _Fine it's Mercedes. And is that true? _

Blaine: _Nope. _

Kurt: _I HATE YOU WARBLER. _

XxXxX

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Blaine: _Mercedes, answer these now. _

Blaine: _Mercedes, I know you're there and acting as a distraction. _

Blaine: _Mercedes, tell Kurt Rachel has his phone. _

Kurt: _Oi, Blaine. _

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Kurt: _Blaine. _

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Kurt: _Blaine. _

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Kurt: _Blaine. _

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Kurt: _Blaine._

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Kurt: _Blaine. _

Blaine: _Mercedes. _

Kurt: _Blaine._

Kurt: _BLAINE IT'S ME NOT RACHEL. Can we stop spamming each other's texts now. _

Blaine: _Oh right. Sorry. _

Kurt: _Yes. Now. They're plotting their next move for the Klainevention. _

Blaine: _What do they want? _

Kurt: _To annoy me. _

Blaine: _Why are they trying to annoy you?_

Kurt: _Because they're my friends. ;) _

Blaine: _That makes no sense. _

Kurt: _Oh please. You get annoyed and creeped out by David and Wes, don't you? Do you really think they're like that around a girl they fancy or whatever? No. It's because you get irked by it, and they love seeing you irked. Because they're your _friends_. _

Blaine: _Guess that explains why you never intentionally annoyed me. _

Kurt: _Blaine. The others are GOING TO READ THIS. As sweet as you are, this is not the most private conversation. _

Blaine: _True. _

Kurt: _Thank you. BACK SOON. _

Blaine: _Klainevention. Right. _

Kurt: _Argh why does he have to tell you everything? _

Blaine: _Nice to talk to you again Rachel. _

Kurt: _You're very sarcastic. Who rubbed off on who? _

Blaine: _What do you mean? _

Kurt: _You're both too sarcastic for your own good. _

Blaine: _Kurt on me. _

Kurt: _OK. How long have you been dating, exactly? _

Blaine: _A month or so…_

Kurt: _Or so? What does or so mean? Are you not fully committed? _

Blaine: _Rachel… please stop with the questions that are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. _

Kurt: _I fail to see the need for that tone. _

Blaine: _We're not speaking. _

Kurt: _And that was also unnecessary. _

Blaine: _Rachel, are you going to give Kurt his phone back or not? _

Kurt: _Not. _

Blaine: _Looks like I'm driving up to McKinley to make you give it back then. _

Kurt: _That will not be necessary. _

Blaine: _Give the phone back. _

Kurt: _No. _

Blaine: _What's the point of you keeping it? _

Kurt: _So that I can check that Dalton isn't getting any of our secrets. _

Blaine: _How is that going to work… if you _have _the phone. _

Kurt: _Oh. _

Blaine: _Yeeeeah. Now why don't you do all of us a favour and go away. _

Kurt: _Kurt's attitude's rubbed off on you as well, hasn't it?_

Blaine: _No, it hasn't, actually. I'm my own person. However, you are getting on this own person's nerves. Big time. _

Kurt: _There's no need to be snippy. Now _that's _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Yes it is. Are you on a mission to find all the similarities between us? Because you're going to use up all his texts. And though you might be willing to do that to the competition, that's not fair on your team mate and ultimately, your friend. _

Kurt: _You do have a point…_

Blaine: _Yes, I do. Well done. Phone. _

Kurt: _Argh. Don't want to. _

Blaine: _Do it. _

Kurt: _He's gonna be so annoyed at me. _

Blaine: _And whose fault is that?_

Kurt: _Okay, okay, don't go on. _

Blaine: _I'm not the one going on. You're insisting on continuing this conversation. _

Kurt: _What if I'm enjoying the conversation, Blaine Warbler? _

Blaine: _I'm going out with Kurt. Stop flirting._

Kurt: _Ugh you're no fun. _

Blaine: _I'm faithful. There's a difference. Phone NOW Rachel Monica Berry. _

Kurt: _How do you know my middle- Kurt, right? _

Blaine: _You're learning. _

Kurt: _Repetition. _

Blaine: _Yes? Children used to learn by rote, you know. There's nothing wrong with it. _

Kurt: _Why are we even having this conversation? _

Blaine: _You started it. NOW. GIVE. KURT. HIS. PHONE. BACK. _

Kurt: _Ummm… I can't. _

Blaine: _Why not? _

Kurt: _Lost Kurt. _

A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUUN! Sorry. I just felt like leaving a cliffhanger there for once. Remember to review and suggest! What on earth's happened to Kurt? :O You know you want to. You know you don't just want to add me to your reviews. :)

**Anyway, enough of me. **

**kurtsiegirl: I'm dropping Latin too! I don't find it that confusing… just boring. And no-one cares that Aristo hates his wife! Or that Helena's a whore. Awww, thanks. You're too sweet. **

**In The Loft: I do try. Thank you! Yes, I know that I didn't use your specific idea, but I used your suggestions to get this one off the ground, so consider that compensation. Actually, I completely forgot about the confiscation. Bad G-B-C. :( **

**HappyEmoness: Thank you for the kind review! It's really starting to get on my nerves… I didn't care as much before, cos not many people read my other stories, but… **

**gleek101obsessed: Thanks! I did really enjoy writing different names for Blaine. It was very… let's go with amusing. **

**llamallamallamaKLAINE: Thank you for the suggestion, and as you can see, I used it in this fanfic. Hoped you enjoyed it! **

**Girlbubble7991: They are very epic, aren't they? THANK YOU! **

**Thank you to everyone, again, and if you review you'll get a little replying comment too. Isn't that an incentive? Oh, what the hell. Just review please. :) **


	6. Stuffed Toys

A/N: Hello everyone. Do you know what day it is? Yes, it's Friday 27 May. Do you know what's special about this day (apart from Chapter 6 being posted)? I hope you do. If you don't, IT'S CHRIS COLFER'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!

**Happy birthday Chris!**

**OK, I had to get that out of my system. **

**Hands up all who watched the Glee finale. OH MY GOD I'M STILL RECOVERING FROM THE EPICNESS OF IT. OK, I know at least one person who reads this who hasn't seen this so I'll stop talking about it. If anyone cares to talk about it with me (because I seriously have no life ;) ) then I'll be more than happy to have a private messaging chat with you. Well, this should be interesting… yeah, I need to get a life that isn't Glee. **

**OK, that's not happening. **

**Sorry. I got a few requests via reviews for a normal talking conversation and a bit more Klaine fluff/romance. I have a teeny quibble with this (not that your review wasn't valued!). One- this is meant to be a texting conversation, hence the title, Kl**_**exting**_**. And also, In The Loft will confirm this, I cannot write romance to save my life. So, I've put a poll on my profile about this. If you want a say in how this story progresses, I urge you to vote. If there is a majority, against all my little quibbles, I **_**will **_**write a few chapters out of texting… **

**Anyway, this author's note is getting way too long, so I'm going to stop it here before I make it longer than the actual story. I could write a whole fanfic about how epic Klaine are, so you know… ;) **

**Disclaimer: Not a tiny bit. Unfortunately. Trust me, if I did own Glee or Klaine or New Directions or any of the others, there'd be a lot more Klaine. And Blaine would have- Nationals- you who've seen it probably know what I'm talking about. Hopefully. If I say anything else, it's gonna spoiler. So yeah. I'll tell you what I'm talking about in a less spastic way when New York comes to the UK. **

**Aaah I'm rambling again! :O Right. Definitely writing the story. **

**Oh one last thing. Last night I bought Darren Criss's album, Human. It is absolutely amazing. There's only 5 songs, but I really don't care. Stand outs are Sami, Not Alone and Don't You. **

**Also, I apologise for the alert that came earlier today that a new chapter was up, and now I'm putting this one up. It's the same chapter, I just forgot to make some edits so I took it down briefly. So yeah. **

**ANYWAY. Klexting! **

**Whoops, nearly forgot. This story comes from llamallamallamaKLAINE. Kinda. And then me. Because the only slight suggestion came from him/her. Agh I don't know. I'm going to assume you're a girl. :) **

**Stop rambling G-B-C and write. **

Blaine: _What. The. Hell. _

Kurt: _Not my fault! _

Blaine: _I rather think it is. _

Kurt: _OK, Blaine, you're scaring me now, can you please stop with the overprotective boyfriend thing now? _

Blaine: _I'm sorry, no, surprisingly, I can't. _

Kurt: _I don't know who's scarier… you now or Kurt with his bitch face…_

Blaine: _I honestly don't care. FIND HIM. _

Kurt: _Ummm… no can do. _

Blaine: _What the hell. _

Kurt: _Can you stop saying that now? _

Blaine: _Can you swap to your own phone? _

Kurt: _Yeah, OK. _

XxXxX

Rachel: _Right, Rachel here. _

Blaine: _Thank you. _

Rachel: _OK, where could he be? _

Blaine: _The Gap. The mall. I don't know. Just look. _

Rachel: _OK, OK. Stop stressing. _

Blaine: _Funnily enough, Rachel, now is not the best time for that. _

Rachel: _Fine. I'll go check the Gap then. _

Blaine:_ You do that. Wait, where's everyone else?_

Rachel: _Do you want me to check the Gap or look around the school for everyone? _

Blaine: _Weren't you just in rehearsal? _

Rachel: _It's lunch. _

Blaine: _You have rehearsal during your lunch hour? _

Rachel: _We're quite a messed up group. _

Blaine: _I see… LOOK FOR KURT. I honestly don't care about the others. _

Rachel: _Awww, that's so sweet. It's almost Broadway musical _(**HEHE. Awww Rachel and Kurt were so sweet in 'New York'. Sorry.) **_material. _

Blaine: _You want to have this conversation now? _Now_? _

Rachel: _No, sorry. _

Blaine: _Good. _

XxXxX

Rachel: _He's not in the Gap. _

Blaine: _Have you checked the mall? _

Rachel: _Yes. _

Blaine: _Have you checked his house? _

Rachel: _That's really stalkery. _

Blaine: _Ring on the doorbell. That's what they're there for. _

Rachel: _Fine. _

Blaine: _Good. _

Rachel: _Not there. _

Blaine: _You didn't go. _

Rachel: _Nope. _

Blaine: _Why not?_

Rachel: _'Cause I called his dad. And he said Kurt wasn't in. _

Blaine: _You have Kurt's dad's number on your phone? _That's _stalkery. _

Rachel: _Noooo. Kurt has Kurt's dad's number on his phone. _

Blaine: _Yes… and… oh. _

Rachel: _There we go. _

Blaine: _Did you ask him if he knew where Kurt was?_

Rachel: _Nope._

Blaine: _You were just on the phone on one of the most likely people to know… and didn't ask the most obvious question. _

Rachel: _Basically. _

Blaine: _You are an idiot sometimes. _

Rachel: _That's very offensive. _

Blaine: _That's a shame. _

Rachel: _That's not necessary. _

Blaine: _This is off the point. _

Rachel: _Yes, good point. I suppose you want me to go look for him some more instead of practising for my next solo? _

Blaine: _Yes. _

Rachel: _Argh. _

Blaine: _I'm sorry, Rachel, but it just so happens that Kurt means a _bit _more to me than one of your numerous solos. _

Rachel: _That's also offensive. _

Blaine: _Go check the bleachers. _

Rachel: _I'm at the mall. OH MY GOD I'M AT THE MALL. _

Blaine: _I honestly don't care. Go check the bleachers. _

Rachel: _I can't… by the time I get back, I'll have to go to lessons. _

Blaine: _Better get moving then. _

Rachel: _I hate you sometimes Warbler._

Blaine: _No you don't. _

Rachel: _Yes I do. _

Blaine: _No you don't. _

Rachel: _Yes I do. _

Blaine: _Bleachers. _

Blaine: _Bleachers. _

Blaine: _Look now. _

Blaine: _BLEACHERS. _

Blaine: _Bleachers. _

Blaine: _Bleachers. _

Blaine: _Bleachers. _

Blaine: _Bleachers. _

Blaine: _Bleachers. _

Blaine: _Bleachers. _

Rachel: _STOP SPAMMING MY TEXTS. _

XxXxX

Kurt: _Got my phone back. _

Blaine: _Oh, my God, you scared me so much. Don't do that to me. _

Kurt: _Sorry. _

Blaine: _It's alright… don't worry about it. xx _

Kurt: _OW. _

Blaine: _What's wrong? _

Kurt: _Rachel just threw a fluffy pink seal at me. _

Blaine: _Dare I ask why? _

Kurt: _I have several theories. One has to do with the fact that she's now shouting 'SPY SPY SPY' at me. _

Blaine: _Self explanatory. _

Kurt: _I thought so. _

Blaine: _What's another theory? _

Kurt: _She's bored. And also she lost out on her BHFT so now she's making up for it by throwing the fluffy pink seal. _

Blaine: _OK, why a fluffy pink seal? _

Kurt: _I have no idea. She's a strange midget. _

Blaine: _I thought I was the midget. _

Kurt: _No, silly, you're the hobbit. There's a very distinct difference between the two. _

Blaine: _If you say so. _

Kurt: _I do say so. _

Blaine: _Good. _

Kurt: _Very good. _

Blaine: _This is pointless. _

Kurt: _Oh, right, I'm meant to be paying attention to the lesson, aren't I? _

Blaine: _Probably. _

Kurt: _Whatever. This was the first thing I did at Dalton. :( I miss you. _

Blaine: _Miss you too. _

Kurt: _And the Warblers… though I love the liberty at WMHS, Dalton was my first real school family…_

Blaine: _Don't you see the New Directions as your family? _

Kurt: _Yeah… but no at the same time. I guess it's kind of a mix of both. Why are we talking about this? :'( _

Blaine: _You're not actually crying?_

Kurt: _No. Will do if this conversation continues __*hint hint*_

Blaine: _Then I guess we'll have to talk about something else. _

Kurt: _I guess so. :D _

A/N: Aaah I know this wasn't as good. But that's your fault, really- I DIDN'T GET MANY PROMPTS (actually only one and they were vague guesses to where Kurt had disappeared) and I can only take banter to a certain amount.

So yeah.

Excuse me while I scream about Rachel and Kurt's duet in 'New York'. And scream some more. Sorry.

Back. So yeah. I apologise for the bad chapter. :( But I wanted to get it out for his birthday, and I'm also writing a longer novel for myself, so I was kinda ARGH last night as I realised I hadn't actually done this. So yeah. And no that has nothing to do with me watching New York again… O.o But no Glee for quite a few months now… :( I am VERY depressed about this.

Anyway. Review (please) and PLEASE PLEASE add suggestions. Thank you! Enjoy the rest of your day while I celebrate his birthday. :) OK, I'm not going that far, but still. :D

Also remember to vote on the poll on my profile to decide the outcome of this fanfic about the cutest couple in Glee!

Girlbubble7991: Yes, you do know me personally as well. Thanks! I know, if anyone would lose a person, though, it would be Rachel. Thanks. And by the way, you saw me at least four times (probably more) since you added that review and didn't remind me once. Breaking your promises Onion? How could you?

llamallamallamaKLAINE: Hey, well look at that, I'm using your suggestion again. ;) And thanks. Wow, you have quite a few suggestions for where Kurt could have been… I did use some of them, but others were quite disturbing and I'm not even going to delve into where you might have gotten them from. Not a Starkid, but love all their productions. :D Which I do think are epic. :D Again, thank you for the review and the endless suggestions!

kurt-there-is-a-moment: To start, I just want to say, I love your username and think that was one of the cutest moments in the WHOLE of the show. And no… it has nothing… to do with who says it… XD Thanks! I'm glad that my story is not one of the (apparently) abundance that annoy.

gleek101Obsessed: Welcome, and thank you! That is generally my aim. Well hopefully you've read the first (slightly excessive) author's note so you know my opinion on real contact… in this anyway. But yeah, go ahead and vote on the poll. OK, will incorporate those more private messages in a later chapter, would have done it in this one, but I wanted to get this out quickly, and I _really _didn't have enough time. It's coming soon though!

Zypher-Kat: Thank you! More is definitely coming, don't worry. Thank you. Yeah, I know it takes a little while for inspiration to hit, take as long as you like, I do have suggestions coming from other people as well, so… :D Aww, thank you. It really does mean a lot to me.

Nayeli13: Hey, thank you for reviewing! I'll take that as a compliment then… a quite warped one, but a compliment all the same… Yep, definitely a win win there. Aah, I meant to read that, I just have no time. I probably need to stop obsessively writing, that would free up some time for me. I don't think it is… I'll head over there on the weekend, and that's a promise.

MaeEmma: I'm sorry! I just felt like throwing that cliffhanger in there. Well, it's my luck too. I always start reading a story that ends on the biggest cliffhanger in the whole story. :S Ah well. Nothing we can do about it. :) Awww, thanks. Noted, again, poll on the profile for expressing just that opinion. Haha. Hints taken. Yeah, just a tad long. Though I did have a hideously long author's note at the start of this story. I don't think you're a creeper, I just think I would make a huge mess of it. Like, I tried writing romance once and it turned into a story about daffodils… see what I mean? 'Update like the wind, child'? Actually, no, I'm not even going to go there.

kurtsiegirl: Thank you! And I agree with you completely over Latin, don't worry, I don't get offended by language, I just don't use it very often. Unless it's in a song. Which somehow makes it OK… yeah, my mind's weird.

chaos-walking: Thanks! I also love your username. I swear no-one's read the series, which is an absolute catastrophe, because they are absolutely AMAZING. Is it weird Manchee's my favourite character? :O Anyway, off topic, this isn't a Chaos Walking fanfic, it's a Glee one. :D Thanks again for the review.

Wow, that took a long time. This is a whole page on a Word document replying to reviews. Yeah, that's right, a whole PAGE. I don't mind, though, I'll type lots of pages if it means more reviews… *hint hint* Anyway. Vote on poll, review and suggest!


	7. Trouble

A/N: Hey, me again. This isn't really gonna be a proper chapter, but it was just to fill some holes pointed out from the last chapter. And I'm bored. And I'm on half term now. And I've been on a permanent Glee- well, Kurt – high today, listening to Klaine songs and wearing a fabulous scarf. Though I don't have any fabulous hats, so none for me today. :(

**Anyway. Let's go! **

**This was kicked off by ahathani, and I'd just like to say thank you SO much for your review! The amount of material you gave me was **_**incredible**_**! **

**On with this little filler! **

**Also, sorry about the delay, I just never got round to posting this even though it was written on Friday… :/**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the characters affiliated with it. (If I say that in as dull of a sentence as possible, do you think it will lessen the pain of the sentence?)**

Blaine: _Kurt?_

Blaine: _Kurt…_

Blaine: _KURT. _

Blaine: _Rachel Berry, give Kurt his phone back. _

Blaine: _Rachel. _

Kurt: _She doesn't have my phone. I was doing my moisturising routine. _

Blaine: _Ah. So, Kurt, where _did _you go? _

Kurt: _What do you mean? _

Blaine: _Earlier. _

Kurt: _What earlier?_

Blaine: _When you disappeared._

Kurt: _Oh right. That._

Blaine: _Where did you go?_

Kurt: _Doesn't matter. Just wanted Rachel to feel guilty. _

Blaine: _Kurt._

Kurt: _Yes._

Blaine: _Please tell me._

Kurt: _What if I don't want to?_

Blaine: _Why don't you want to tell me?_

Kurt: _Because it doesn't matter! _

Blaine: _It does to me. _

Kurt: _You're blowing this out of proportion. _

Blaine: _If you don't tell me, I'll just assume the worst. _

Kurt: _Do you want to know? _

Blaine: _Yes, Kurt! I bloody want to know what the hell's going on! _

Kurt: _I went to watch the football practice. _

Blaine: _Football? You hate football. _

Kurt: _That'd be the last place Rachel would look. _

Blaine: _There's a but. _

Kurt: _Why does there have to be a 'but'? _

Blaine: _I know you, Kurt, better than myself. There's a but. _

Kurt: _Yeah, OK. There is a but. _

Blaine: _Kurt, please tell me. _

Kurt: _I don't… not on text… can you come up… please? Quickly? Please? _

A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN! Yeah, more suspense there for you. Oh, looks like I am doing out of texting then. And romance. Bye bye poll.

**So, yes, I am doing attempts at humour, but I also thought it'd inject some serious plot line into it as well, otherwise it kinda wouldn't go anywhere, and that would really irk me. In extremity. So yeah. **

**Review and suggest! I know it wasn't that great (or that long) but I was kinda rushing things here as well and I did fill in any gaps from the last one. I COMPLETELY forgot to have Blaine ask Kurt where he'd gone. Because I'm clever. So the next one will definitely be more detailed, I just wanted to get this up. And I shall definitely be going back to prompts by the next chapter. **

**ahathani: *virtual hug* You are absolutely amazing! I have enough prompts from you to last a month! *goes off to write another chapter* And thank you for the review! It really meant a lot. Thanks again for reading! **

**Awesomegirl1999: I'm going to assume you like the word 'awesome'. ;) Thanks! Thank you for the very flattering review, keep on reading please, I promise the next chapter will be better than this one. **

**Yeah x3: Aww, you're too sweet. Any comments on the other chapters? :D Or suggestions of course. Suggestions are like crack to me. Yes, not reviews, actually, be proud. :) Ahem. **

**Blehblehbleh: OK, thank you, I didn't know it at the time, but I remember Rachel saying her dads were big fans of Friends so I just used another Friends character… I'll keep it in mind. Though I can't be bothered to change it. **

**LlamallamallamaKLAINE: Oooh… good ideas… they're going on the long list of plots I now have to create for this story. Getting bogged down by it all… :O But, thanks for the review (constant reviews) again! **

**KiKiFliesDW13: Haha, well it didn't start out as one, but I can only do pointless rambling for so long. :) **

**Love you all! 3 (**_**especially**_** the people who review)**


	8. Phobia

**A/N: Whoo I'm back! Sorry. OK, so my school ends on the 8 July. And because my laptop seems to hate me and FanFiction, and I'm doing work practically through the whole summer, and et cetera et cetera, I won't be updating (probably) the whole summer. *le gasp* I know, I'm evil, and sorry! **_**But **_**I will still be writing, and when school resumes in September I shall put them all up, never fear. :) **

**And also, because I'm clever, I forgot to change the rating on the last chapter. So… yeah. That wasn't that important… **

**Anyway, to more pressing evens: I am so so so so so excited! Seeing GLEE LIVE! **_**tomorrow **_**with a really good friend and I CANNOT WAIT. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Already seen vids, and the recordings look amazing. And of course live is so much better, so… *fangirly screaming commences***

**Anyway. Enough of my scary obsession. ;) On with the fluff. Well what should be fluff and will probably evolve into a little angst because I may or may not be slightly addicted to writing angst. **

**The idea for this chapter was given to me by a friend, when I sent an email to her (and some others) asking for prompt words 'cause I was seriously bored and had serious writers block, and she came back with the word in this. So yeah. I'll go back to reviewery prompts next time, it was just too good a word to let go. **

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own anything because if I did then Glee would have to be renamed as The Klaine Show. **

Kurt: _You get home ok Blaine? _

Kurt: _Blaaaaaaine. _

Kurt: _Earth to Blaine._

Kurt: _You're still in your car aren't you?_

Blaine: _Yes, hi, hi, I was. Though…_

Kurt: _What…?_

Blaine: _Hippo potomon stroses quipedal iophobia_ **(A/N: There it is. If I don't put the spaces in it doesn't come up. *sad face*)**

Kurt: _OK, what? _

Blaine: _Hippo potomon stroses quipedal iophobia_

Kurt: _Yes, I can read. _

Blaine: _You asked me what it said. _

Kurt: _I asked you for clarification. _

Blaine: __Hippo potomon stroses quipedal iophobia_. _

Kurt: _Repeating a word does not bring clarification. _

Blaine: _It doesn't? :O _

Kurt: _Ha ha ha. I'm literally dying of laughter. _

Blaine: _No need to get like that. ._

Kurt: _Now it's getting annoying. _

Blaine: _Oh, is it? _

Kurt: _NO. _

Blaine: _I don't believe you. _

Kurt: _Well you should. _

Blaine: __Hippo potomon stroses quipedal iophobia_. Well I don't. _

Kurt: _Please stop repeating that word. _

Blaine: _Why should I? _

Kurt: _Because it's pointless. _

Blaine: _It's only pointless because you don't know what it means. _

Kurt: _It's a phobia. Probably a ridiculous one, with a name like that. _

Blaine: _It's fear of long words. _

Kurt: _Oh the ironic wit of the person who came up with that. _

Blaine: _Thought you'd say that. _

Kurt: _Technically I haven't actually said it. _

Blaine: _Texted it, whatever. _

Kurt: _Whatever? WHATEVER? _

Blaine: _And you are freaking out because? _

Kurt: _WHATEVER? WHATEVER? DID I READ THAT RIGHT?_

Blaine: _OK, scary Kurt. Calm down. _

Kurt: _I am. It's hilarious scaring you. _

Blaine: _Not funny. _

Kurt: _Very funny. _

Blaine: _What if you died? Would that be funny? _

Kurt: _No! Where did that come from? _

Blaine: _Then I'd be scared. Would that be hilarious? _

Kurt: _No, you know I didn't mean it like that! It's just that you always find comedy in me and it just… sometimes it hurts. _

Blaine: _Kurt, you know it never is meant to hurt you, right? _

Kurt: _I know… but… I'm sorry, Blaine. It's just too hard. _

Blaine: _What are you saying? If you really want a serious conversation, we should be talking face to face. _

Kurt: _Oh, God, no! It's nothing like that. I'm not breaking up with you or anything. I'm just tired. It's been a long day. I'm going to bed. _

Blaine: _Kurt… you know what the time is, right? _

Blaine: _It's 5:45, Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt? _

**A/N: Waaaaaaaa I'm sorry! I'll give you a happy chapter after I stop listening to Brittana songs/Fleetwood Mac Rumors/Wicked (Defying Gravity and For Good) and just hurry up and go to Glee Live. And get so hyper. Though… that may be not the best situation… never mind. I'll just subject you to it, and we'll see how it goes.**

**Reviewy reply-y time! *less than three***

**Ahathani: Sorry sorry sorry! Well… I suppose that's a… good… thing… I was trying for the evil DIE EMILY DIE ARGH effect there. :) More angst here (soweee) but after Glee Live I'll be way too hyper and happy to write any angst, no worries. **

**BlueGnome: You're welcome! Thank you so much for reading (and reviewing). **

**Klaine4evar: OH MY GOD ANOTHER PERSON WHO LIVES OFF KLAINE FANFICS? *virtual high five * I thought I was the only one! Anyhoo, here's the next chapter. I am planning another Emily chapter sometime in the future, but I thought a break would be needed, and then this went weird and I'll be hyper after Glee Live and there'll be another texting chapter and maybe Emily after that or something else. I dunno. **

**Nisashafield: Hey! Welcome! And yeah, I think everyone probably is with you in hating Emily. I don't, but… she is my character, so. Join the club with that. It probably isn't that healthy my extreme like for Chris Colfer, Kurt Hummel, Klaine, Darren Criss and Blaine Anderson, but really, what the hell. Aww, thanks! I'll have some bad things happen to her, but she may have to get her way some of the time. As I said, I need a plot in this story. Aww, you're too kind, and here was the update. **

**Girlbubble7991: That it is, that it is. Thanks. :) Ever so constructive review you've got there. ;) **

**Kurtsiegirl: Awww, thanks! And thank you for reading. **

**Janie17: Yep, it did. As it has done in Physics and Biology. :/ Anyway. Oh, I do that to another one of my friends! SO funny. Bwa ha ha, aren't I just so evil? You love it really. Well I do. It's fun for me. Maybe not so much for you… shutting up. I plan to tell the majority of this in texting, but it is quite restrictive, because I really can't see them having any cute or private convo on a text… but I still find it fun, plus the name is texting-centric, so… Thanks! **

**OK, so if you've got this far, well done, review *pointed looks especially at girlbubble7991 and In The Loft* please, you'll get a reply, enjoy, have fun waiting over summer, get ready for me high on Glee (never a good thing) and have a good life! **

**G-B-C xx**


	9. Shopping

**A/N: Hiya. Thanks again for all the absolutely amazing reviews. **

**AND OMG GLEE LIVE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E P! I dunno if this is the same in other venues, but we had this secondary stage thing, kinda like a block, and I was right NEXT TO IT. Oh yes, you read that right. And there were quite a few people singing on that. And me and my friend got waved (and smiled) at by… *drum roll***

**Mark Salling.**

**Lea Michele. **

**Amber Riley. **

**DARREN CRISS. **

**CHRIS COLFER. **

**Mmm hmm. You read that right. Anyway, I'm telling you this cos I got a request for stories from Glee Live. So I'm sorry to anyone this tortured… :/ But if anyone who did go want to converse some more about the EPICNESS that is Glee Live, my inbox is always open. **

**OK, so this is from ahathani, the first of many, due to the ridiculous amount of prompts I received from them. **

**Anyway. I apologise for the hyperness of it. Yep, it's Tuesday evening and I'm still hyper from a Glee Sunday matinee… :D **

**Disclaimer: If only… But no. UNFORTUNATELY. **

**Also, some of my friends and me did this kind of Glee improvvy thing while we were just waiting around at our school's sports day, which is so dull (you only do about 2 minutes of events for the whole 4 hours) and it started out hilarious but really went all angsty. Like seriously angsty. Like Klaine are nearly over due to suspicious (but actually innocent) behaviour. **

**See? Anyway, I apologise if this goes angsty. It probably won't, seeing as I still get REALLY high after reliving the concert in my mind. So. On with the show! **

**Oh, one last thing I want to clarify in this stupidly long A/N. IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT. My school ends on **_**8 July**_**. 2 weeks. I'm still posting **_**until **_**then. OK? Updates will not stop until **_**8 JULY. **_

**Right, that's sorted, definitely on with the show: **

Kurt: _Help! HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP NOW! ! ! _

Blaine: _What is it? _

Kurt: _I FORGOT THE SHOPPING LIST. _

Blaine: _OK…_

Kurt: _NO THIS IS A CATASTROPHE IT'S FOR THE PARTY TONIGHT! _

Blaine: _Party? _

Kurt: _Yeah, our Nationals party! And I FORGOT THE LIST. _

Blaine: _Make it up. _

Kurt: _You could make it up, because the Warblers all love the same things – apart from Wes who only loves his gavel – but I can't. Everyone likes different things. _

Blaine: _Seriously, just make it up. _

Kurt: _I can't just make it up! _

Blaine: _Yes… you can… _

Kurt: _No, I really can't! _

Blaine: _Says who? _

Kurt: _Says me. And the whole of ND. _

Blaine: _Ostrich. _

Kurt: _What…?_

Blaine: _Duck with a sprinkling of Parmesan. _

Kurt: _What the hell?_

Blaine: _Broccoli. _

Kurt: _What's your point? _

Blaine: _Black Forest Gateau. _

Kurt: _Do I want to know? _

Blaine: _Chicken pie. _

Blaine: _Chi i i i i i i i i icken pie. _

Blaine: _Chickies. 3.14159. _

Kurt: _3.14159? _

Blaine: _Pi! _

Kurt: _You are hopeless. _

Blaine: _No I'm not. You love me really. _

Kurt: _You just told me the first six digits of π. _

Blaine: _Did you really need to find the Greek letter? _

Kurt: _No. ARGH SHOPPING. Blaine can you PLEASE go and get the list from my room? _

Blaine: _I'm at Dalton. _

Kurt: _AH. _

Blaine: _Go home and get the list. _

Kurt: _I can't! I'm already running late!_

Blaine: _Try and remember it then. _

Kurt: _AH STRESS STRESS STRESS. _

Blaine: _Kurt. Calm down. Here, let me help. _

Kurt: _How? _

Blaine: _Chicken pie. _

Kurt: _That's what you were doing!_

Blaine: _Yes. Helping. _

Kurt: _Well it isn't. _

Blaine: _Tough. _

Kurt: _Wait, what? What do you mean, 'tough'? _

Blaine: _No reason. _

Kurt: _Yeah, sure. _

Blaine: _Do you like concerts? _

Kurt: _… why? _

Blaine: _Do you? _

Kurt: _Not answering. _

Blaine: _Do YOU? _

Kurt: _PI. _

Blaine: _Oh you did not! You didn't use my argument against me. _

Kurt: _Yes I did. _

Blaine: _Ooooh this crosses the line Kurtypops. _

Kurt: _Discreet, Wes. _

Blaine: _ARGH YOU'RE NO FUN. _

Kurt: _Buh bye now, Wes. _

Blaine: _Fiiiiiiiiiiine. _

Kurt: _Good. _

Blaine: _Blaine again. _

Kurt: _Your friends… they're getting ever so slightly annoying? _

Blaine: _At least you're not sitting at the same table with them. _

Kurt: _Brittany. _

Blaine: _Touché. _

Kurt: _That it is. _

Blaine: _This conversation has been driven into the ground. _

Kurt: _And I'm still stuck in the supermarket. Getting some strange looks too. _

Blaine: _Pi. Chicken pie. _

Kurt: _Argh. _

Blaine: _ZYZZYVA. _

Kurt: _You are joking. No, whatever. I'll just get something, and if they don't like it, tough. _

Blaine: _That's my boy. _

Kurt: _… ignoring the EXTREMELY PATRONISING comment. _

Blaine: _Okie dokie. _

Kurt: _I don't want to know. _

Blaine: _I don't want to know the reasons why love keeps right on walking down the line! _

Kurt: _Unnecessary. GOODBYE. _

XxXxXx

Blaine: _Bwa. _

Blaine: _Bwa. _

Blaine: _Bwa. _

Blaine: _Bwa. _

Blaine: _Bwa. _

Blaine: _Bwa. _

Blaine: _Bwa. _

Blaine: _FLUFFY SEAL. _

Kurt: _You know, it's funny. I was just having a conversation with Tina, when my phone goes off. I decide to ignore it, being sociable, but it goes off again. And again. And again. AND AGAIN. And so, being forced to disrupt my conversation with Tina, making me extraordinarily unsociable, I check my apparently ever-so-important text messages, to find THAT. _

Blaine: _You love me really. _

Kurt: _Good_bye_, Blaine. Please. For one day, can you stop blowing up my phone. _

Blaine: _May I remind you who blew mine up complaining he was an insomniac – when he DEFINITELY isn't – while I was trying to get to sleep? _

Kurt: _So this is revenge? _

Blaine: _Well… yeah, it is. _

Kurt: _Fantastic. GO AWAY. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _Kurt. _

Blaine: _K U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U URT! _

XxXxXx

Kurt (23:12): _You know there's such a thing as an 'off' button on a phone, right? _

**A/N: Yeah. **

**Sorry. **

***awkward cough***

**But I'm just going to reiterate: POSTING ****UNTIL ****8 JULY. OK? Yep, 8 JULY. **

**Right, that's all done. Heh, the pointed looks did work after all. :) **

**Oh, by the way (THIS BIT IS **_**IMPORTANT**_**), from now on, chapters with OOT before the title mean they are OUT OF TEXTING. OK? OOT. OOT. E.g.: OOT: Kurt Leaves (don't worry, not gonna happen. I love Kurt too much.)**

**Girlbubble7991: Yep, I know what you mean. That's why I love it so! (BTW, if you're wondering, the person who recommended it was the MCR obsessie. You know who I'm talking about.) **

**Klaine4evar: Whoo! Yep, I know, I was just trying to get something out. Don't worry, I am going somewhere with Emily *annoying author giggle because I know where I'm taking it and you don't* Nope, I'm gonna do both. As I said above, OOT. Thanks! I realise I may not have been very clear, so I'm still writing, and will be writing frantically until July 8. Thanks! I did! Awww. I didn't know I was going until a week before I did (short notice, much?) and it was TORTURE. **

**LizaMay: Nah, I don't get angry, just annoyed. And my annoyance evaporates very quickly, don't worry. Thanks! You're hearing from me now. :D Still going strong for two weeks. **

**Nisashafield: Yay! Aww, thanks. Oooh… she might… or she might not… I know. Hehe. You don't. *annoying author giggle* IT WAS AMAZING! EEEEEEEEEEEP. (this has been me for the past 4 days. Including Saturday. It's unhealthy, I know.) AMAZINGAMAZINGAMAZING. And, on your request, put the stories in the A/N above. :) **

**In The Loft: And here it is. Hehehe. :D Blaine's word spouting is awesome. Also, as I said to gb7991, the word came from the MCR obsessie. I will give her some more attention, definitely, HOWEVER, I may be particularly evil and make you wait 2 months for it. *evil laugh* Wow I'm doing a lot of laughing in these review replies… I KNOW! INCREDIBLEINCREDIBLE I'M STILL HYPERRRRRRR! **

**(There may have been some multiple letters FFN cut off from those reviews… sorry about that. But I think it's obvious which ones have been cut… Well they were only in Nisashafield and In The Loft's replies. Anyway.) **

**Reviews make me type faster. The fewer the reviews, the longer the cliffie is drawn out for. So it's really in your best interests to review. **


	10. Harry Potter

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back from my hiatus and come bearing gifts of texting. I'm actually writing WAY too much on fanfiction- a Les Mis/Oliver! crossover, a Doctor Who story, and lots of Glee: this, The Temptress and Lost In Rochester. I know. **_**And **_**I'm meant to be writing my own novel as well. Argh. **

**But I'll plough through it. **

**I really can't wait for The Purple Piano Project, AND for next year when Struck By Lightning comes out, AND for A Very Potter Threequel (hopefully)… Sorry, really **_**really **_**exciting. :) **

**Anyway. Here we go. Kudos to ahathani for this. I know I'm doing quite a lot of her prompts, but she gave me a million. Literally. (Well not literally, but you know what I mean) I'm working through them systematically in chronological order. This is now a prompt fic, btw. **

**I also realised that I find it really annoying reading whole fics in bold or italics, which is actually what I'm writing this in. Whoops. So I've changed the format with italics/normal slightly. You'll see. It's not major. **

**I've had such a busy second week back at school – one of my jobs being having to put together a slideshow of photos and info about a German exchange I did last year for my school's open evening next week. SO MUCH WORK. **

**OK, enough of my rambling. Enjoy. **

**This is now going to be a regular weekly thing, and this is coming on as my anticipation for Glee, which comes out on Wednesday for me ('cause I live in England – and don't own cable TV - , and have to wait a day after it airs in the US for a kind soul to upload it *cough*illegally*cough* online. **_**Shhhhhh.**_**)**

**Disclaimer: I only own a laptop – I don't even own the ideas. ;) **

_Blaine_: Accio wardrobe.

_Kurt_: Okay_…_

_Blaine_: *all of Kurt's designer clothes fly into Blaine's dorm at Dalton*

_Kurt_: I know that this is probably a really bad idea, but _what_?

_Blaine: _ Colloportus.

_Kurt: _…

_Blaine: _*Blaine's door is locked, preventing Kurt coming to Dalton and stealing his clothes back*

_Kurt: _Please just answer me, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Reducto.

_Kurt: _Hum.

_Blaine: _*all of Kurt's clothes are blown to smithereens. Cue Blaine's evil laugh*

_Kurt: _You don't have an evil laugh, darling. You're too dapper for it. Plus, you would never destroy my clothes because you know truly that I'd rip you apart, limb from limb, regardless of how much I love you.

_Blaine: _Obliviate.

_Kurt: _Isn't that the one where… OH MY GOD YOU ARE SUCH A HARRY POTTER GEEK.

_Blaine: _*Kurt forgets that it was Blaine who destroyed his clothes, thinking instead it was Wes*

_Kurt: _Not a chance, love.

_Blaine: _Imperius.

_Kurt: _I swear that's an illegal – what am I saying? It doesn't exist, none of this does!

_Blaine: _*Kurt takes that last comment back before going to steal Wes's gavel and burning it*

_Kurt: _That second part, however, I may be able to agree to.

_Blaine: _Finite incantatem.

_Kurt: _How do you know all this from memory? Seriously. You have way too much free time.

_Blaine: _*Kurt stops doing whatever Blaine wants because Blaine feels guilty and that's the kind of boyfriend he is*

_Kurt: _Mercedes and Rachel told me to tell you that they think you're absolutely adorable, and I'm inclined to agree.

_Blaine: _Locomotor hat.

_Kurt: _I don't like where that's going… what am I _saying_? These. Don't. Exist.

_Blaine: _*Kurt's hat which Blaine just _knows _Kurt is wearing right now lifts off his head and does an Irish Jig above his head*

_Kurt: _Where do you come up with these, Blaine? Seriously.

_Blaine_: Evanesco.

_Kurt: _I give up.

_Blaine: _*Kurt's hat disappears*

_Kurt: _You horrible, spiteful man. What happened to you in your past to make you so contemptible?

_Blaine: _You wound me.

_Kurt: _I'm serious.

_Blaine: _It pierces my heart.

_Kurt: _I'm sorry for that Blaine, but you did make my hat disappear.

_Blaine: _And my heart is breaking right now, Kurt, you gotta know that.

_Kurt: _I doubt it.

_Blaine: _Shattering into a hundred million pieces.

_Kurt: _Again, doubtful.

_Blaine: _I gotta know that you didn't mean it, Kurt.

_Kurt: _Tough.

_Blaine: _My heart really is breaking.

_Kurt: _You exploded my clothes and made my hat disappear. There's no sympathy coming from here tonight.

_Blaine: _Tomorrow night?

_Kurt: _Maybe. Probably not.

_Blaine: _Heart still breaking.

_Kurt: _I'll say it again: tough.

_Blaine: _Shattering into a million, tiny, tiny pieces. How does it feel to be the only one who can save me, yet not do anything?

_Kurt: _Guilt tripping me is not going to work. Not today.

_Blaine: _You could stop this yourself, so, so easily, you know.

_Kurt: _I know. You've made that point quite a few times now.

_Blaine: _So easily. I would leave you alone.

_Kurt: _Would you?

_Blaine: _No. And would you be able to live with yourself, knowing you'd forced me to leave you alone? How would _that _feel, eh, Kurt? Hmm?

_Kurt: _Still not working.

_Blaine: _All you have to do is say 'I love you'. That would save my fragile, fragile heart.

_Kurt: _Your heart is anything but fragile.

_Blaine: _*puppy dog eyes*

_Kurt: _Those are not going to work on me today, Blaine Anderson.

_Blaine: _Are you sure?

_Kurt: _Very.

_Blaine: _I wouldn't want to be you, picking up all my heart's pieces.

_Kurt: _The fact that you can still hold a conversation – even if it is weird – just shows me that you aren't as heartbroken as you're making out to be.

_Blaine: _Oi. I'm the dapper one. I'm the one who says fancy, complicated sentences.

_Kurt: _Just because you're the dapper one doesn't mean I can't prove that I have an education too, you know.

_Blaine: _This conversation is confusing me.

_Kurt: _Ha.

_Blaine: _C'mon Kurt, just say it.

_Kurt: _Hi Kurt's dolphin!

_Blaine: _ Hi Brittany. Give Kurt his phone back now.

_Kurt: _How'd you know that? Are you psychic?

_Blaine: _No, just observant. Go on, give him the phone back.

_Kurt: _And we're back.

_Blaine: _Good. Now go enjoy your sleepover I know for a fact that you're at.

_Kurt: _OK, OK. Love you. xx

_Blaine: _VICTORY.

XxXxX

_Kurt: _I hate you.

**A/N: There we go. Make a cup of tea. Sleep. Review. Go outside and do something with your life. Whatever. (Though I wouldn't say no to you doing the third item on the list ;)) **

**Actually, I need help from all my American readers (or people who've gone to an American university). If that doesn't apply to you, this paragraph will be pointless, and feel free to skim over it. Though 80% of you already do that, so… Anyway. American readers who actually read authors notes, I need your help. Basically, I'm starting to think about universities, even though I've still got quite a few years before I go (and maybe going across to America, when I do). So, I was just wondering, how exactly does the American system work? Umm… that probably could have been phrased better. :/ If you do understand what I'm getting at (I probably wouldn't, if I was in your position), please leave an answer in your review. Cheers! **

**Also, now this is purely a prompt fic, kk? Cool. Just so you know. **

**G-B-C xx**


	11. Autocorrect

**A/N: Heya! **

**This comes from xXxShannahBunnyxXx. It is also the reason why I have an Android phone instead of an iPhone. ;) **

**Disclaimer: You know that time I said that I don't own Glee? Yeah, it still stands. **

_Kurt: _So, Finn was talking about having a vampire this weekend.

_Blaine: _Wait, what?

_Kurt: _A campfire, campfire, campfire. I hate my phone.

_Blaine: _Aaaah. What about the campfire?

_Kurt: _Well he invited me, and then I made him give me a +1, because it's for ND, so I was woooooondering whether you wanted to come.

_Blaine: _Sure. No vampires?

_Kurt: _Stop being so immature, Blaine. No vampires. And please, please, please don't come by grandmother.

_Blaine: _When have I ever come by grandmother…? My grandma's dead – both of them are – remember?

_Kurt: _I hate my phone. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

_Blaine: _Hahahahaha. What did you _mean _to type?

_Kurt: _Motorcycle.

_Blaine: _I have never come by motorcycle either!

_Kurt: _Yes, you have. Multiple times. Wes's birthday, your brother's wedding, Rachel's party…

_Blaine: _Please don't bring Rachel's party up.

_Kurt: _Why, because I had to practically wrestle that motorcycle from her hands?

_Blaine: _Among other things.

_Kurt: _You still owe me for it.

_Blaine: _I thought we agreed, we were never going to speak of it again.

_Kurt: _You offered, I refused to accept the offer. That's not agreeing, Blaine.

_Blaine: _It is to me.

_Kurt: _Of course it is.

_Blaine: _So it seems the revenge of the autocorrect has not been unleashed on you yet?

_Kurt: _What the hell are you talking about?

_Blaine: _You've only had two run-ins with the cursed autocorrect today.

_Kurt: _I've never had run-ins before.

_Blaine: _Says you.

_Kurt: _No, Blaine. This is absolutely ridiculous.

_Blaine: _More ridiculous than zyzzyva?

_Kurt: _Please tell me you're not bringing that up again.

_Blaine: _I'm not bringing that up again.

_Kurt: _You are most definitely not funny.

_Blaine: _You wound me.

_Kurt: _Good.

_Blaine: _Do you want my heart to shatter again? Do you?

_Kurt: _Seriously, Blaine? This conversation really is not going anywhere.

_Blaine: _Do you want it to?

_Kurt: _Well, no… not as _such. _

_Blaine: _Well then.

_Kurt: _This is absolutely ridiculous. You are absolutely ridiculous.

_Blaine: _That's why you love me.

_Kurt: _No comment.

_Blaine: _You know, Kurt, I think you have a compulsive need to reply to every text message.

_Kurt: _No, I don't!

_Blaine: _You didn't have to reply to 'That's why you love me', yet you did. You have a compulsive need to reply to texts.

_Kurt: _No. I. Don't. It would be rude not to.

_Blaine: _Compulsive.

_Kurt: _Whatever. I'll show you I'm not compulsive.

_Blaine: _You so are.

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _C'mon, don't be like that.

_Blaine: _I didn't mean it!

_Blaine: _It was just a little fun, you know that.

_Blaine: _Kurtsies?

_Blaine: _Kurt, I promise you that you are most definitely not a compulsive texter.

_Kurt: _Better. ;)

_Blaine: _Was that really necessary?

_Kurt: _Oh yes.

_Blaine: _If you say so.

_Kurt: _I do say so.

_Blaine: _Do you want to have a conversation about anything?

_Kurt: _Ummmm… not really… stiff…

_Blaine: _Stiff?

_Kurt: _Stuff. Stuff stuff stuff.

_Blaine: _Ah it looks like the autocorrect has returned with a vengeance.

_Kurt: _Shut it, Anderson, before I severed punish you.

_Blaine: _Severed punish, eh? That's a new one. Tell me, Hummel, what exactly does that encompass?

_Kurt: _SHUT UP. You know it was my phone.

_Blaine: _Yep. OK, so about this campfire. Or vampire. Whichever you prefer. Whereabouts will it be?

_Kurt: _Probably in the heinous kid.

_Blaine: _Poor child.

_Kurt: _I. Hate. My. Phone.

_Blaine: _Sure you do.

_Kurt: _Anyway. Campfire, in the NEIGHBOURHOOD, let me just chlorine my Afghan.

_Blaine: _Gotta keep those Afghans clean, you know.

_Kurt: _Check my bloody schedule. You know what, I give up.

_Blaine: _Never an attractive quality.

_Kurt: _Oh shut up.

_Blaine: _Not happening anytime soon, love.

_Kurt: _Good.

_Blaine: _You're so bipolar.

_Kurt: _Very offensive, that.

_Blaine: _I'm sorry.

_Kurt: _Good.

_Blaine: _This conversation has now come to a sudden, grinding halt.

_Kurt: _Why, because I switched the autocorrect off and you lost your source of humour?

_Blaine: _Well, partly, yes… wait, you turned it off?

_Kurt: _Yes, I turned it off. Ha.

_Blaine: _Fine. What were you saying, now you ruined my fun?

_Kurt: _Oh, so you want to have a proper conversation now, do you?

_Blaine: _No, I want to go to this campfire I'm apparently invited to. Who has a campfire in September, anyway?

_Kurt: _I do.

_Blaine: _Actually, Finn does.

_Kurt: _Do you want the details or not?

_Blaine: _Yes, I do. Sorry.

_Kurt: _It's going to be in the local park, in a week, at 7 ish. But, to other topics; whereabouts are you? Could we meet up tonight?

_Blaine: _In the Lima Bean, actually. Sure, I'll come round.

_Kurt: _Why the hell were you in the Lima…

_Blaine: _I was meant to meet someone, but they didn't show.

_Kurt: _Sure. My house? Eat me out.

_Blaine: _As _tempting _as that offer is…

_Kurt: _I TURNED IT OFF!

**A/N: There we go. I'll reiterate: I'm glad I have an Android. **

**Also, this is for a later chapter (don't worry, there's still Klainebows in abounds), if Klaine were to get in an argument, would you be Team Kurt or Team Blaine? Don't worry – they're **_**not **_**going to argue! It's for something else… I'll point it out to you when it comes. :) Review! (including your team)**

**Oh, in case anyone was wondering, the translation for the last autocorrect is 'meet me outside'. **

**G-B-C xx**


	12. Anime

**A/N: Helloop! This is Gleek-Bertha-Cecily. I changed my name to it'.unusual, or i.n.u if you want. Imogen works too. :D **

**I'm posting this today 'cause my fanfiction has been very temperamental the past couple of days and I don't want to discover it's down tomorrow. So yeah. :)**

**OK- I NEED PROMPTS. I really do – cause I have chapters now written for every prompt I got. And if I don't get any more in any reviews from now on, this story will be forced to stop at Chapter 18. And no-one really wants that, do they? So prompt! **

**This is from ahathani. **

**Also, thank you for all the votes on teams. Voting over, time to write the actual chappie. :) You won't see it for another month or so? I think. Sorry about that! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. **

_Kurt: _Blaine!

_Blaine: _^_^

_Kurt: _Aww, it's cute.

_Blaine_: U_U

_Kurt: _As cute as they are, I fail to see the point of them.

_Blaine: _T_T

_Kurt: _Seriously, Blaine? You're just going to text me emoticons? No conversation whatsoever?

_Blaine: _^o^

_Kurt: _This is exactly like your Harry Potter spells whim. I'm talking to myself. Again.

_Blaine: __

_Kurt: _Yeah, you can look as innocent as you want and whistle as loud as you want, it's not going to change a thing.

_Blaine: _-_-zZ

_Kurt: _Don't think that's going to work either.

_Blaine: _=_=

_Kurt: _I can't believe it. I'm actually having a conversation with myself. I really am. This is ridiculous. BLAINE.

_Blaine: _*_*

_Kurt: _Good God.

_Blaine: _._.

_Kurt: _Seriously?

_Blaine: _ _

_Kurt: _I give up. On you.

_Blaine: _xOx

_Kurt: _What is _that_? It makes no sense. The others have, at least, some sort of form. Where are you getting these all from, anyway?

_Blaine: _?_?

_Kurt: _You are infuriating. WRITE SOME WORDS.

_Blaine: _-_o

_Kurt: _Someone with a black eye…? No. I refuse to play this game with you. It's pointless. Goodbye, Blaine.

_Blaine: _U_U

_Blaine: _~_^

_Blaine: _L_L ~zzz

_Blaine: _w

_Blaine: _=_=

_Blaine: _X_X

_Blaine: _[o]

_Blaine: _6.6

_Blaine: _o|o

_Blaine: _Kurt? Kurt. I'm done. Sorry. I know that annoyed you.

_Kurt: _Too little too late, darling. If you knew it annoyed me, why'd you continue with it?

_Blaine: _Cos it was funny? At the time, anyway. To see you annoyed.

_Kurt: _Well I'm glad you find me so _humourous. _And you can't see me on texts.

_Blaine: _No, no. Not like that!

_Kurt: _Hello Warbler. This is Rachel Berry. I just thought I'd tell you to stop worrying about this.

_Blaine: _1. My last name's Anderson, not Warbler. 2. Why? 3. Why should I even trust you?

_Kurt: _1. No comment. 2. Because he's laughing his head off. 3. Because I'm with him. If you want, I can get Mercedes to talk to you, if you trust her more.

_Blaine: _No, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I trust you… kinda.

_Kurt: _You are quite right to have doubts about trusting the midget. She thinks every other person is a spy, after all, and is determined to destroy all competition.

…

By blinding their sight with her hideous clothes.

_Blaine: _You've recovered.

_Kurt: _I have rather, haven't I? Just don't do the emoticons again, please? It annoyed the hell out of me. I can put up with the animals. They're fine. No emoticons. Plus, they're juvenile.

_Blaine: _Fine, fine. No more emoticons.

_Kurt: _Awwww, isn't this sweet. Now, boys, we need to kidnap Kurt for our SLEEPOVER. Remember? Sleepover? Not a 'Lets Text Our Significant Others Party'.

_Blaine: _Love you too, Mercedes.

_Kurt_: Offensive, Blaine. Offensive.

**A/N: Review? Remember, tell me which team you are! TEAM TEAM TEAM! **

**i.n.u. xx **


	13. Puck

**A/N: Hello! Off we go. **

**This is from llamallamallamaKLAINE. I thought if I put your prompts in a different story, then they'd both be short, so I combined them. :) Enjoy. **

**Also, chapters may be a little slower, 'cause real life (and a certain **_**very **_**ex-friend in them) is a bitch. So yeah. Cheers. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. Unfortunately. Wish I did, though. Wouldn't that be fun. **

_Kurt: _Blainers. Oi, Blainers.

_Blaine: _Yes…?

_Kurt: _Kurt's my boy, you know.

_Blaine: _Why do all of you NDs have such a problem with texting through your own phone? You all have my number, I distinctly remember giving it to you.

_Kurt: _Oh yeah… anyway. Kurt's my boy.

_Blaine: _Who are you?

_Kurt: _The Puckzilla.

_Blaine: _Hi, Noah.

_Kurt: _WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND MY FIRST NAME?

_Blaine: _You were saying?

_Kurt: _Oh yeah. Kurt's my boy. He's very important to me.

_Blaine: _Slightly creepy, but go on.

_Kurt: _And if you dare hurt him…

_Blaine: _You're not doing _this_ again, are you? Haven't you told me this once a fortnight since you met me at Rachel's party?

_Kurt: _You need to understand that if you crush Kurt's heart, I will crush your face!

_Kurt: _And Kurt's more than capable of taking care of himself. Hello, Blaine. Kurt again. Ignore that IDIOT.

_Blaine: _That would be very nice…

_Kurt: _What…?

_Blaine: _If it was actually Blaine on the other end of the phone, and not Wes and David.

_Kurt: _What did I do to deserve this? Wait… when did you steal it?

_Blaine: _After he sent the Rachel's party text.

_Kurt: _Great. What do you want?

_Blaine: _We come bearing gifts. Gifts you probably will be very interested in.

_Kurt: _That's doubtful. Anything involving you is trouble, and I'd prefer to steer clear, if that's quite alright.

_Blaine: _We come bearing un-dapper Blaine stories.

_Kurt: _If you have stories about Blaine being drunk – and I'm sure they make up the majority – you can forget those. I've already seen Blaine drunk.

_Blaine: _WHOA! WHOA! BACK UP. Blaine's been un-dapper in your presence? When did _that _happen?

_Kurt: _Rachel's party. He got drunk.

_Blaine: _He was always going on to us about how he had to keep up appearances around you, because you looked up to him as a mentor.

_Kurt: _Mmm. Didn't look very mentor-y when he collapsed in my bed.

_Blaine: _You forgot the best part, David. 'Because Kurt's _worth _it!' *tosses hair*

_Kurt: _You two are infantile and childish, and I want nothing more to do with you.

_Blaine: _Yeah, but Kurtie, you love us really.

_Kurt: _No, I don't.

_Blaine: _Yeah you do. Fine, fine. We'll scrap the drunk stories.

_Kurt: _Thank you.

_Blaine: _Out of interest, what's he like when he's drunk?

_Kurt: _Surely you know. You do have the drunk stories.

_Blaine: _Yeah, but we're only his friends. You, he's in luuuuuurve with. It might be different around you.

_Kurt: _Again, infantile and childish.

_Blaine: _Please answer the question, Kurt? Ignore Wes.

_Kurt: _Fine. Umm…clingy, mainly. Very clingy.

_Blaine: _No change there, then.

_Kurt: _If you're quite done.

_Blaine: _David? We have a flaw.

_Kurt: _Oh dear. That's a real shame, isn't it. Give Blaine his phone back.

_Blaine: _We only have drunk stories.

_Kurt: _Thought you might.

_Blaine: _BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD!

_Kurt: _Great.

_Blaine: _Hello Kurt. It's Blaine here, again. Ignore those idiots.

_Kurt: _I was planning on it, actually.

_Blaine: _Thought you might be.

_Kurt: _Yep. I'm sorry about Puck. He's a bit of an idiot.

_Blaine: _I'm sorry about Wevid. They're both complete idiots.

_Kurt: _Are you still pushing the belief that they're both in the closet?

_Blaine: _Oh yes.

_Kurt: _It's a good belief. :)

_Blaine: _I thought so.

_Kurt: _Well, I'm just going to go and find Wevid and see if I can't get some of those drunk stories out of them after all.

_Blaine: _OK. Wait! Whatdrunk stories?

**A/N: Bit shorter, I know, but I like it. This was fun to write. :D **

**Review? Or get on with your life. Either's fine. **

**i.n.u. xx **


	14. Permission

**A/N: Heya. I have an **_**IMPORTANT**_** announcement for you all, regarding prompts: NO MORE PHONE STEALING. **_**Please**_**. I really am sick of writing phone stealing. I do realise that this may probably be the end of my fic – the end of the prompts and all that jazz – but never mind. I **_**cannot **_**deal with another phone stealing prompt – they've just started to get boring to write. I'm really sorry to everyone who has phone stealing prompted me. :/ I still love you! **

**But I need prompts! Because I've written all the ones I have. I know. So, prompt! **

**This prompt is from ahathani. **

**Enjoy! **

**Enter some witty disclaimer about how I don't own anything here. **

_Kurt: _Dad's annoying.

_Kurt: _Dad's annoying.

_Kurt: _Dad's very very annoying.

_Kurt: _I don't think you understand how annoying my dad is.

_Kurt: _Why aren't you replying?

_Kurt: _This is not impressive, Anderson.

_Kurt: _You could write a book.

_Kurt: _You read enough of them.

_Kurt: _Do you know what this book would be called?

_Kurt: _I bet you don't.

_Kurt: _You don't, do you?

_Kurt: _I'll tell you.

_Kurt: _'How to end up on Kurt Hummel's black list'. Admitted, it's a long title.

_Kurt: _But it would be a bestseller. You could promote it with your dapperness.

_Kurt: _DAMN YOU ANDERSON WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING?

_Blaine: _Calm down Hummel. I was in class. You know, not all schools allow you so many free periods.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but you're doing a ridiculous amount of AP classes.

_Blaine: _It's a perfectly normal amount!

_Kurt: _It's really not, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Just because you find doing half an hour of work exhausting, doesn't mean everyone does.

_Kurt: _That's not true!

_Blaine: _Don't even try to deny it. We went to the same school, remember? I know how much you complain. :P

_Kurt: _OK, so maybe I complain a little. So what? Doesn't matter.

_Blaine: _Back to the point.

_Kurt: _What point?

_Blaine: _Why this conversation – as one sided as it was at first – started. Your dad.

_Kurt: _The annoying parent.

_Blaine: _Why?

_Kurt: _Well, you know the date we had planned for months and months and we were both looking so forward to…?

_Blaine: _You forgot to ask him, and he said no.

_Kurt: _How do you _do _that?

_Blaine: _It's your own fault. ;)

_Kurt: _You're meant to be on my side here!

_Blaine_: I am, trust me! It's still your own fault, though.

_Kurt: _How the hell is it my own fault?

_Blaine: _You're the one who forgot. I reminded you, plenty of times, to ask him, and you said 'I'll do it later'!

_Kurt: _I did, didn't I?

_Blaine: _Remind me again, where did that get you? :)

_Kurt: _Your intelligence is not appreciated. :P

_Blaine: _It's never appreciated. You just like winning. :)

_Kurt: _That's not true!

_Blaine: _It is. Don't you even try to deny it. You know it's true. :P

_Kurt: _Shut up. :P

_Blaine: _Clever retort you used there. Tell me, how long did it take you to come up with that one?

_Kurt: _Shut up. :P

_Blaine: _That too. :D

_Kurt: _Can we just get back to the matter in hand?

_Blaine: _Being your lack of capability to remember anything?

_Kurt: _Or not.

_Blaine: _Are you sure? Because if you really feel we need to discuss it some more, we'll discuss it some more. I don't mind.

_Kurt: _Bet you don't.

_Blaine: _I honestly don't. Discuss away.

_Kurt: _I don't think I will. :P

_Blaine: _Oh, really? What a surprise that is.

_Kurt: _I hate you. ;)

_Blaine: _Love you too.

_Kurt: _Anderson, do you know what you are?

_Blaine: _Your boyfriend.

_Kurt: _NO! Well, yes, you are, but on top of that, you are also annoying.

_Blaine: _Did that go the way you planned?

_Kurt: _No it didn't. For the record, I still hate you. :P

_Blaine: _By all means, hate away.

_Kurt: _Still hating you here. :P

_Blaine: _My previous statement still stands. Hate away.

_Kurt: _Fine.

_Blaine: _3…

_Blaine: _2…

_Blaine: _1…

_Kurt: _I still hate you, you know.

_Blaine: _Sure. That's why you're still texting me. ;)

_Kurt: _Yes it is!

_Blaine: _Did that make sense in your head?

_Kurt: _Not in the slightest. :(

_Blaine: _You really need to come up with better retorts.

_Kurt: _Just because you happen to have a brain the speed of light…

_Blaine: _Technically that's impossible. :)

_Kurt: _I don't care. I really don't.

_Blaine: _I didn't think you would.

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _The impressive retorts are making a comeback, are they? :)

_Kurt: _Shut up, Anderson.

_Blaine: _Can do.

_Kurt: _But you're not gonna.

_Blaine: _Nope. ;)

_Kurt: _I hate you.

_Blaine: _Still love you.

**A/N: Meh. Not my favourite. Anyway. The conversation? They're exactly the sort of things me and my friend Elizabeth say to each other. I'm serious. :) **

**Prompt! Please. **

**i.n.u. xx **


	15. Ramble

**A/N: This is another from ahathani. **

**So, I found out today that it's a rare day and my laptop is actually allowing FFN to load on it (yay). So, because I'm going to be away for a few days and won't have the opportunity to update, I'm giving this chapter to you early. **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own no characters, anything Glee related or any other brands mentioned below. **

_Kurt: _I'm worrying.

_Kurt: _More than worrying, actually. Very very scared.

_Kurt: _Well not scared. But getting close to it.

_Kurt: _You were scared too, weren't you?

_Kurt: _Sure you were.

_Kurt: _I've just remembered. You're in AP something or other now, aren't you?

_Kurt:_ Never mind.

_Kurt: _I'll just spam your inbox instead. :)

_Kurt: _This is really fun.

_Kurt: _More fun than it should be, really.

_Kurt: _No! Back to the point!

_Kurt: _What was my point…?

_Kurt: _Why am I asking you? It's not like you're actually there. Or reading these. Well when you do read them, that point will be moot. But as of right now… at 2:45, you're not reading them.

_Kurt: _My point!

_Kurt: _What was it…?

_Kurt: _I'm asking you again. I need to stop doing that.

_Kurt: _I do realise how rambly I'm being, but I have nothing else to do.

_Kurt: _Apart from panic. I'm doing an awful lot of panicking.

_Kurt: _You probably don't realise how panicked this whole evening is making me.

_Kurt: _And yes, you'll say in your usual dapper way, 'it's not a big deal, don't worry about it'.

_Kurt: _But it is a big deal. And I AM worrying.

_Kurt: _So don't you say a thing about that, Warbler.

_Kurt: _I do realise that I'm doing all the talking in this one-sided conversation, but still.

_Kurt: _It'd be a better use of my time – and money – to have a diary, wouldn't it?

_Kurt: _I don't care.

_Kurt: _This is more fun.

_Kurt: _I really want to see the look on your face when you unlock your phone and see 100+ unread texts from me.

_Kurt: _Moi.

_Kurt: _From moi. Moi is cool. And yes, my French is awesome, thank you for pointing it out so kindly.

_Kurt: _Don't say anything about the fact that you're not saying anything.

_Kurt: _And yes, I do realise I just contradicted myself. Thanks for that.

_Kurt: _You're still not saying anything.

_Kurt: _Of course you're not! You're in some clever AP class.

_Kurt: _Which one, I have no idea.

_Kurt: _I really hope your phone isn't on or you don't have it on vibrate, or I'm going to be getting you in a lot of trouble.

_Kurt: _But anyway. I'm getting off the point.

_Kurt: _Yes, believe it or not, I am texting you for a reason, not just to spam up your inbox. Though there is that bonus.

_Kurt: _Anyway. I'M PANICKING.

_Kurt: _I'm going mad here! THIS IS SO STRESSFUL.

_Kurt: _I don't care what you say – when you do say it – it's really stressful.

_Kurt: _You're Mr. Dapper, so nothing that affects us mere mortals has any impact on you whatsoever, but this is very very stressful.

_Kurt: _I don't know. EEEEEP.

_Kurt: _And yes, that was necessary.

_Kurt: _Very necessary.

_Kurt: _So very necessary.

_Kurt: _PANICKING.

_Kurt: _P

_Kurt: _A

_Kurt: _N

_Kurt: _I

_Kurt: _C

_Kurt: _K

_Kurt: _I

_Kurt: _N

_Kurt: _G

_Kurt: _STRESSING OUT HERE BLAINE.

_Kurt: _When you do get on your phone, I hope you have some remedy for all of this that doesn't contain the words 'down' or 'calm'. Because that will make me go all Kurt rage-y.

_Kurt: _And I'm sure you know how scary that is.

_Kurt: _Oui, I am modest.

_Kurt: _Anyway.

_Kurt: _This rambling is so fun. I see why you do it so often.

_Kurt: _Though of course, your rambling isn't as ditzy as this is.

_Kurt: _I don't care what you say. This series of texts is ditzy.

_Kurt: _Imagine if I sent you over 1000 words of rambling. That would be weird. And slightly sad. And Kurt Hummel is not sad.

_Kurt: _And no, I am not listening to Les Misérables as I write this. Or Wicked. Honestly.

_Kurt: _Truly. I promise.

_Kurt: _You probably don't believe me. I made that sound really suspicious.

_Kurt: _Actually, I'm listening to Barbra Streisand. Ha.

_Kurt: _I'm not sure why I said ha… I'm having an argument with myself…

_Kurt: _Again, I apologise for the flood of messages into your inbox. I really have nothing better to do.

_Kurt: _Apart from panic.

_Kurt: _BLAINE I'M FREAKING OUT.

_Kurt: _This is not good.

_Kurt: _This is really bad.

_Kurt: _This is really really bad.

_Kurt: _This is horrendously bad.

_Kurt: _I have no idea how to recover from this.

_Kurt: _And I'm talking about this evening. I didn't get a detention or a A instead of A+ in French or anything superficial like that.

_Kurt: _Can you touch type?

_Kurt: _Weird question, I know, but I need something to distract me.

_Kurt: _You seem like the sort of person who'd be able to touch type.

_Kurt: _Lots of people can BlackBerry touch type. I can't.

_Kurt: _I have an iPhone. I've never had a BlackBerry. That's why I can't BlackBerry touch type.

_Kurt: _I have no idea where this conversation is going.

_Kurt: _I'm just trying to distract myself.

_Kurt: _AAAAAAH FREAKING OUT OVER HERE.

_Kurt: _Because what if something goes wrong? You know how accident prone I am!

_Kurt: _I could break something, or smash a piece of antique glass, or burn the whole place down!

_Kurt: _Or maybe I'll just embarrass myself. That would work too.

_Kurt: _I always embarrass myself, though. That's not so bad.

_Kurt: _But if I burn the place down, I'll be sent to jail as an arsonist.

_Kurt: _I don't want to be sent to jail as an arsonist.

_Kurt: _Do you know how many years you get for arson?

_Kurt: _I don't. I don't think I want to, either.

_Kurt: _How long do you have to go to jail for arson?

_Kurt: _You're all-knowing dapper Blaine. You should know.

_Kurt: _I've got to go really soon.

_Kurt: _This is scary.

_Kurt: _I'm freaking out.

_Kurt: _I know I'm going to burn the place down.

_Kurt: _I'll be sent to jail for arson.

_Kurt: _This could be the last you hear from me in a good mood for a long time.

_Kurt: _Goodbye, Blaine.

_Kurt: _I love you.

_Blaine: _Kurt… you're just meeting my parents…

**A/N: Cos the prompt was about meeting parents. I love Rambling!Kurt. So much. **

**:) **

**Thoughts? **

**i.n.u. xx **


	16. Invitations

**A/N: Heya. **

**OK, now this is the chapter you get to learn why I needed those teams. It'll make perfect sense at the end, trust me. :) And I've explained it, in case it doesn't. **

**ALSO! I have a new fic up, called Comatose. Klaine, of course. ;) The basic storyline is Kurt gets in a coma, and everyone's coming to visit him etc. And yes, I know that the coma storyline been done **_**loads**_**, but mine's told from Kurt's POV. Because they're pretty certain (I think) that coma patients can hear everything that's happening, so… I don't think that's been done on ffn, so please go check it out if you haven't already. Thanks! **

**And. I don't like listening to released songs from the next episode, 'cause I think it spoils it somewhat, but this was in the promo, and I couldn't resist. So, I have to say, I **_**love **_**Glee's Last Friday Night. ****No****, who sings it hasn't influenced me whatsoever. Honest. **

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing. **

_Kurt: _Blaaaaaaaine.

_Blaine: _Yes?

_Kurt: _You know I love you, rigggght?

_Blaine: _Yes, I do possess that certain piece of knowledge.

_Kurt: _And you love me, riggght?

_Blaine: _Yes, I do.

_Kurt: _And you know that you probably love me more than I love you, riggggght?

_Blaine: _What do you want, Kurt?

_Kurt: _I could easily take offense at that, you know.

_Blaine: _Except you're obviously leading up to asking me for something. And you think I might say no, so you're buttering me up.

_Kurt: _Damn you.

_Blaine: _;) So, what was this elusive thing that you want?

_Kurt: _Well, there's this hotel in Lima…

_Blaine: _Yes, I know.

_Kurt: _And they've got this ballroom…

_Blaine: _Yes…

_Kurt: _And this weekend they're having this open evening thingy. With a dance. And I was _wondering_…

_Blaine: _You want us to go, don't you?

_Kurt: _Please?

_Blaine: _I'd love to, Kurt, I really really want to.

_Kurt: _Yesss.

_Blaine: _Sorry, accidentally hit enter too early there. Because there's this football game that's on at the same time. And I've had the tickets for weeks.

_Kurt: _Two of them?

_Blaine: _Yeah. I was wondering if you, as my wonderfully co-operative and all-round amazing boyfriend, would care to accompany me? Cos you don't go to games on your own. That just looks sad.

_Kurt: _Guess you're going to have to look sad then. I refuse to go to a football game. Who wants to watch muscly, sweaty men beat each other up chasing after a stupid ball? That's what violence films were invented for. So that we can watch it in the comfort of our own home. And go to dances as well.

_Blaine: _I want to watch, as you put it, 'muscly, sweaty men beat each other up chasing after a stupid ball'. Though it is a fairly accurate summary. Not the point! Please, Kurt? They do these balls every quarter! How often do I get to go to a _proper _football game live?

_Kurt: _I will not budge. You are coming to this dance whether you like it or not.

_Blaine: _No.

_Kurt: _I refuse.

_Blaine: _So do I.

_Kurt: _Then we're stuck.

_Blaine: _Yes we are.

_Kurt: _It looks so much more desperate going to a dance stag than it does going to a football game by yourself.

_Blaine: _Your dance is free. I've paid good money for these tickets.

_Kurt: _Sell them then.

_Blaine: _No! They're valuable!

_Kurt: _Keep them.

_Blaine: _But there's no point if I don't use them.

_Kurt: _Decide one or the other, Blaine, because there is no way they are going to be used.

_Blaine: _I never knew you were so pushy.

_Kurt: _I'm not pushy. I'm just determined that you're not going to get your way.

_Blaine: _Thanks.

_Kurt: _You're welcome. DANCE.

_Blaine: _FOOTBALL.

_Kurt: _Please, Blaine? Please come to the dance? Please?

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuurt.

_Kurt: _Please? It would mean a lot to me. An awful lot. Pleeeeeeeease?

_Blaine: _Kurt…

_Kurt: _I can hear the sigh in that. Blaaaaaainey.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuuurtey.

_Kurt: _Don't be like that.

_Blaine: _Not being like anything. No more than you.

_Kurt: _Unfair.

_Blaine: _What's unfair is you forcing me to spend money and then saying I can't go.

_Kurt: _I never told you to buy the tickets. And you still have to come to the dance.

_Blaine: _This is coercion. This shouldn't be happening, Kurt. This isn't the sign of a good boyfriend, you know.

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _Well thought out retort, that.

_Kurt: _Unnecessary.

_Blaine: _Au contraire, it was very necessary.

_Kurt: _You don't need to talk in French. We both know you're cleverer. No need to show off too.

_Blaine: _I have no idea where you've gotten that from, but I'll say it again. Still not true.

_Kurt: _Please come?

_Blaine: _Oh, very clever. Very good. Nearly got me there. But still, no.

_Kurt: _Blainnnnnnnnnne.

_Blaine: _Kurrrrrrrrrrt.

_Kurt: _Dancing is fun.

_Blaine: _So's football.

_Kurt: _No it's not.

_Blaine: _Neither's dancing.

_Kurt: _Stop trying to turn the argument around. It's not an argument.

_Blaine: _Nor is it an argument, but a discussion.

_Kurt: _Again with the cleverness.

_Blaine: _There is no intelligence gap between us.

_Kurt: _You got easy A*s in Dalton, and I never even saw you open a book.

_Blaine: _There is a difference between being clever and memorising lines from a textbook.

_Kurt: _Not really.

_Blaine: _Yes really. But this isn't the point. We're deciding which to go to.

_Kurt: _How about neither? That's the best compromise.

_Blaine: _Yeah, but…

_Kurt: _You've paid.

_Blaine: _Yeah.

_Kurt: _Actually, you know what? We'll go to the game. You deserve it.

_Blaine: _Oh, my God. Seriously?

_Kurt: _Yeah. I love you, Blaine.

_Blaine: _I love you too.

**A/N: I was gonna have a funnier ending, but I thought this fluffy one worked quite well. :D **

**Review? Mebbe? Hopefully. Cheers. And prompt. **

**Oh, also, if anyone's like my beta and haven't picked up on the teams, it was to see who wins. Could have gone either way, but there was one more vote for Blaine. ;) **

**So, I was looking through past chapters, and I realised I stopped replying to reviews. All I can say is whoops. **

**As apology, here we go. **

**DressandTie: Isn't he the cutest when he's rambling? I certainly think so. **

**Lgleek95: Thanks! I had **_**so **_**much fun writing it… probably too much than is healthy. But that's me. :)**

**Steffi Star: Haha thanks! You are one of my favourite people, I hope you realise, 'cause you review **_**every **_**chapter. Which is really quite awesome. **

**Vikki-Toria-94: Thanks. :) I adore Rambling!Kurt, I really do. **

**Imalemonadeaddictt: You're welcome. I **_**adore **_**writing it. **

**() [with no real name; your review was so thoughtful though.] : You're welcome. I do write a lot of suspense in my other stories, and in my original works as well, which is probably where that comes in. It's strange, everyone seems to love Autocorrect, and that really wasn't my favourite to write at all. Well… it was partly to do with the fact that I was nearly finished with it (6 pages) and my computer crashed. Then it took about two months to get my new laptop, and I couldn't be bothered to get around to doing it for ages, which may explain my dislike of it… I dunno. Sorry about the long reply – what can I say, I'm an author. ;) You're welcome! **

**polleygirl92: You're very welcome. :) **

**Gleekprojectforever: Thanks! And thanks for reviewing too. :) **

**becstarcatcher: Awwww, thanks! I do aim to please. Don't worry, I have 5 more after this written already, and if the prompts keep on coming in, there'll be a lot more. **

**Z Grilles: Thank you for the prompts! I tried writing Jealous!Blaine, but I really didn't work – but don't worry, I'm working on a one-shot to use that. It's getting there. Slowly. And sorry, but I'm afraid I draw the line at sexts. :/ Just not really… what I write. If that makes sense. Hope it does. But thank you **_**so much **_**for reviewing and prompting. I love my prompters, I really do. **

**PROMPT! **

**i.n.u.** xx


	17. Menu

**A/N: Heyhey, all. i.n.u. here again. :)**

**OK, so this one combines a prompt I got from ahathani and Steffi Star. Kinda. Steffi – I was stuck for what to do for yours, so I just stuck it in. It does apply! **

**Please continue prompting. I know there's not a wide range to do for this, but please continue. :) Cheers.**

**Also, I know I usually update on Sunday/Monday, but I'm going away Friday to Sunday, and I won't have a chance to update, and probably forget on Monday (plus ffn is working on my laptop, for once, so I'm taking advantage of that. ;)) **

**Anyway. **

**Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I own naught. **

_Kurt: _What are your thoughts on roast sirloin and Yorkshire pudding?

_Blaine: _Why…?

_Kurt: _Just answer.

_Blaine: _It's nice…

_Kurt: _Great! And ricotta or soup?

_Blaine: _What type?

_Kurt: _Soup? Or ricotta?

_Blaine: _Um… soup first.

_Kurt: _Roasted vegetable soup with walnut and sage pesto.

_Blaine: _… Sorry I asked. Ricotta?

_Kurt: _Homemade ricotta with basil, chili and lemon.

_Blaine: _You're putting too much though into this, darling.

_Kurt: _No, I'm not! It's important!

_Blaine: _Didn't Carole offer to do spaghetti bolognaise?

_Kurt: _Yes, but it's _your parents_. Your posh parents. We need to do something a bit more upper-class than pasta. Fancy stuff. Lovely fancy British stuff.

_Blaine: _How do you equate fancy with British?

_Kurt_: Just go with it, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Will do.

_Kurt: _OK. Or maybe something simple for the starter?

_Blaine_: You mean like melon and parma ham? That works.

_Kurt: _Don't be ridiculous. Simple is not melon and parma ham. That's just juvenile, considering who I'm catering for. Simple is lamb souvlaki skewers with tzatziki.

_Blaine_: Never even heard of that, Kurt. Go simpler. Melon and ham!

_Kurt: _I'm not doing melon and parma ham for your parents, Blaine. If you want it, just come earlier and I'll make you some.

_Blaine_: I don't want to impose…

_Kurt: _1. You practically eat everything in our fridge when you come round. 2. You say words like impose. Your parents are posh. Which is why I have to make such an effort with this.

_Blaine: _No, you don't. It doesn't matter. Honest.

_Kurt: _Yes, it does, Blaine, yes it does.

_Blaine: _No, it doesn't. Just because we live in a house that's different in size to you doesn't mean that we're more posh than you.

_Kurt: _I'll say it again. Yes it does.

_Blaine: _Mercedes lives in a bigger house than you.

_Kurt: _That's different.

_Blaine: _How? Kurt, please tell me. I fail to understand how it's different.

_Kurt: _Cos I'm not dating Mercedes and she's only got one extra room.

_Blaine: _On an extra floor.

_Kurt: _It's still only one extra room.

_Blaine: _And she has exactly the same number of floors as me.

_Kurt: _But you've got more surface area in your house.

_Blaine: _How do you _know _that?

_Kurt: _Cos I'm clever.

_Blaine: _Have you been reading up on our houses?

_Kurt: _No. But this isn't the point.

_Blaine: _What is?

_Kurt: _What I'm going to cook.

_Blaine: _Can I give you a piece of advice?

_Kurt: _Please. Please, please, _please _do.

_Blaine: _Pick up the phone and order some Chinese.

_Kurt: _But that's not suitable for meeting the parents!

_Blaine: _They love Chinese. It'll make them warmer towards you.

_Kurt: _But take-out is unclassy.

_Blaine: _They don't care. Trust me on this.

_Kurt: _Chinese take-out is unclassy.

_Blaine: _You can say that as much as you like, it's not going to change the fact that they love it.

_Kurt: _But I can't be unclassy!

_Blaine: _They still love it.

_Kurt: _But it'll be unclassy. I can't be unclassy in front of your parents.

_Blaine: _Look. You don't need to cook some fancy dinner. You just need to be you. Impress them. It's fine. Stop stressing about it.

_Kurt: _But you're rich. All rich people eat fancy dinners.

_Blaine: _And they'll eat less than half if it's fancy. They hate fancy stuff.

_Kurt: _Oh… right. Chinese it is, then.

_Blaine: _There you go. You need to stop being so paranoid. And also, get on the phone a.s.a.p., because we're only five or ten minutes away from your house.

_Kurt: _BLAINE!

**A/N: Hehehe. So yeah. **

**Girlbubble7991: Kurt is all kinds of adorable, isn't he? I agree! :) **

**Lgleek95: Thanks! Well if he can play in one, watching one should (in theory) be so much easier, shouldn't it? ;) Thanks for reviewing! **

**Everlasting Glory: You're welcome! Oh, I had so much fun with the animal names. I really enjoy writing them too, so it's great to see you love reading them as much as I love writing them. I invest probably too much time into this story, I really do. xx**

**Vega1301: Thanks! Yeah, but it really could have gone either way. :) Probably. **

**Steffi Star: Still one of my favourite people. Thanks. I loved writing that chapter, it really was brilliant to do. **

**ahathani: I love you. I love you I love you I love you. I'd just finished writing the last prompt I'd received, and then in comes your review. Amazing. Oh, and your ideas really are brilliant. Also, with the ending, it wasn't so much that I got bored, I just didn't know how to end it. But reading over it again, it does sound rather forced. Sorry about that. **

**tringelingetje: You're welcome! Yeah, I used to have an iPhone, and its autocorrect annoyed the hell out of me. Though, as I've said before, people have really taken to the Autocorrect chapter, when it was my least favourite to write. Strange. Anyway. :) **

**imalemonadeaddictt: Thanks! Yeah, I love that mental image too. Oh, don't worry, I am. I have five more chapters already written, one being written and five waiting to be written. So this should be going for a while, I think. **

**ThePianoWoman: Oooh, thank you! That's a good idea. :) Thanks. And Tony; I know! It really was a jerk move. And then Kurt apologises, and I really thought Blaine should be apologising as well. /end rant. OK, done. **

**lydia: You're welcome! No, definitely not, because I could hear it as I was writing it, and I hope that came across. ;) I know I watch too much Glee – probably too much than is healthy. Thanks! And thank you for reviewing. xx **

**Mawiiish: Thanks. :) Yeah, I really got no drunk prompts. Weird, non? Anyway, thank you **_**so**_** much for the prompt! The prompt:review ratio really is out of balance. I got 11 reviews for this chapter, and 3 prompts, including yours. So really, anything is welcome. ;) **

**Review and prompt? **

**i.n.u. xx**


	18. Dinner

**A/N: Hiya! **

**If you haven't already, please go and look at In The Loft's new Klaine one-shot, The Reasons I Love Him. It really is very beautiful, and worth the time spent reading it! **

**As (when I wrote this) I had no prompts left, so I went with a suggestion from my lovely beta. :) It's a continuation of last chapter. But also (kinda) similarly prompted by xXxShannahBunnyxXx and lydia: **_**Klaine could be texting each other during the meal, kurt's[sic] impressions, Blaine giving advice, Kurt being nervous, etc.**_

**If you can't remember, Kurt was stressing out because Blaine's parents were coming for dinner and he didn't know what to cook them, but aiming for something really high. Instead they settled with Chinese takeaway. **

**Recap out of the way, let's begin! **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own anything. **

_Blaine Anderson was about to say something when he felt his pocket buzz. Carefully sliding his phone out of his pocket, he saw the text. _

_Rolling his eyes at his grinning boyfriend, sitting opposite the table, Blaine started to tap out a reply. _

XxXxX

_Kurt: _Hello.

_Blaine: _Hello, Kurt.

_Kurt: _This is fun.

_Blaine: _What was the problem with talking to me?

_Kurt: _I am talking to you.

_Blaine: _Verbally talking. Not hitting your phone.

_Kurt: _I do not _hit _my phone.

_Blaine: _It's a touchscreen. You have to bang it. And get your mind out of the gutter.

_Kurt: _I wasn't even going there. You came up with it.

_Blaine: _Off the point. The point is the adults aren't paying attention to what we're saying. We don't need to text.

_Kurt: _But they might suddenly tune in. And it could be at a completely inopportune moment. So this is safer.

_Blaine: _And if they take the phone away? The evidence is right there; but in a conversation, we can claim they misheard it. It's more trouble than it's worth.

_Kurt: _Well stop texting me, then, and start a conversation.

_Blaine: _You're hopeless.

_Kurt: _Ha. I knew you wouldn't. I win.

_Blaine: _When was this a competition?

_Kurt: _It wasn't. I just made it one now.

_Blaine: _Not a very fair competition if only half know it's one.

_Kurt: _Pshhh.

_Blaine: _You're hopeless.

_Kurt: _Not hopeless.

_Blaine: _Yes, you are.

_Kurt: _No, I'm not.

_Blaine: _Yes, you are.

_Kurt: _No, I'm not.

_Blaine: _Yes, you are. And you're so very immature for starting this.

_Kurt: _You continued it.

_Kurt: _I know. I still worry.

_Blaine: _Touché.

_Kurt: _I know. So, how'd you like the Chinese?

_Blaine: _It's very good. Not as good as something you'd cook, but still very good.

_Kurt: _Suck-up.

_Blaine: _I know. Look. I told you they'd like the Chinese.

_Kurt: _But my dad's not allowed to have that much junk food.

_Blaine: _It's fine. You look after him really well. One evening's not going to kill him.

_Blaine: _I know you do. I love that about you.

_Kurt: _So you've said. So, you know how you were saying my phone could be taken?

_Blaine: _Yeah?

_Kurt: _I really don't want my dad to read where this conversation is going.

_Blaine: _No, nor do I. Your dad is _scary_.

_Kurt: _What? He's not. He's protective.

_Blaine: _No, he's just scary. Every time I come into the house, he gives me this knowing glare and it's _so scary. _

_Kurt: _I'm sorry that my dad scares you. I keep telling him not to.

_Blaine: _Really? Because I think you secretly egg him on, because you love seeing me terrified.

_Kurt: _Oi! Though it is fun to watch…

_Blaine: _Told you. You egg him on.

_Kurt: _I do not support my dad in intimidating my boyfriend. I prefer to keep both of them sane. And alive.

_Blaine: _Really?

_Kurt: _Yes. So I shall talk to him about that.

_Blaine: Thank _you.

_Kurt: _But it may not work.

_Blaine: _It's not like I'm in Westerville, Kurt. I can see every expression. Especially that grin.

_Blaine: _There it is again.

_Kurt: _I hate you.

_Blaine: _Sure you do.

_Kurt: _I'm going now.

_Blaine: _Really? Because we're sitting at the same table, and if you recall I'm staying the night. Remember?

_Kurt: _Damn you. :P

_Blaine: _;)

_Kurt: _I can't win, can I?

_Blaine: _Not really, no. Not in this circumstance.

_Kurt: _Again. Damn you.

_Blaine: _You love me, really.

_Kurt: _That is true. I do love you. Very, very much actually. Probably too much.

_Blaine: _Ruined it.

_Kurt: _I know.

_Blaine: _Silly Kurt.

_Kurt: _Wait…

_Blaine: _What?

_Kurt: _Either they're finishing up, or they've spotted us.

_Blaine: _How haven't they spotted we're texting?

_Kurt: _Unobservant? I really have no idea.

_Blaine: _No, nor do I, really.

_Kurt: _Oh, yes! They're done. RUN BLAINE RUN!

_Blaine: _… Kurt. Really?

_Kurt: _Yep. Really.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Kurt: _So. Blaine.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Kurt: _Peace at last.

_Blaine: _Put the phone away, Kurt. We're sitting next to each other. In your room. Alone.

_Kurt: _So…

_Blaine: _Kurt. Put the phone away.

_Kurt: _Fiiiiine.

_Blaine: _Thank you.

…

_Blaine: _KURT.

_Kurt: _Sorry.

**A/N: There we go. Prompt prompt prompt! **

**Girlbubble7991: Hahah. :) **

**Lgleek95: Oh, I had **_**so **_**much fun writing it. Probably too much fun. Thanks; your review really is much appreciated. :D **

**Bagting Hangin: Oh, I know. :) Blaine probably did too. But it would be just too cute to watch Kurt rushing around the house like a madman, trying to get everything together in time. And Blaine would be laughing. **

**mostdapper: You're too kind! Hope this met your expectations. :) **

**xXxShannahBunnyxXx: Oooh, there's an idea… trouble is, I have a lot of prompts, and am going through them systematically, so your prompt would only arrive in January. :D Not that it's a problem, but just so you know. :D **

**Lydia: Thanks for the prompt! Actually, when I was writing chapter 18, I had no prompts left, so my beta gave me one – and you just gave me the exact same one! Such a coincidence. :) **

**Nina: Awww, thanks! And thanks for reviewing – it really does help me move along as an author, and improve this fic and all my writing. **

**ahathani: You're welcome! Glad it did – that is generally the hope with these. :D Cool! Thanks. I'm still (very very slowly) trying to get through your last lot. **

**klaineforever369: Hey! You're welcome. :) I like the reference. :D Does it count as a reference? I'm not sure. *shrugs* **

**i.n.u. xx**


	19. Birthday

**A/N: Hi. :) **

**This one's from FutureStarkid. Enjoy. **

**It's my birthday today, so you lot should be so proud that I care enough about this fic to update this weekend (when I'm really quite busy). ;) **

**And also, I only just realised that I'd put the previous chapter up twice. Whooops. :) Sorry about that. But this is the one that should have gone up on Friday. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. **

_Kurt: _Sooooo…

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Kurt: _Hi.

_Blaine: _Hello.

_Kurt: _I was thinking…

_Blaine: _You can write more than three words, you know. It'll save you money.

_Kurt: _I know.

_Blaine: _Please do.

_Kurt: _Must I?

_Blaine: _Please.

_Kurt: _Well, in that case, I won't.

_Blaine: _You just did.

_Kurt: _Damn you. Anyway.

_Blaine: _Yes?

_Kurt: _You like music.

_Blaine: _No, I'm in the Warblers 'cos I get bored.

_Kurt: _Shut up.

_Blaine: _M'not talking.

_Kurt: _Your cleverness is not appreciated.

_Blaine: _Oh, really?

_Kurt: _Yes, really.

_Blaine: _If you say so.

_Kurt: _I do say so.

_Blaine: _Why don't you just stop repeating my texts and tell me what you want?

_Kurt: _I take offense at that, I'll have you know. I'm not a manipulative bitch all of the time, you know.

_Blaine: _Just most of the time.

_Kurt: _Oi!

_Blaine: _You called yourself a manipulative bitch first.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but you're the _boyfriend_.

_Blaine: _Yeah…?

_Kurt: _You're the boyfriend. That's your job.

_Blaine: _You still haven't made your point, I hope you realise.

_Kurt: _Do I have to spell it out for you?

_Blaine: _Evidently.

_Kurt: _Fine. You're the boyfriend. Whenever I insult myself, you're meant to say 'Of course you're not' and 'Stop putting yourself down like that!'.

_Blaine: _Realistically?

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _Mature, well thought-out response, that.

_Kurt: _Just answer.

_Blaine: _I asked you the question…

_Kurt: _Back to the point!

_Blaine: _You say that an awful lot. Often when you're losing debates.

_Kurt: _We're not debating.

_Blaine: _Yes?

_Kurt: _Yes. We are… we are discussing.

_Blaine: _Wouldn't debating be a better word?

_Kurt: _No. Absolutely not. Definitely not.

_Blaine: _Mmm hmm.

_Kurt: _Yes.

_Blaine: _So. Why exactly did this rambling conversation start?

_Kurt: _Ummm… oh yeah.

_Blaine: _Why do I get the feeling that if we were talking face to face, you'd have said that in a monotone?

_Kurt: _*shrugs*

_Blaine: _Oh, no. Do not resort to the asterisks, Hummel. That is _low_.

_Kurt: _How? Pray, explain to me Blaine, how is using asterisks low?

_Blaine: _Don't you know?

_Kurt: _Haven't a clue.

_Blaine: _Shan't tell you, then.

_Kurt: _Mature, much?

_Blaine: _Oh, yes. I am the epitome of maturity.

_Kurt: _Why don't I believe that?

_Blaine: _Cos you're silly.

_Kurt: _And you're 7?

_Blaine: _No, silly. I'm 6!

_Kurt: _Oh, real mature, Blaine.

_Blaine: _ I know.

_Kurt: _No, I totally see why you're getting As at Dalton.

_Blaine:_ You just used the word totally.

_Kurt: _And?

_Blaine: _Any comment about my intelligence has just been negated.

_Kurt: _Who says negated in normal conversations except you, Blaine? Seriously.

_Blaine: _Seriously, I like using words.

_Kurt: _So do I, but I don't show off about it.

_Blaine: _I don't show off!

_Kurt: _You're so easily insulted.

_Blaine: _M'not insulted.

_Kurt: _You are, don't even try to hide it. You're _so _insulted by me right now.

_Blaine: _How many times in the past 10 minutes have you typed 'so'?

_Kurt: _Dunno. Does it really matter?

_Blaine: _No, not really.

_Kurt: _Thought not.

_Blaine: _So.

_Kurt: _So.

_Blaine: _Why did you start texting me, anyway? We never actually covered that.

_Kurt: _Ummm… one second. I've forgotten.

_Blaine: _Of course you have.

_Kurt: _I don't think it was for any particular reason…

_Blaine: _Mmm hmm?

_Kurt: _Yeah. D'you like Chinese food?

_Blaine: _Why?

_Kurt: _Because I'm your boyfriend and I want to know everything about you. Duh.

_Blaine: _Never pegged you as someone to say duh.

_Kurt: _Didn't say duh. Typed it.

_Blaine: _Colossal difference.

_Kurt: _Oi. I'm meant to be the sarcastic ice queen in this relationship.

_Blaine: _Really, Kurt? _Really_?

_Kurt: _Yes, really. Got a problem?

_Blaine: _Oh, no. None at all.

_Kurt: _Good. I should hope not.

_Blaine: _Right.

_Kurt: _I should probably get back to the point.

_Blaine: _Ah yes. Why you texted me in the first place. You ramble a lot.

_Kurt: _I know.

_Blaine: _And yes, I haven't forgotten the surge of texts you sent me a few weeks ago. Because you were meeting my parents.

_Kurt: _Sorry bout that. I was freaking out slightly.

_Blaine: _I didn't notice.

_Kurt: _I'll say it again, there's only room for once sarcastic ice queen.

_Blaine: _Really, Kurt? _Really_?

_Kurt: _Yes, Blaine. Really.

_Blaine: _You're hopeless. Absolutely hopeless.

_Kurt: _So you've mentioned before. A few times. More than probably was necessary.

_Blaine: _And we're still not on the point.

_Kurt: _Nope.

_Blaine: _Is there a particular reason why you're procrastinating so obviously?

_Kurt: _Yep.

_Blaine: _Are you going to tell me it?

_Kurt: _Nope.

_Blaine: _Thanks.

_Kurt: _You're welcome.

_Blaine: _You're ever so helpful.

_Kurt: _I know. Ooh! I have a joke. If pro is the opposite of con, then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

_Blaine: _… actually, that was quite funny.

_Kurt: _I'm insulted.

_Blaine: _It was hilarious, Kurt darling.

_Kurt: _Better.

_Blaine: _And I love you.

_Kurt: _I know you do. I love you too. I'm still not telling you what's going on.

_Blaine: _Damn you.

_Kurt: _;)

_Blaine: _I hate you sometimes, I really do.

_Kurt: _And I still love you. So it's all good.

_Blaine: _Is it?

_Kurt: _Yes.

_Blaine: _Why?

_Kurt: _Because I say so.

_Blaine: _Alright then.

_Kurt: _Yes. It's very alright then. It's more than very alright then. It's the epitome of alright thens.

_Blaine: _… _what_?

_Kurt: _Just go with it.

_Blaine: _Kay.

_Kurt: _Kay…

_Blaine: _Please don't go into a long rant about 'kay'. I don't think my already frazzled brain can handle it.

_Kurt: _Yeah, you protest that you're not posh etc, and then you say frazzled.

_Blaine: _How does my vocabulary affect my wealth? It's non-sequitur.

_Kurt: _On the contrary, it is very sequitur.

_Blaine: _Average people don't just slip 'sequitur' into the conversation, though. Your argument is refuted.

_Kurt: _Yes, but one, you just said refuted, and two, you said non-sequitur first.

_Blaine: _You really enjoy this arguing with me, don't you?

_Kurt: _It's debating.

_Blaine: _It's contradicting. You're not coming up with new arguments. You're just saying 'no' essentially. To everything. If it wasn't so endearing it would be _seriously _annoying.

_Kurt: _You find me annoying?

_Blaine: _Put the pout away. I have copyright on puppy dog eyes and any other faces related to it.

_Kurt: _We're texting.

_Blaine: _You were pouting, I know you were. Don't even try to deny it.

_Kurt: _So what if I was?

_Blaine: _See? I know you too well.

_Kurt: _Are you sure that's something to be proud of?

_Blaine: _It's something to be _very _proud of.

_Kurt: _Oh. Alright then.

_Blaine: _Seriously, Kurt! When can I find out what's going on?

_Kurt: _I don't know. Soon. Maybe. Per'aps.

_Blaine: _You're not British. Why'd you say 'per'aps'?

_Kurt: _Didn't say it. Texted it.

_Blaine: _Same difference.

_Kurt: _Wellll…

_Blaine: _It is the same difference.

_Kurt: _So what if it is?

_Blaine: _Where are you going with this, exactly?

_Kurt: _Stop answering my questions with questions.

_Blaine: _You shouldn't care, really. You're just procrastinating. I bet you're not even paying attention to the conversation.

_Kurt: _I pay attention to every conversation we have.

_Blaine: _Just so you can have some ammo in verbal battles.

_Kurt: _Noooo!

_Blaine: _You so do. Or otherwise to know what to get me for Xmas/birthday.

_Kurt: _Well there is that. But doesn't the fact that we're boyfriends come into it at all?

_Blaine: _Apparently not.

_Kurt: _So yeah.

_Blaine: _That made no sense.

_Kurt: _You make no sense.

_Blaine: _… _what_?

_Kurt: _I don't know. I'm floundering.

_Blaine: _That's such a brilliant word. But we both know you're trying to keep something from me. So why can't you just tell me?

_Kurt: _I could, but that's no fun.

_Blaine: _Yeah. Right. Kurt, please!

_Kurt: _Do you know what you are, Mr. Anderson?

_Blaine: _This is another cheap crack, isn't it? No, I don't.

_Kurt: _No need to sound so resigned.

_Blaine: _We're texting. You can't convey emotion.

_Kurt: _You can with smileys. But this is off the topic, and this is actually important! And not a joke.

_Blaine: _Oh? Then, pray continue.

_Kurt: _You are one of the best damn actors I've ever met.

_Blaine: _Where's that come from?

_Kurt: _Please. It has gotta sting.

_Blaine: _What has?

_Kurt: _OK, you can stop now. I know you're insulted.

_Blaine: _Nope.

_Kurt: _How are you… never mind. Just… open the door.

_Blaine: _The door is open.

_Kurt: _Walk out of the common room to your dorm and open the door.

_Blaine: _Right.

XxXxX

_Kurt: _Get it now?

_Blaine: _I wasn't acting. I knew you wouldn't forget my birthday. And you were planning something. Didn't take a genius to put two and two together.

_Kurt: _I love you.

_Blaine: _I love you too. So much. And thank you. For today.

_Kurt: _xx

**A/N: I couldn't resist that ending. I've ben reading too many fluffy fics. But those two are **_**so adorable**_**. **

**Ignore my weird fangirling. So yeah. Hope you enjoyed, and review! (PS Longest chapter yet, at 9 pages! Yay!)**

**Girlbubble7991: Thanks. :) **

**Lgleek95: Thanks! I had **_**so much fun **_**writing it. :) **

**WaitingForAKiss: Thanks for the prompts! Actually, you're only the second person to request drunk!Kurt/Klaine. :O I really expected it to come sooner, but you know… :D And Team Kurt all the way! :D Bet you are. ;) **

**Steffi Star: Thanks! :D (Despite the fact I take German & French, not Spanish. ;)) Hope you enjoyed. **

**suga123: You're welcome! Was my pleasure to make you laugh. Thanks for reviewing! :D **

**Silentnightsxx: Fluff is essentially a fanfiction that doesn't go anywhere, or is just really sweet in general (to my understanding). That could be completely wrong, but whatever. ;) **

**Jcat4ever: Thanks! I'm glad that my fic has been the exception to the genre for you. :) I loved writing it, so glad it's gotten that reaction! xx **

**i.n.u. xx **


	20. Calculus Part 2

**A/N: Hi everyone. I'm back! **

**This is from Z Grilles: **_**Calculus. **_

**Yeah, I've started putting the prompts in now. I dunno why. I just am. ;) **

**Also, (SPOILERS FROM 3X06) I felt **_**so bad **_**for Santana. She's always been one of my favourite characters, and that eppie just… :'(. **

**Anyway, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I own naught. **

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blainers.

_Kurt: _Blainers.

_Kurt: _Blainie.

_Kurt: _Blainie.

_Blaine: _Yes, Kurt?

_Kurt: _No need to sigh like that.

_Blaine: _I'm not sighing. We're texting. As you've taken the care to point out so many times, you can't show emotions over texts. Unless you include smileys or the like.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but your wording and the tone that comes through is so sigh-y.

_Blaine: _Sigh-y, Kurt? Really? Of all the adjectives in the English language, you had to go with the one that doesn't exist.

_Kurt: _William Shakespeare invented over 1000 words.

_Blaine: _William Shakespeare was a literary genius.

_Kurt: _Offensive.

_Blaine: _You know what I mean. Do you ever intend to write plays, or books, or anything like that?

_Kurt: _Not in so many words.

_Blaine: _Well then. And that made no sense.

_Kurt: _I think you'll find it made perfect sense.

_Blaine: _No, it really didn't.

_Kurt: _Yes, it really did.

_Blaine: _No it didn't.

_Kurt: _Oh, look. Quinn dyed her hair.

_Blaine: _Your pathetic attempts to try and distract me shall not work this time around. No sir.

_Kurt: _I have one word to say to you. Zyzzyva.

_Blaine: _That's 9 words.

_Kurt: _You counted it?

_Blaine: _Technicalities are important.

_Kurt: _Not as important as you always make them out to be.

_Blaine: _Oh really? Yet, without them, the English language would be a shambles.

_Kurt: _So would any language. But that's not the point!

_Blaine: _What is the point?

_Kurt: _What if there isn't one?

_Blaine: _Why did you text me, Kurt?

_Kurt: _I can't remember.

_Blaine: _Great. Well, while you waste your phone credit or whatever, I've got work to do.

_Kurt: _Oh yeah! I remember!

_Blaine: _Funny that.

_Kurt: _Oi. I've said it three times, and I'll say it again. I'm the only sarcastic ice queen in this relationship, so you'd better suck it up and walk it off.

_Blaine: _Are you ever going to let go of that?

_Kurt: _Probably not, no.

_Blaine: _Great. Thanks. Just needed to know.

_Kurt: _Yep. :)

_Blaine: _You drive me crazy, you know that?

_Kurt: _Yep. :)

_Blaine: _Gonna say anything else?

_Kurt: _Mebbe. :)

_Blaine: _OK. So what was this texting stream about, exactly?

_Kurt: _You're so technical. Using terms like stream.

_Blaine: _Thanks… I think. Kurt! Off topic!

_Kurt: _So?

_Blaine: _Get back on the topic.

_Kurt: _Fine. I need help.

_Blaine: _With what?

_Kurt: _Calm down, Blaine. I can tell you're starting to panic. It's _nothing_.

_Blaine: _Yeah, but you said Karofsky was nothing, and he _sexually assaulted _you.

_Kurt: _It's homework.

_Blaine: _Oh.

_Kurt: _I told you it's nothing. Except, if I don't get this grade for the semester, that could bring down my GPA, and if I'm going to get into _any _New York uni I've got to have a really high GPA, and so this could potentially be a nightmare.

_Blaine: _What subject?

_Kurt: _Calculus.

_Blaine: _Ah.

_Kurt: _Yeah.

_Blaine: _The most pointless of the lot.

_Kurt: _I know.

_Blaine: _So.

_Kurt: _So. I need help.

_Blaine: _I know.

_Kurt: _And I'm talking to you.

_Blaine: _I know.

_Kurt: _And I'm approaching you with my Calculus problem.

_Blaine: _I know.

_Kurt: _Are you going to help?

_Blaine: _I might do.

_Kurt: _For someone who has such high praises, you are extraordinarily unhelpful?

_Blaine: _What kind of praises?

_Kurt: _So egotistical.

_Blaine: _Just curious.

_Kurt: _Oh, how you're such a good teacher, how you helped raise people's letter grades, that kinda thing.

_Blaine: _Nothing about my singing?

_Kurt: _Stop pouting.

_Blaine: _:P

_Kurt: _I know you so well.

_Blaine: _Yes you do.

_Kurt: _CALCULUS!

_Blaine: _See? It's annoying.

_Kurt: _What's annoying?

_Blaine: _And now we're suspicious.

_Kurt: _Yes, I'm suspicious. It's like you set this all up. Except that's impossible, because you can't have influenced my Calculus teacher's decision to give us this particular piece of homework.

_Blaine: _I have my ways.

_Kurt: _No, Blaine. I refuse to believe you have any influence over my teachers at WMHS.

_Blaine: _That's how much you know.

_Kurt: _No. I refuse.

_Blaine: _Refuse all you like.

_Kurt: _I am, don't worry.

_Blaine: _Oh, good.

_Kurt: _Yeah.

_Blaine: _So, ain't it annoying?

_Kurt: What_? What the hell are you going on about, Blaine? Please enlighten me, because I have no idea.

_Blaine: _Oh, you know.

_Kurt: _No, I really don't.

_Blaine: _I'm sure you do.

_Kurt: _Trust me, Blaine, I don't.

_Blaine: _Oh really?

_Kurt: _Yes, oh really.

_Blaine: _Are you sure about that? Like, really really sure?

_Kurt: _Yes, I'm really really sure.

_Blaine: _Are you completely certain?

_Kurt: _What are we even talking about?

_Blaine: _You know, I actually have no idea.

_Kurt: _So I'm not the only one, then. OH MY GOD.

_Blaine: _Has the penny dropped?

_Kurt: _You're procrastinating! You're getting me back for your birthday texts!

_Blaine: _Yes, it appears it has.

_Kurt: _That's so _not fair_, Blaine. I had to do that, because it was a surprise. This could potentially affect what university I get into, and would you want that on your conscience, if I didn't get into Julliard or something? Really?

_Blaine: _Just because I don't help you with one tiny bit of homework doesn't mean you won't get into the university of choice.

_Kurt: _Yes, it does, because I might not get the GPA I need, and it will all go down the drain.

_Blaine: _Very doubtful.

_Kurt: _It's not! It's not very doubtful! Please, just help. I'm scanning the textbook now.

_Blaine: _You're emailing it to me.

_Kurt: _And I'm opening Gmail.

_Blaine: _You're so emailing it to me.

_Kurt: _And I've sent you the email. PLEASE HELP.

_Blaine: _Knew it.

_Kurt: _Please, Blaine! Look, I'm begging. I'm begging you to help me with my homework.

_Blaine: _Well if you put it so nicely…

_Kurt: _I have. I've been asking and _asking_, and I really need this, so Blaine, as my boyfriend, and as the only person – apparently – who will love me unconditionally, please help me with Calculus.

_Blaine: _Aren't you just too adorable?

_Kurt: _Ah! Thank you. :)

…

_Kurt: _BLAINE LUKE ANDERSON. You had the answers the _entire _time? You evil, evil person.

_Blaine: _;) Happy to help.

**A/N: So yeah. I had so much fun writing this. **

**I have way too much fun writing prompts where they're annoying the hell out of each other. :D **

**In The Loft: Hola! :) Thank you. Even though twas just a review for the sake of reviewing. :D Oooh! Me likey. :) *cries* TOO MUCH TO WRITEEEEE. **

**Girlbubble7991: Thanks. :) **

**Slytherins Dragon123: Thank you! And thank you for the review too. :) Please keep on reviewing and reading? xx **

**Silentnightsxx: Yeah, sorry about that. :) But I'll be the first to admit that I'm slightly mad, and that's where that came from. :)**

**Steffi Star: Sorry about that. It was just a bit of me letting out my inner spaz, I think. ;) **

**FutureStarkid: Thanks! Oh, that's good to know. Really, **_**really **_**good to know. :) **

**Review? **

**i.n.u. xx**


	21. Trittens

**A/N: Hi! M'back again. Oh joy. :) **

**Again, from Z Grilles, but I've combined two into one: **_**Trains **_**and **_**Kittens**_**. **

**Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Apart from the story. No characters, nothing copyrighted whatsoever. **

_Kurt: _Hiya.

_Blaine: _Hello Kurt.

_Kurt: _This is cool.

_Blaine: _This was unnecessary.

_Kurt: _I felt like doing it.

_Blaine: _I'm exhausted already, and we just got on.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but that's cos you were driving.

_Blaine: _Because of your mad idea.

_Kurt: _It wasn't mad!

_Blaine: _If it wasn't, this certainly is.

_Kurt: _We did it a few weeks ago.

_Blaine: _And it was as mad then as it is now. Does your dad even know?

_Kurt: _Course he does. He'd get so angry at me if I didn't tell him, and then murder you.

_Blaine: _Even though it was your idea, I get the worse punishment? How on earth does that work?

_Kurt: _You're the boyfriend. Blame defaults to you.

_Blaine: _Thanks.

_Kurt: _I'm just explaining how his mind works. Don't kill the messenger.

_Blaine: _How am I – you can only really kill the messenger through tone. Seeing as we're texting, there is no tone.

_Kurt: _How long is this going to go on for? You can convey some tone through cybercommunications.

_Blaine: _Cybercommunications? Really?

_Kurt: _You said it to.

_Blaine: _I repeated you. There's a difference.

_Kurt: _Not really. I repeat you all the time.

_Blaine: _Your point is…?

_Kurt: _Never mind.

_Blaine: _Oh, good.

_Kurt: _I hate you sometimes. I really do.

_Blaine: _Sure you do. Keep on saying that to yourself, and it might come true.

_Kurt: _You do not suit the sarcastic persona well.

_Blaine: _I rather think I do.

_Kurt: _No you really don't.

_Blaine: _Yes I really do.

_Kurt: _This is childish contradiction.

_Blaine: _Oh, very.

_Kurt: _Your maturity has been compromised.

_Blaine: _You sound like a robot from some sci-fi.

_Kurt: _That was intentional.

_Blaine: _If you say so.

_Kurt: _Honestly, it was.

_Blaine: _Yeah. Sure.

_Kurt: _Disbelieve away. It still was.

_Blaine: _I shall disbelieve away, I shall.

_Kurt: _Now who sounds weird?

_Blaine: _I never said you sounded weird. Though you did. I compared you to a robot from a sci-fi. Your point is invalid, as I didn't sound like a robot at all. Rather, a child from an 80s film.

_Kurt: _I didn't say that either, though that is what you sounded like.

_Blaine: _I know. _That _was intentional, and I can prove it, because I can trace it back to the origin.

_Kurt: _Your brain?

_Blaine: _You know what I mean.

_Kurt: _I do. But still.

_Blaine: _There is absolutely no but still in this instance.

_Kurt: _Yes, there is.

_Blaine: _We are not having another contradiction war.

_Kurt: _War?

_Blaine: _Yes, war.

_Kurt: _When did it turn into a war?

_Blaine: _Twenty seconds ago. When I first called it one.

_Kurt: _Them.

_Blaine: _?

_Kurt: _Literate. But we've had more than one, so the singular pronoun is invalid.

_Blaine: _Posh.

_Kurt: _Still very literate. But :P

_Blaine: _Mature.

_Kurt: _No, ice queen.

_Blaine: _That makes no sense.

_Kurt: _It did to me.

_Blaine: _I can tell.

_Kurt: _Yeah. AWWWWWW.

_Blaine: _It's just a cat.

_Kurt: _No, you don't understand. It's a _kitten_, it's 3 months old and it's _adorable_.

_Blaine: _It's just a cat, Kurt. An animal. If you wanted one, really really wanted one, you could get it.

_Kurt: _Finn'll kill it somehow. We can't.

_Blaine: _Fair enough. But it's still just a cat.

_Kurt: _Look at it, Blaine! Look into its big eyes! It's so cute! SO CUTE.

_Blaine: _I stand by my point. It's a cat.

_Kurt: _But it's adorable!

_Blaine: _Go over and talk to her, then.

_Kurt: _Don't wannaaaa. You do it.

_Blaine: _I don't care about the stupid cat. She can see you making faces at it. She won't mind.

_Kurt: _She might! She might be the reincarnation of Cruella de Vil!

_Blaine: _Wasn't Cruella de Vil puppies?

_Kurt: _That's not the point, Blaine! She could be taking that cat to be slaughtered! Oh my god we have to save it!

_Blaine: _Kurt. Stop it. I can see you freaking out about it.

_Kurt: _That kitten could die! It's too adorable to die!

_Blaine: _The kitten's not going to die. You're working yourself up. Calm down. By the way, why are we texting while we're sitting next to each other on the train?

_Kurt: _I don't know. SHE'S GOING TO KILL THE KITTEN.

_Blaine: _She's not going to kill the kitten.

_Kurt: _Stop sighing at me, Anderson. And don't roll your eyes.

_Blaine: _OK, let's talk about the train.

_Kurt: _If you want. BUT SHE'S GONNA KILL THE KITTEN.

_Blaine: _Please stop thinking about the kitten. I just need to get this straight. I drove us three hours to the Cleveland train station, and we're now on a train to wherever, and this was just on a whim?

_Kurt: _That is correct.

_Blaine: _Great. Just checking.

_Kurt: _No need to be so sarcastic. AND SHE'S GONNA KILL THE KITTEN.

_Blaine: _She's not going to kill the kitten.

_Kurt: _We have to save it! She's gonna cut it up and wear it!

_Blaine: _That's very unlikely. I think you took Disney a bit too seriously.

_Kurt: _It's only three months! It has the rest of its life to look forward to, and she's going to snatch it away!

_Blaine: _Why don't you go up and ask her?

_Kurt: _Because she could kidnap me too! And you know how much time I spend on my skin!

_Blaine: _OK, Kurt, put the coffee down. You've had a bit too much.

_Kurt: _No I haven't. Blaine! Save the kitten!

_Blaine: _The kitten doesn't need saving. It really doesn't.

_Kurt: _Yes it does.

_Blaine: _Trust me. It doesn't. That kitten's probably very well looked after, and has a good home, and if you stole it Finn would just step on it.

_Kurt: _That is true. Please, Blaine! You can save it! You can take it home!

_Blaine: _I hate cats.

_Kurt: _EVIL.

_Blaine: _… _what_?

_Kurt: _There is evil afoot.

_Blaine: _…

_Kurt: _It is the truth.

_Blaine: _Seriously, Kurt. Put the coffee down. I don't think it's helping your brain. At all.

_Kurt: _Yes it is.

_Blaine: _Somehow, I really doubt it. Coffee. Give it to me.

_Kurt: _No!

_Blaine: _Kurt.

XxXxX

_Blaine: _Kurt, please tell me you didn't steal the kitten.

_Kurt: _Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.

**A/N: There we go. :) **

**Review! Prompt & review! Please? **


	22. Directions

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back. **

**From ahathani (I got a whole bucketload from her, so the next six chapters or so will be her prompts): **_**Blaine prepares for Kurt (or vice versa, your choice) a little birthday surprise and sends him texts with instructions on how to get to it. **_

**I can't believe how close we are to 200 reviews! :O Tell you what. The 200****th**** reviewer (or the person closest who actually prompts) will get their prompt pushed to the top of the list and written for the next chappie. :) Oui? Oui. Let the fun begin. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Blaine: _Kurt answer your phone.

_Blaine: _Kurt this is very very rude.

_Blaine: _Kurt, I am offended.

_Blaine: _Kurt, you are rumoured to have your phone on you at all times. This isn't living up to that at all.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuuuurt.

_Blaine: _Kurt you need to answer.

_Blaine: _Kurt this is important. Well.

_Blaine: _It's quite important. You should answer anyway.

_Blaine: _KUUUUURT.

_Blaine: _If you're with Mercedes, I'm going to _kill _her.

_Kurt: _Calm down. I was with my dad.

_Blaine: _Oh good.

_Kurt: _What did you want?

_Blaine: _Ummmm.

_Kurt: _Blaine, you did not just make my phone explode for no good reason.

_Blaine: _You've done it loads.

_Kurt: _That's not the point.

_Blaine: _What is the point then?

_Kurt: _That you're annoying.

_Blaine: _Not really a valid point.

_Kurt: _Yes it is.

_Blaine: _Maybe to you. But not in the grand scheme of things.

_Kurt: _Please stop going on about the grand scheme of things. It's getting old.

_Blaine: _I've mentioned it twice.

_Kurt: _In one day!

_Blaine: _That really doesn't make it old.

_Kurt: _It's old to me. And therefore, it does.

_Blaine: _Do I want to contest your logic?

_Kurt: _Definitely not.

_Blaine: _You're such a winning whore.

_Kurt: _Offensive.

_Blaine: _Don't care.

_Kurt: _Humph.

_Blaine: _Mature. Real mature.

_Kurt: _That's my specialty.

_Blaine: _I can tell.

_Kurt: _So, why were you pestering me earlier?

_Blaine: _Huh?

_Kurt: _You were destroying my phone. Why, exactly?

_Blaine: _Oh, right. Where are you?

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _This is going somewhere, promise. Or rather, you are.

_Kurt: _What?

_Blaine: _Just answer the question. Where are you?

_Kurt: _In my room.

_Blaine: _Good. Leave the house.

_Kurt: _What?

_Blaine: _Walk out of your room, down the stairs and through the front door.

_Kurt: _I know what you meant. Why?

_Blaine: _You'll see. Just do it.

_Kurt: _Alright…

_Kurt: _Done.

_Blaine: _Get in the car.

_Kurt: _Blaine. Explain.

_Blaine: _All will become clear very soon.

_Kurt: _It better do, Blaine, it better do.

_Blaine: _Get in the car.

_Kurt: _OK. Done.

_Blaine: _Get the engines running.

_Kurt: _As much as I love your step-by-step instructions, Blaine, I'm not an idiot. I know how to start and drive a car. If you give me the address, I can get there by myself.

_Blaine: _That would ruin the surprise. I shall just have to direct.

_Kurt: _Please, don't. The last time you tried to direct, we ended up in Illinois. I still don't know how, nor do I want to.

_Blaine: _That was a one-off.

_Kurt: _Mmm. I don't want it to happen again, though.

_Blaine: _I'm not telling you the address.

_Kurt: _Or just bring up Google Maps. But, _please_, don't tell me yourself.

_Blaine: _Your lack of faith is astounding.

_Kurt: _Your lack of capability in navigation is astounding.

_Blaine: _That really didn't work.

_Kurt: _I know.

_Blaine: _Are you in the car?

_Kurt: _Yes. And my dad thinks I'm mad, as the engine's been running for 10 minutes.

_Blaine: _OK. So first, it says, head east on OH-81 East Findlay Road.

_Kurt: _Can you just give me the directions all in one go? So I don't kill myself looking at my phone? And even if I did get out alive, you'd skin me alive for putting my life at risk. Or something.

_Blaine: _I just don't want you to be killed. Is that really such a big request?

_Kurt: _'Spose not.

_Blaine: _Good. So you do the East Findlay Road, then turn left on the I-75 towards Toledo.

_Kurt: _Toledo?

_Blaine: _Do you want these instructions or not?

_Kurt: _You're the one giving them to me.

_Blaine: _That's not the point.

_Kurt: _I think you'll find it is exactly the point!

_Blaine: _No, it's really not.

_Kurt: _Yes, it really is.

_Blaine: _No, it's not.

_Kurt: _I refuse to have this conversation with you.

_Blaine: I_ refuse to have it with _you_.

_Kurt: _I refused first.

_Blaine: _So?

_Kurt: _Just so we're clear.

_Blaine: _That made no sense, Kurt. Absolutely none whatsoever.

_Kurt: _Neither do you.

_Blaine: _What?

_Kurt: _DIRECTIONS.

_Blaine: _OK. So I-75, then exit 130 for Bluelick Road.

_Kurt: _Bluelick Road? I swear that's…

_Blaine: _No questions. We are maintaining a militarian state.

_Kurt: _Since when?

_Blaine: _Since now.

_Kurt: _OK then.

_Blaine: _You better just accept it.

_Kurt: _I have. Can we move on?

_Blaine: _Already moved on, darling. We moved on a long time ago.

_Kurt: _Evidently not, because I'm still there.

_Blaine: _You're getting caught in the past. Isn't it time you moved on?

_Kurt: _But that's what I just… never mind.

_Blaine: _Right! And then you turn right onto East Bluelick Road.

_Kurt: _Doesn't Tina live on East Bluelick Road?

_Blaine: _Nope. She doesn't. She lives on North Bluelick Road, silly.

_Kurt: _There is no North Bluelick Road…

_Blaine: _Yes there is. You're delusional.

_Kurt: _I've lived in Lima my whole life. That's 17 years. Trust me. There is no N Bluelick Road.

_Blaine: _Yes there is. Maybe you shouldn't be driving. You're obviously sleep deprived.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _Just drive, Kurt.

_Kurt: _Fine. I don't know where you're going with this, and I don't necessarily like it.

_Blaine: _I didn't say you had to necessarily like it. I said you had to drive. And if you're driving, which I just _know_ you are, you need to put the phone away.

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _Mature. KURT. Focus on the road!

_Kurt: _Stop texting me then.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt: <em>No need to take it so literally.

_Blaine: _Just drive.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt: <em>Ha. I told you there was no N Bluelick Road. I'm right.

_Blaine: _I know there's no N Bluelick Road. I was distracting you from the fact that Tina does, in fact, live on E Bluelick Road.

_Kurt: _I hate you.

_Blaine: _After I put all this together for your birthday? Offensive.

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _Fine then. I won't try so hard next time.

_Kurt: _I was just kidding. :)

_Blaine: _Suck up.

_Kurt: _xx

**A/N: Yeah. :) **

**Prompt and Review! **

**SweetAngelIAm: Thanks! I completely forgot to reply to reviews last chapter, so take this (belated) one as an apology. And I have no intention of stopping in the foreseeable future. **

**Pottergirl1: Haha. Thank you! Though that's really strange, because my beta is also madly obsessed with Harry Potter (really, past the point of it being healthy), and she didn't catch that… I dunno. I've told her off (well… tutted at her over IM. Same thing.) Thanks for pointing it out – but I'm lazy so it probably will stay wrong forever. Don't worry about it, I can take concrit, you know. I am a reasonable person. I don't bite. ;) Thanks! Yes, that was corny. No, I really don't care. Thanks for the review! Please continue. **_**Please**_**. I don't have that many regular reviewers. :( **

**Seb James: You have no idea how much me and my beta and another Gleek/fanfic author laughed at your name, in correlation to everything that's happening in the Klaine plot. ;) So yeah. Just thought I'd share that. **

**GirlInTheMirror121: Oh, my God. When I saw 'Facebook', I squealed, I cannot lie. The thought that my fic has made it onto some sort of fame like that, however small, really is overwhelming… my parents also probably think I'm raving loony, but whatever. ;) Thanks for reading (and thinking it's worth spending half an hour of your life on :D). Oh, go ahead. Request all you like. It's how I spend my Sunday afternoons, so the more prompts I have backed up, definitely the better. ;) **

**Ninja Giraffe: 1. I love your username. It's really epic. :D and 2. Yes, that was because of StarKid. Well done for spotting it! **

**D.H. Spy: Hahah! Thanks for the prompts! (at least someone is.)**

**ScorpioGirl1987: Thank you! Also, thank you for just putting words, because it gives me so much more flexibility you have no idea. **

**i.n.u. xx **


	23. Commentary

**A/N: Hi! I'm back! **

**From ahathani: **_**Kurt is having a "Girls Night Out" with the gals while Blaine is at home preparing for a big test. Kurt and the girls go to a movie (horror, thriller, romcom – your choice. Twilight? xD) and Kurt shares his thoughts with Blaine from the movie theater. No phone stealing. **_

**My competition still stands – 11 to go to 200! This is really **_**really **_**exciting. :) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Kurt: _Hi Blaine!

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Kurt: _Whatchoo doing?

_Blaine: _You know perfectly well what I'm doing.

_Kurt: _D'you know what I'm doing?

_Blaine: _Yes, I do. And I know you're only texting me to gloat.

_Kurt: _Don't you wish you were here?

_Blaine: _Not really, no.

_Kurt: _:O Not want to spend time with your boyfriend?

_Blaine: _No. I don't want to spend my evening with 5 squealing, hyper, hormonal teen girls. And also Rachel Berry.

_Kurt: _Don't let her see that you've given her her own category. Her ego doesn't need any more inflation.

_Blaine: _I wasn't planning on it, funnily enough.

_Kurt: _Oh, good.

_Blaine: _And make sure to remove all fluffy seals from the vicinity.

_Kurt: _:P You're not funny at all. I don't know who put the idea in your head that you were.

_Blaine: _I think that was you, actually.

_Kurt: _So I only have myself to blame?

_Blaine: _Essentially, yep.

_Kurt: _I hate you. I really do.

_Blaine: _Oh, really? You might wanna think that one through, because I'm not sure I wanna go out with someone who hates me. ;)

_Blaine: _I'm just gonna assume your silence to mean that you can't come up with a suitable retort. Which is very impressive, and means I can be proud of myself.

_Kurt: _No – I just had to help Carole with something.

_Blaine: _You keep telling yourself that, and it might come true.

_Kurt: _You are just too annoying sometimes

_Blaine: _Walk then.

_Kurt: _I ca – oh, Rachel's getting on my case for not paying attention.

_Blaine: _I was wondering when that would happen.

_Kurt: _You hypocrite, Blaine. You hypocrite.

_Blaine: _Um… how?

_Kurt: _I dunno. I've been wanting to call you a hypocrite for ages. You've just never given me the opportunity to.

_Blaine: _Should I be worried? After all, I've just found out my boyfriend's been wanting to insult me for ages.

_Kurt: _Depends how you take it.

_Blaine: _Yes, I am well aware of that. You didn't need to remind me.

_Kurt: _OH MY GOD. That's scary. That is scary.

_Blaine: _What?

_Kurt: _Whose decision was _that_?

_Blaine: _Ah. Course.

_Kurt: _I didn't even tell you.

_Blaine: _You're having a 'Girls Night Out'. Rachel's getting annoyed at you because you're distracted. You've just called something scary, and it was someone's decision. You're most likely watching a film, and so if you are, then the only true thing that'll be scaring you – unless it's a horror – will be the outfits. If it was a horror, then 'whose decision was _that_' would make no sense. And so, the costume department put someone into something truly hideous – by your standards anyway.

_Kurt: _One, that was a long text. Two, damn you.

_Blaine: _It was necessary. It didn't take me that long to type.

_Kurt: _Rachel Berry is throwing stuff at me. Ow. That one hurt.

_Blaine: _Maybe stop texting me? I think that's the general message she's trying to get across.

_Kurt: _Yeah, well why can't she just ask me like a _normal human being_.

_Blaine: _Key word being normal.

_Kurt: _Argh. You are not helpful, you hear me? Not helpful at all!

_Blaine: _Love you too.

XxXxX

_Kurt: _OK, so they reached an unanimous decision – i.e. without my consent – that we now watch Mean Girls.

_Kurt: _Yay.

_Kurt: _OK, past the titles.

_Kurt: _I was there.

_Blaine: _Where?

_Kurt: _No friends.

_Blaine: _Kurt…

_Kurt: _Doesn't matter. SHHHHH.

_Blaine: _Right.

_Kurt: _I told you. SHHHH.

_Kurt: _He is hot… but not as hot as she keeps saying he is.

_Kurt: _And Regina is such a Santana.

_Blaine: _Are you really gonna narrate the whole film? Cos I do have Calc revision to do.

_Kurt: _SHHHHH.

_Blaine: _What…?

_Kurt: _SHHHHH.

_Blaine: _But I'm not… speaking…

_Kurt: _SHHHHH.

_Kurt: _Such a Santana. And Cady is so Rachel. And she's really weird.

_Kurt: _That's a recipe for disaster.

_Blaine: _What is?

_Kurt: _That Hallowe'en party. They all are.

_Kurt: _Does it really matter that much, Regina, which side Gretchen's on? _Really_?

_Kurt: _That skirt makes her seem like such a slut.

_Blaine: _OK. Are you actually paying attention to me?

_Kurt: _That'll never work. Tutoring at her boyfriend's house, who she already knows you like. That doesn't look suspicious at all.

_Blaine: _No? Didn't think so.

_Kurt: _Sarcasm.

_Blaine: _Who, me or you? Actually, does it matter… we're both using it, after all.

_Blaine: _And I know. I can tell.

_Kurt: _Oh, that is rock bottom. That… that's even worse than Hallowe'en. Really, she is an idiot. And Lindsay Lohan is just… no.

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Kurt: _Sneaky. Evil, but sneaky, and very very clever.

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Kurt: _Oh, likely. Likely. Actually, you know what, it is. Knowing the Cheerios, that might happen. Probably wouldn't, but it could.

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Kurt_: Seen it a million times, but that bus is still a shock.

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Kurt: _Well she does kinda deserve that. Not gonna lie.

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Kurt: _They're so obviously going to kiss. So stereotypical. But very very very cute. Adorable.

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Kurt: _Done!

_Blaine: _You sure?

_Kurt: _Very. What were you saying?

_Blaine: _You didn't notice?

_Kurt: _Nope. Was a bit caught up in the movie.

_Blaine: _And yet managed to tear yourself away from it long enough to text me regular updates?

_Kurt: _Don't ask, Blaine. Just don't.

_Blaine: _You know, I really wasn't planning on it. You're strange enough as it is.

_Kurt: _'Fensive.

_Blaine: _Who's getting lazy?

_Kurt: _Shut up. Just because I get tired texting quicker than you do.

_Blaine: _Who said I didn't get tired?

_Kurt: _Oh, right. You just pretend.

_Blaine: _Pretty much, yeah.

_Kurt: _I hate you sometimes. Have I said?

_Blaine: _I believe that has cropped up once or twice, yes.

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _Love you too, darling. Love you too.

**A/N: Yay! Another one done! I do realise I'm ploughing through these, but I do have a lot of prompt to answer, which really seem to be growing by themselves every time I open the document I keep them all in. :/ Definitely not helped by my 200 competition, but the more the better, really. I'm complaining about nothing. :D **

**bookster1: Seriously, it's fine. :) Reviewing is enough. :D I just thought that having a prompt written would be more incentive to review. So yeah. ;) **

**Seb James: Hahah. You have no idea how much I laughed at that! Thanks! :D **

**SweetAngelIAm: Yep, I looked it up. Bluelick Road exists in Lima. :) I have this real issue with making sure everything's accurate, and I must have spent 20 minutes on Google Maps researching last chapter. :D **

**GirlInTheMirror121: That never occurred to be in the slightest. :) But in hindsight, it would have been good to put in. Not that it matters, I think the chapter still worked well. :D **

**Pottergirl1: Yeah… let's not question that one. Thanks! As I said before, I take everything on board. No biting here. :) Oooh! Thank you (and thank you for writing the plot for me too. ;) ) I still have 11 to go to 200, so if no-one in those 11 reviews (or another 11 past 200) prompts, then you will be chosen. So yeah. Thanks for reviewing! **


	24. Injury

**A/N: Hi! **

**From ahathani: **_**Kurt hurts a foot during ND dance practice and texts Blaine from the ambulance/hospital/bedroom/optional. Some hysteric freaking out Blaine please! **_

**By the way, I'm going to Florida for 2 weeks, and I have no idea if I'll have Internet, or even if I'll have my laptop with me, so this might be the last you get for two weeks. Sorry! Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

_Blaine: _I'm outside McKinley. Where are you? xx

_Kurt: _Ah. Blaine. See. Something happened. Nothing to worry about, though! I'm fine.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Kurt: _Yes? I promise you, I'm fine. I'm more than fine. I'm exceedingly fine. :)

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Kurt: _I can hear the disapproval in your texts, Blaine, I really can. But there's nothing to be worrying about, honest.

_Blaine: _Kurt, just tell me.

_Kurt: _Oooh, is that cheesecake?

_Blaine: _Stop procrastinating, Kurt. I know what you're doing, and it won't work. Trust me. It's not going to work.

_Kurt: _Good cheesecake. Oh, by the way, could you call Dad and ask him to bring me Cabaret or The Sound of Music or something like that?

_Blaine: _Where to? And why?

_Kurt: _He'll know. And because I'm bored.

_Blaine: _You're not at McKinley are you?

_Kurt: _Well.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Kurt: _Here's the thing. We've just come back to the beginning again.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Kurt: _Funny how that happens.

_Blaine: _KURT.

_Kurt: _Hi. :)

_Blaine: _Spill. Now.

_Kurt: _But I really don't want to, because you'll just worry and stress and I don't want you .

_Blaine: _I can handle it. Or, seeing as I'm talking to your dad, I could just ask him. That would be a whole lot easier.

_Kurt: _No! No, you don't need to do that at all.

_Blaine: _And then he'd start wondering why you hadn't told me, and if there was a lack of trust in our relationship, and whether he should just intervene… I can see you paling now.

_Kurt: _You know me too well. However, I know that you wouldn't dare to go to Daddy Hummel. :P

_Blaine: _Says who?

_Kurt: _Oh, please. You're terrified of him. I can tell. There's this certain look in your eyes, and your dapper-meter always zooms up when you're around him.

_Blaine: _Or maybe that's to stop me getting kicked out?

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _Kuuuuurt. C'mon. Tell me. I'm just freaking out over here.

_Kurt: _You don't seem to be, if you can make jokes. But… just to calm you down – THAT'S ALL THIS IS – I'm in the hospital.

_Blaine: _WAIT – HOSPITAL?

_Kurt: _Stop stressing! You've been in the hospital before.

_Blaine: _Yeah, but that's different. I was there because my cousin wanted me to be there when they took off her cast. Not for me. So it's different.

_Kurt: _Your argument is stupid.

_Blaine: _Kurt, seriously. You might have appendicitis or something, and then you tell me it's nothing, and I think that it's just a strained knee or whatever, and if you do get seriously ill, you'll say again that it's nothing again, and everything will descend into dark matter.

_Kurt: _Isn't that to do with Physics? And isn't it impossible for something to 'descend' into dark matter, anyway?

_Blaine: _Kuuuuurt.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Blaine: _Kurt. Tell me. Please.

_Blaine: _KURT.

_Blaine: _Kurrrrrrrt. This isn't funny. I'm sure you're laughing on the other end, but I'm freaking out, and how do you feel about the fact that you're stressing me out over here? Isn't your conscience worried at all?

_Kurt: _Not really, no. You'll get over it. Trust me, it's nothing. D'you want to talk to my dad? Or Carole? They'll confirm it.

_Blaine: _I'd take Finn any day, frankly.

_Kurt: _Finn's not here.

_Blaine: _What? Why?

_Kurt: _For crying out loud, Blaine. Because he's still in rehearsal.

_Blaine: _What happened to you in rehearsal?

_Kurt: _Where'd you get that from?

_Blaine: _The way you phrased that last. It sounded like you hurt yourself in rehearsal.

_Kurt: _That's not the point.

_Blaine: _It's exactly the point. Was I right?

_Kurt: _Yes, but…

_Blaine: _But nothing. What happened in rehearsal? What did Mr. Schu do? Because I swear, sometimes I don't know how he got the teaching spot there, I really don't.

_Kurt: _It's a public school, it doesn't exactly have the same staffing standards as Dalton, especially with Figgins at the wheel.

_Blaine: _That doesn't matter, Kurt! Not with y- students' lives potentially in their hands.

_Kurt: _You can say 'your', you know. I know you obsess over me. No point in hiding it.

_Blaine_: I do not _obsess_! Anyway, as good as this procrastination is, don't think that I can't see through it. Oh yes, Sir Hummel. Yes, I do. Why are you at the hospital?

_Kurt: _ I don't wanna tell you, cos you're just gonna freak out.

_Blaine: _I'm already freaking out. Telling me really would calm me down, you know.

_Kurt: _No, it's fine. Look, calm down. I'll tell you when I come out of the hospital, because it really isn't worth you stressing over it, Blaine, it isn't. Worst I'll get is a cast.

_Blaine: _Yeah, but I still want to be with you. And I'm still stressing out about it, because a cast means you've broken a bone, and I know first-hand how painful that can be.

_Kurt: _Seriously, it's fine. Blaaaaine.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuuuurt.

_Kurt: _Do you really want to know?

_Blaine: _Yes, I really want to know. This is the point I've been trying to get across for the past half hour!

_Kurt: _Fine. I'm in Lima Memorial because we were doing this dance routine, and I guess I must have been trying a bit too hard, because I did this jumpy thing and landed on the outside of my foot too hard. Broke my 5th metatarsal.

_Blaine: _Oh, right.

_Kurt: _See! I told you it's nothing to stress about.

_Blaine: _Yes, I know… but it's not exactly my favourite thing to hear you and Lima Memorial in the same sentence, I hope you realise.

_Kurt: _Just trust me when I tell you it's nothing? Please?

_Blaine: _Kurt…

_Kurt: _I promise, if it's anything worse than a break, if I have to have any surgery, I'll tell you. Promise.

_Blaine: _Good.

_Kurt: _Bunnyyyyy.

_Blaine: _…

_Kurt: _Bunny go hop hop byeeeee!

_Blaine: _Um… Kurt?

_Kurt: _Bunny and froggy go hop hop hop! Froggy go bounce bounce. But bunny go hop hop byeeeee!

_Blaine: _What?

_Kurt: _Hi, Blaine. This is Burt Hummel. I'm sorry about the above two texts. He just got put on a few painkillers, and Kurt's never responded well. Don't worry, he's safe in the car now. Carole's driving, so you don't need to worry about that. I'll get him to call you tomorrow, yeah?

_Blaine: _Yeah. Thanks, Mr. Hummel.

_Kurt: _Anytime.

**A/N: I couldn't resist a little drugged up Kurt. And I'll admit that those lines were a little too much fun to write. ;) **

**Gold Stars Are Kinda My Thing: Yeah, essentially. I have a doccie full of prompts. 200****th**** reviewer (or closest who prompts) gets theirs on a fast track to the top of the list. If that makes sense. :) Thanks!**

**Smart Yet Dumb Brunnette: Yeah, quite a few times actually. I watched it again to get the play-by-play accurate. Really, I just wrote responses to scenes in Kurt form, then later worked in Blaine and the rest of the conversation around that. It's a good film. Funny. Do watch it. **

**Pottergirl1: Nope, sorry, we're still on 195. :) I've seen that! It's brilliant. Have you seen Glee-AVPM? It's **_**brilliant**_**. **

**imalemonadeaddictt: I've been trying to come up with something Christmassy… seriously, nothing. Also, 'cos I happen to be going to Florida, I literally have no time. Sorry! Take my 3x09 one-shot as consolation? **

**Review? Prompt? **

**i.n.u. xx **


	25. Presents

**A/N: I'm back! Yay! I didn't have a chance to update while away, and I got two Christmas prompts (this was the special 200 reviewers prompt – which I'm SO HAPPY for getting to, thank you, **_**everyone**_**!), so they got instant priority, seeing as otherwise the second Christmas one would have been posted in March or something. :) But I'll be getting back to the natural order soon enough. **

**Also, just letting you know, this inspired such a surge of prompts, I'm considering doing a similar comp for every 100 reviews… :) **

**This is from Gold Stars Are Kinda My thing: **_**Soo, I have ideas for a christmasy [sic] like chapter! It could be where like, Kurt can't think of anything to get Blaine (since he practically has everything already, with his super-rich parents and all) and so he's texting Blaine trying to get hints, and Blaine's being annoying like how people do saying "I don't need anything but you and your love" and Kurt's all like frustrated and so then Blaine's mom takes Blaines [sic] phone and is like "If you really want to get him something, sing him a song. I'm not supposed to know this, but I've read his journal before. Apparently one of his biggest romantic fantasies is for you to serenade him." and its [sic] all awww and fluffy and kurt [sic] sings him something… Oh! Like I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Or something like that. Yeah. :D and what Blaine gets Kurt is a promise ring? Or something. Yeah. **_

**Cheers for giving me the whole storyline. :) I'll just translate it into texting form, shall I? ;) **

**Hope you had a happy _ ! (fill in what you celebrate here)**

**Disclaimer: I own naught. **

_Kurt: _Christmas.

_Blaine: _Yes?

_Kurt: _Christmas.

_Blaine: _Oui. Christmas.

_Kurt: _It's Christmas soon.

_Blaine: _At the end of the month. Yes, I know.

_Kurt: _Your past Christmases have been fruitful, haven't they?

_Blaine: _If you mean I got lots of expensive stuff, then yes.

_Kurt: _So I have a lot to live up to, then.

_Blaine: _What? No! I don't know where most of those presents are now. I don't want any of that from you, OK? Just you.

_Kurt: _That's what they all say.

_Blaine: _They all say they only want Kurt Hummel for Christmas? :O _Kurt. _What have been getting up to?

_Kurt: _Not like that. *virtually slaps you* I mean they all say they don't care about presents, but I know for a fact Puck has bought Quinn expensive diamond earrings. Among other things.

_Blaine: _Wait. Go back. Virtual _slap_?

_Kurt: _Yeah! Don't you have them at Dalton?

_Blaine: _Can't say we do…

_Kurt: _It's like FB poking. Only on text.

_Blaine: _And more violent?

_Kurt: _How is it violent?

_Blaine: _Slap? How is that not violent?

_Kurt: _But it's fine, 'cause it's only words.

_Blaine: _But so is someone calling you a fag, and that is _never_ fine. Never.

_Kurt: _Point taken. I won't virtually slap you any more, OK?

_Blaine: _Yeah… sorry about that. Anyway – what were you saying?

_Kurt: _I was talking about you privileged upbringing.

_Blaine: _Oh yes. By all means, carry on.

_Kurt: _You know what, Blaine? I'm just gonna come out and say it.

_Blaine: _Be my guest.

_Kurt: _What do you want for Christmas?

_Blaine: _…Wow. That was… unexpected. Look, Kurt, frankly I don't care. Christmas is great and all, but I could really do without all the commercialism of it all?

_Kurt: _English?

_Blaine: _I don't care.

_Kurt: _That's not the point!

_Blaine: _It is for me. Put it this way. Because of my family and their materialistic tendencies, every Christmas and birthday they've given me expensive stuff.

_Kurt: _Great.

_Blaine: _Wait! That's never been what I wanted. The traditional Christmas story is the birth of Christ. Mary and Joseph had nothing. Jesus was put in a _manger, _for God's sake. The only thing they had going for them was love.

_Kurt: _Yeah…

_Blaine: _Presents are nice, and all that, but I'd rather spend Christmas with the person I love, alright? You.

_Kurt: _Alright.

_Kurt: _I'm still getting you something.

_Blaine: _Didn't you pay attention to what I was just saying? I don't want _anything_.

_Kurt: _And despite all your complaints, I happen to know that on top of your dresser is a shoebox taped shut. And inside that shoebox is a meticulously wrapped Christmas present. And on the label of the present is 'To Kurt, with love. Yours forever, Blaine. x'

_Blaine: _How the hell do you know that?

_Kurt: _I have my means. O.o

_Blaine: _You talked to my mom.

_Kurt: _Yessir.

_Blaine: _Thought you might have.

_Kurt: _But then this puts us in a position of inequality. Because you will spent doubtless a lot on whatever's in that shoebox – something that's intrigued me to no end, because what the hell have you put in there – and here you are saying that I shouldn't get you anything.

_Blaine: _Because I really don't want anything from you!

_Kurt: _I refuse to listen to anything you're saying on this anymore. You're a _hypocrite_.

_Blaine: _…

_Blaine: _Well that was unexpected.

* * *

><p><em>Blaine: <em>Kurt? You there?

_Kurt: _Yeah. What's wrong?

_Blaine: _Nothing! This is Laurie Anderson. Blaine's mother? I know that this is probably illegal on some level and classed as invasion of privacy, but I also know that he can be exceedingly awkward about getting presents.

_Kurt: _Yes, he can!

_Blaine: _Do you want my advice?

_Kurt: _Yes. I really, really do.

_Blaine: _Don't get him anything. If you do, and after he'd made this much fuss about it, he'll start to resent it slightly – he's too polite to ever say anything about it. But still, it'll be there.

_Kurt: _Oh. But he's gotten me a present, and, like I said to him, it would make us unequal.

_Blaine: _He really doesn't care about getting something in return. But seeing as you're so determined to get him something… sing.

_Kurt: _Sing?

_Blaine: _Yeah. I shouldn't really know this, seeing as it's a real violation of privacy (I seem to be doing that an awful lot, don't I? – violating his privacy, that is.), but once Blaine had been writing in his very manly journal (diary), I did flick through a few pages. There was nothing incriminating, don't worry – but your name _did _crop up an awful lot ;). Anyway. He did write that one of his biggest romantic fantasies is for you to serenade him.

_Kurt: _You know, Mrs. Anderson, I'm going to ignore half of what you just said, but thank you.

_Blaine: _You're going to sing to him, then?

_Kurt: _Yes. I'm going to sing to him.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt: <em>Blaine. That was _way _too much for Christmas.

_Blaine: _Not when it comes to you.

_Kurt: _Stop it. Yes it is.

_Blaine: _You're so sweet. But I know Mom talked to you. 1) I can read it above – and I need to talk to her about all the snooping around she's doing – but 2) there's no way you could have come up with serenading you with 'I'm Yours' by yourself.

_Kurt: _Offensive.

_Blaine: _You know what I mean. The whole song – the dance spectacular isn't really you.

_Kurt: _I beg to differ.

_Blaine: _Not in a more intimate setting.

_Kurt: _I take your point. Merry Christmas. I love you forever. You don't need to put a promise ring on me to prove that – though it's really appreciated.

_Blaine: _:) Merry Christmas, Kurt.

**A/N: Yeah. Kay. :) **

**Another Christmas chapter coming shortly! **

**Smart Yet Dumb Brunnette: Yeah, I know, but at least I was still writing! – to be fair, it was more one-shots than this story, and also my own original novel, but **_**still**_**! Here you go. Enjoy. Another one's coming sooner than usual, because they're on the same theme and it's Epiphany today, meaning Christmas is over. :( **

**GirlInTheMirror121: Of course it does go up! Ooh, thanks! You may not see it written for a while, 'cause I'm getting really bad with this story, but still. **

**Vikki-Toria-94: I really feel your pain. My dad gets the **_**worst **_**man-flu ever. He gets a tiny cold, then parks himself in front of the TV with an army of ice cream tubs, and just generally being pathetic. :/ **

**Gold Stars Are Kinda My Thing: That's fine – I won't lie, I've done that too! ;) Hope you enjoyed this! **

**bookster1: Oooh, I like it! I'm actually working on that right now, cos it was the only other seasonal prompt I got, so yeah. Hopefully that'll be going up in a couple of days. Maybe Monday? **

**Review? **

**INU xx **


	26. Christmas Day

**A/N: OK! Here's the other Christmas themed (or holiday, whatever you want. Though it's very Christmas-oriented) chapter. **

**And then we're done for another year. :( **

**From bookster1: **_**…was thinking – from a chrimbly chapter – you could do one where there [sic] both at their own homes and just text it [sic] each other with a practically running commentary of the day. And maybe Burt could steal Kurt's phone and text Blaine to tell him to stop texting his son it was christmas [sic] and he was ignoring his family? Or something x. **_

_Blaine: _Kurt!

_Blaine: _Kurt!

_Blaine: _Kurt!

_Blaine: _Kurt!

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuuurt!

_Blaine: _Kurt! Answer! I need to tell you something!

_Blaine: _Something important. It's of great importance.

_Blaine: _Kurtsie!

_Kurt: _What, Blaine?

_Blaine: _Merry Christmas!

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _Hi Kurtsie!

_Kurt: _Was that your important message?

_Blaine: _Yep!

_Kurt: _You're hopeless, you know that? Merry Christmas, darling.

_Blaine: _No, Kurt! No, no, no. Don't say that! No!

_Kurt: _Why not?

_Blaine: _Cos it's a sad song!

_Kurt: _Yes. Yes it is. What's the matter?

_Blaine: _What if that's foreshadowing to what's going to happen next Christmas?

_Kurt: _… Blaine, honey, aren't you being a little paranoid? Anyway, isn't foreshadowing just in relation to literature?

_Blaine: _But what if we're just characters in a play, being manipulated by someone's pen, and that really was foreshadowing?

_Kurt: _How much chocolate have you had today?

_Blaine: _… Some…

_Kurt: _Honestly.

_Blaine: _At least 3 oz?

_Kurt: Blaine! _

_Blaine: _Sorry! It was just… there.

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _You still there, Kurtie?

_Blaine: _Kurtie?

_Blaine: _Of course you're not. It's Christmas. Stupid Blaine.

_Blaine: _Ow. That hurt.

_Kurt: _We've been through this before, Blaine. After calling yourself stupid, it's _not _a good idea to hit yourself.

_Blaine: _Oh yeah.

_Kurt: _You're an idiot.

_Blaine: _I know. Owwww.

_Kurt: _Blaine!

_Blaine: _Sorry. Forgot.

_Blaine: _Kurtieeeeeeee.

_Blaine: _Kurtieeeeeeee.

_Blaine: _KURTIE! Answer meee!

_Kurt: _What is it?

_Blaine: _It's Christmas!

_Kurt: _I know.

_Blaine: _Present time!

_Kurt: _Blaine?

_Blaine: _Yeah?

_Kurt: _I'm trying to cook here.

_Blaine: _Oh, sorry. Where's Carole?

_Kurt: _Appeasing Finn.

_Blaine: _Finn's big. Like a giant! Finn's a giant… giant.

_Kurt: _Having a little trouble distinguishing between dunk and hyper Blaine here.

_Blaine: _Aww, Kurtie! Poor stumped Kurtiekins.

_Kurt: _Yes. Poor stumped Kurtiekins. Bye Blaine!

_Blaine: _Kurtie?

_Blaine: _Nothing?

_Blaine: _OK.

_Blaine: _Cool.

* * *

><p><em>Blaine: <em>Whoa… It's _like _I was drunk, except I can remember everything. And my head doesn't hurt.

_Blaine: _And I'm not throwing up. _That _I'm thankful for.

_Kurt: _Yes…

_Blaine: _Sorry about that.

_Kurt: _Please tell me you don't actually believe we're characters in a book. Do you?

_Blaine: _No, don't worry. :) I did when I was five, but I don't anymore.

_Kurt: _Aww, that's so cute! You were a toddler nerd!

_Blaine: _Seriously regretting telling you that now.

_Kurt: _No, it's cute! The term's from Finn. He was a toddler nerd too.

_Blaine: _How do you _know _that?

_Kurt: _Carole has photos.

_Blaine: _Wh – actually, I really don't want to know.

_Kurt: _It's cute.

_Blaine: _I'm sure it's adorable. But does Finn have a clue that you've seen them?

_Kurt: _Nope. He hasn't a clue.

_Blaine: _Maybe you should tell him?

_Kurt: _… Nah. It's future blackmail.

_Blaine: _Future blackmail?

_Kurt: _Yeah. He realised I didn't actually see his browser history, so then I moved onto some of Rachel's clothes I found in his room.

_Kurt: _Still on the clothes, actually.

_Blaine: _Why were you poking around in his room?

_Kurt: _Isn't it obvious?

_Blaine: _… No…

_Kurt: _To find blackmail material!

_Blaine: _Of course you were.

_Blaine: _But Kuuuuuurt!

_Kurt: _Yes?

_Blaine: _What'd you get for Christmas?

_Kurt: _This and that. Why do you care?

_Blaine: _Because it's Christmas. And tradition.

_Kurt: _What's tradition?

_Blaine: _To tell people what we got.

_Kurt: _Is it?

_Blaine: _It is for me. Ergo, it is for you.

_Kurt: _I don't follow that.

_Blaine: _You don't have to. You just have to nod and accept it.

_Kurt: _Are you sure?

_Blaine: _Absolutely positive.

_Kurt: _OK then.

_Blaine: _So are you nodding and accepting?

_Kurt: _Not right this second, no.

_Blaine: _:O KURT!

_Kurt: _Well I can't nod every second of the day, can I? I'd look weird.

_Blaine: _So look weird. You can only stop when you tell me what you got.

_Kurt: _And if I don't want to tell you what I got?

_Blaine: _Then we have a problem, and you're a very naughty boy.

_Kurt: _Wow… OK. Never expected you to say _that _.

_Blaine: _Well I just did.

_Kurt: _I know. I was there.

_Blaine: _I know you were. I was too!

_Kurt: _Stop eating chocolate, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Sorry. So! What'choo get?

_Kurt: _I'll tell you on Monday.

_Blaine: _: OK. Guess what we're doing now?

_Kurt: _I don't know, Blaine. What are you doing now?

_Blaine: _We're putting a film in to watch!

_Kurt: _OK. Blaine, I'm going to tell you what you have to do. I'm going to give you a precise order, and strict instructions, and I expect you to stick to it.

_Blaine: _Sure thing.

_Kurt: _1. Stop eating chocolate. 2. Put your phone down. Or turn it off. One of the two. 3. Sit down and enjoy the film with your family. Enjoy Christmas with your family. I'll see you tomorrow, or in a few days. Stop thinking about me.

_Blaine: _But Kurtsie?

_Kurt: _No. Stop it. Have a family Christmas.

_Blaine: _But I want to spend it with you, Kurtsie.

_Kurt: _I don't want to spend it with you.

_Blaine: _Offensive. :P

_Kurt: _;) Merry Christmas, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Merry Christmas, Kurt.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt: <em>Hello, Blaine. This is Burt Hummel. I'm just letting you know that the next time a family-oriented holiday comes around, be it Christmas or something else, and you're the one who keeps my son glued to his phone the entire time, I may not be so thrilled. Understood?

_Blaine: _Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Won't happen again, sir.

_Kurt: _Good. Merry Christmas, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Merry Christmas to you too, sir.

**A/N: Yeah. **

**Wheeee. **

**I think that stuck to the prompt, and I'll now get back to writing normal stuff. No more Christmas/Wintry holiday for another year. **

**MissTalented25: I like it, but I was just wondering how easy that would be to do…? Because you can't really have (to the best of my knowledge) whole four-way text conversations…? **

**WaitingForAKiss: Aww, thanks! I love it. :D Though I've never **_**actually **_**seen RH, so it might be a bit patchy? Never mind. ;) You're welcome! I love writing these. **

**bookster1: Haha. Hope you liked it. :) **

**Pottergirl1: You might have? I don't reply to all my reviews, especially if they're 'Aww, this is cute' etc because really, I can't say that much to them. Thanks! Did you enjoy this Christmas chapter too? I personally like it better… but yeah. **

**D.H. Spy: Aww, thank you! You're really kind. And I love that prompt. It had me laughing while I was reading it. Unfortunately it's going to the bottom of the prompt pile, because I operate on first come first served, and seeing as it's now 2 pages long (blaming my 200 comp for that), it may take a while to get around to you. Sorry about that! But I really really love it. And I've rambled long enough about a 3 line review, which really doesn't deserve this much rambling, so I'm gonna stop talking now. **

**tkijyahh: Aww, thanks! I wouldn't worry about the shortness, God knows I've had worse. Anything over 3 words is appreciated, so… :D**

**Review? **

**INU xx **


	27. Park

**A/N: Hi everyone! **

**From ahathani: **_**Blaine goes to hang out with the Warblers and Kurt can't join them. Kurt demands to know everything they're doing. **_

**Brilliant! :D I know I kind of changed it slightly from the prompt, but whatever. *shrugs***

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _Kuuuurt.

_Kurt: _Yeah?

_Blaine: _Does Jeff have your number?

_Kurt: _No, I changed it. Why?

_Blaine: _Oh, that'll be why you don't know. About this afternoon?

_Kurt: _What's happening this afternoon?

_Blaine: _The Warblers are all meeting up in the park. And as an honourary Warbler…

_Kurt: _Why am I an honourary Warbler?

_Blaine: _Because you were a Warbler, and you're also dating one. ;)

_Kurt: _And your point is?

_Blaine: _Are you coming today?

_Kurt: _No, I can't.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuurtie. :( Why not?

_Kurt: _Homework.

_Blaine: _You go to McKinley. You've coped with Dalton work. It'll be fine.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but I barely scraped by at Dalton. I want something vaguely resembling a good GPA, so I'm gonna do my homework.

_Blaine: _Just for an hour?

_Kurt: _No, Blaine.

_Blaine: _:(

_Kurt: _You enjoy yourself, though.

_Blaine: _OK. I'll have fun by myself.

_Kurt: _Sorry. I do want to come!

_Blaine: _Bye, Kurt.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt: <em>Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _Yes?

_Kurt: _I've done my homework.

_Blaine: _You should have come.

_Kurt: _:P Don't you dare, Blaine. Don't you dare.

_Blaine: _It's really fun.

_Kurt: _Ignoring you now.

_Blaine: _Thad made a picnic.

_Blaine: _It's awesomeness.

_Kurt: _I still don't care.

_Blaine: _We're playing soccer now.

_Kurt: _I don't like soccer.

_Blaine: _Nor do I.

_Kurt: _Then why'd you say it?

_Blaine: _I didn't know whether you liked it or not. You might have, and that would have worked. As it happens, it didn't.

_Kurt: _In what world have I ever been invested in sports?

_Blaine: _You might have been invested in soccer.

_Kurt: _I'm not, though, am I?

_Blaine: _No. No you're not.

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _We've stopped playing soccer.

_Kurt: _I don't care.

_Blaine: _Jeff and Nick are climbing trees.

_Kurt: _Trees are dirty. And I don't care.

_Blaine: _Thad's setting up our picnic.

_Kurt: _Got food at home if I wanted to eat, and I could make my own picnic. So I'm really not bothered about that.

_Blaine: _Trent's chasing David around… actually, you're not missing out that much there.

_Kurt: _Finn.

_Blaine: _Fair point. Wes is hanging octopi up on the trees.

_Kurt: _I don't want to know.

_Blaine: _He has five boxes full of rubber octopi and is suspending them from trees.

_Kurt: _ So glad I'm not there right now. Thank God for McKinley.

_Blaine: _You don't really mean that, right? Because anything you say about homework or whatever will just make you sound sad. And you don't want to sound sad, do you Kurt? Do you? _Do you_?

_Kurt: _… No. Have you been eating sugar?

_Blaine: _A sugar hill. No! A sugar mountain!

_Kurt: _Blaine?

_Blaine: _Yes, Kurtiekins?

_Kurt: _One, never call me that again, but two, what exactly did Thad put in this picnic?

_Blaine: _Some Twizzlers, Reese's Pieces, Tootsie Roll Pops, a lot of Lifesavers, Nerds, Gobstoppers, Salt Water Taffy and a few of those massive gummy bears! HEHEHEEEEEE.

_Kurt: _Thought so. Can I talk to Thad, please?

_Blaine: _No.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _No, cos then you'll get all angry like and everything will fall into despair!

_Kurt: _Strange how when you're hyper, you can sound like a three year old and still maintain some eloquence… Anyway. I need to speak to Thad.

_Blaine: _No you don't.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _Go away Kurt.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _Shut up.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _No. I don't like you.

_Kurt: _I don't like you either.

_Blaine: _You don't?

_Kurt: _No.

_Blaine: _I FEEL UNLOVED.

_Kurt: _…

_Blaine: _SO UNLOVED.

_Kurt: _Never mind. You'll dehyper in a few hours.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Blaine: _Kurtikins.

_Blaine: _Kurtsicle.

_Blaine: _KURTERS.

_Blaine: _I don't like your name.

_Blaine: _There's not a lot to do with it.

_Blaine: _It's a really awkward name to work with.

_Blaine: _Why aren't you responding?

_Blaine: _ I don't like this.

_Blaine: _Are you dead?

_Blaine: _No, of course you're not dead. That's stupid. I'm stupid.

_Blaine: _Owwwwwww. Kurtie, it hurts.

_Kurt: _Did you hit yourself?

_Blaine: _Yeahhhhhhh.

_Kurt: _Tough.

_Blaine: _KURTIE! YOU'RE NOT DEAD!

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Kurtie?

_Blaine: _Kurtie?

_Blaine: _Kurtie?

_Blaine: _Kurtieeeeee.

_Blaine: _KURTIE?

_Blaine: _I FEEL SO UNLOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.

_Kurt: _That's because you are, as you so gracefully put it, 'UNLOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED'.

_Blaine: _WAAAAAAAAAA. :P

_Kurt: _Walking away now.

_Blaine: _:(

_Kurt: _Putting the phone on the table.

_Blaine: _:'(

_Kurt: _Turning the phone off.

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _No! Kurtie! Don't leave me all alone here, to rot!

_Blaine: _It's dark…

_Blaine: _Oh. Hahah. Those were sunglasses. Hahah.

_Blaine: _kjlwkj4tiuv.

_Blaine: _That was meant to say spinnyyyyyyyyy. They were spinning meeeeeee. :(

_Blaine: _K K K K K K U U U U U U R R R R R R R R T T T T T T T T T .

_Blaine: _Yes, I did bother writing that all outtttttt.

_Blaine: _I'm bored. NO! SAVE ME!

_Blaine: _THEY'RE GONNA SPIN ME AGAIN!

_Blaine: _HELP MEEEEE.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt: <em>Are we sane again?

_Blaine: _Kurt…?

_Kurt: _Yeah?

_Blaine: _What the _hell _happened in the park?

_Kurt: _I really have no idea.

_Blaine: _Sorry, park wardens have just told us we need to take the octopi off their houses… how did Wes even find out where they _lived_?

**A/N: Yeah. I don't know. Physics makes me loopy. **

**WaitingForAKiss: Good, because I adore writing him! And I will _definitely _take you up on that. :D **

**bookster1: You're welcome. :) **

**GirlInTheMirror121: Yeah, that was kind of where it came from, I think... I did start channelling them a bit. I can just imagine them being all jokey and stuff in RL, so... I really don't know. Nor do I know about this chapter, as I said just above. **

**janie17: Oh, there's an idea... :) Most people enjoy it, so I'll do that. But my prompt list is ridiculously big.. so... **

**Review? **

**INU xx **


	28. Computer

**A/N: From ahathani: **_**Kurt's computer crashed and Blaine is giving advice (well, trying to). **_

**As someone who invests a bit too much time in technology and the like, this was such a good prompt to get! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. **

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _Blaine, I'm stuck.

_Kurt: _Blaine!

_Kurt: _Blaine, you know the five page English essay due tomorrow?

_Blaine: _Wait, what?

_Kurt: _Joking! But it did get your attention.

_Blaine: _:P

_Kurt: _My computer crashed. And I haven't printed out my History homework yet.

_Blaine: _Kurt…?

_Kurt: _Yeah?

_Blaine: _You do realise you go to McKinley, right?

_Kurt: _Yes, Blaine, I am aware of the school I am currently attending. Why?

_Blaine: _They won't care if you forget one essay. God knows most of the other people in your class have never handed in a piece of work, and they're still getting a C. I wouldn't worry about it.

_Kurt: _You're missing the point. Those people probably want to just go to OSU or some community college. I'm trying to get into _NYADA_, Blaine. And I won't if I don't hand this in.

_Blaine: _Aren't you being a little melodramatic? Your History teacher's not going to flunk you if you forget one essay. She loves you. Remember?

_Kurt: _BLAINE!

_Blaine: _What do you want from me, Kurt? There's really not a lot I can do here.

_Kurt: _Fix my computer!

_Blaine: _From Dalton, 2 hours away?

_Kurt: _Don't be facetious, Blaine. Tell me how to fix it.

_Blaine: _Wasn't trying to be facetious, darling. What's wrong with it?

_Kurt: _It froze. Then it crashed.

_Blaine: _Have you tried restarting it again?

_Kurt: _Have you tried resta- what do you think? Yes! It won't turn on. Which is the whole problem.

_Blaine: _Alright, then. I don't know what you should do.

_Kurt: _But you're _Blaine_.

_Blaine: _Yes. Well done. Great. Glad to know that after 9 months of dating, and over a year of being your friend, you can recognise who I am.

_Kurt: _You know that's not what I meant. You're Blaine Anderson. You're meant to have all the answers to everything.

_Blaine: _I don't have the answers to everything. You should know that.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but you sure act like you do sometimes.

_Blaine: _… Do I?

_Kurt: _Yeah, you do. So you better know how to fix my computer. Because this isn't good.

_Blaine: _Yeah… your computer crashed, so you restarted it. Fair enough. But I have no idea how to get it to turn back on. Why don't you call a hotline or something?

_Kurt: _Because they're no help! Kinda like you right now.

_Blaine: _So what's the difference?

_Kurt: _I can put my phone down on you without sounding rude.

_Blaine: _Because we're texting?

_Kurt: _Exactly. Because we're texting.

_Blaine: _Wow. Your opinion of me really is sky-high. I can _totally _see what Wes and David were on about when they said you looked like a lost puppy in the months before we dated.

_Kurt: _It's different.

_Blaine: _How is it different?

_Kurt: _It's different because we weren't dating then.

_Blaine: _Wonderful. We start going out and your opinion of me plummets. Just what I need to hear.

_Kurt: _Your ego's been stroked enough in the past two years, both at Dalton and at McKinley. I'm the only person who will ever take it down a notch. :)

_Blaine: _Wow.

_Blaine: _OK.

_Blaine: _I'm tempted not to help you with your computer now.

_Kurt: _You weren't helping me before!

_Blaine: _Ah, but I was attempting to, and there's the cardinal difference. Now I _refuse _to help you whatsoever.

_Kurt: _I really don't care.

_Blaine: _What about that History essay you were freaking out over before? What about that?

_Kurt: _It doesn't matter.

_Blaine: _Fifteen minutes ago you didn't have the same opinion of it.

_Kurt: _Yeah well I do now.

_Blaine: _You do now, do you?

_Kurt: _Yes.

_Blaine: _Wonderful.

_Kurt: _What were we even talking about?

_Blaine: _I don't know. Something about your dead computer. Anyway, don't you back it up somewhere?

_Kurt: _No! Who backs up their computer!

_Blaine: _I do.

_Kurt: _It's you. The circumstances are different.

_Blaine: _Really?

_Kurt: _Yes. They really are.

_Blaine: _I doubt that.

_Kurt: _I don't. I really don't.

_Blaine: _Moving on.

_Kurt: _Yes. My computer needs fixing.

_Blaine: _There is an easy way out of it, and you don't have to call a computer company.

_Kurt: _Oh, really? Do tell.

_Blaine: _Explain to your teacher that your computer is broken, and so you can't get the essay out of it. She'll understand – like I said before, she loves you. It'll all be fine.

_Kurt: _That's not helpful, Blaine!

_Blaine: _Well, fine. First you want my help, then you don't, then you do again, then you don't… make up your mind!

_Kurt: _I want your _help_. Not your unnecessary interjections.

_Blaine: _I hardly think that what I'm saying counts as an interjection. Those are generally 'oi' or 'hey' or stuff like that. Not whole sentences.

_Kurt: _I really don't care.

_Blaine: _You should.

_Kurt: _I really don't.

_Blaine: _You still really should.

_Kurt: _I still really don't.

_Blaine: _I'm not going to engage in a contradiction war. It's pointless.

_Kurt: _And everything else isn't?

_Blaine: _Exactly.

_Kurt: _You're really annoying today.

_Blaine: _It's a gift.

_Kurt: _No, it's really not. It's just annoying.

_Blaine: _Me being annoying is annoying?

_Kurt: _Yes. And I'm not afraid to add more annoyings on the end of that and confuse you more.

_Blaine: _I'm sure you're not. But if you confuse yourself, how's that gonna work?

_Kurt: _Oh, I do that all the time. Confuse myself, that is. I wouldn't worry about it.

_Blaine: _I know you do, and I… wasn't…

_Kurt: _Oh, good.

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Kurt: _Yes?

_Blaine: _This conversation has reached a dead end, seeing as we've come to the conclusion that I can't fix your computer.

_Kurt: _Please talk normally for once in your life?

_Blaine: _No.

_Kurt: _Why not?

_Blaine: _Don't feel like it.

_Kurt: _You do realise how childish that makes you sound, don't you?

_Blaine: _Yep.

_Kurt: _Fine. I'll just fix my computer by myself.

_Blaine: _You do that.

**A/N: Yeah.**

**WaitingForAKiss: That would be hilarious. :D Too bad I'm not gonna write it (see below). I am taking you up on your prompt! **

**GirlInTheMirror121: It's probably best you don't ask. :) And I completely agree with the sentiment.**

**INU xx **


	29. Jacket

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay with this update. But I'm going to attempt a writing marathon for Klexting this afternoon (though it's already 5:15 and I'm not doing that well. :D) **

**From ahathani: **_**Kurt stains his favorite jacket (the spare outfit, the main one being slushied after 2 period, so he has nothing to change into), so he texts Blaine, asking him to go to his house and bring him some new clothes. Kurt being desperate + Blaine visiting his closet (hilarious instructions come here!). **_

**Heh. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Kurt: _Hi Blaine.

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Kurt: _So you know how you love me?

_Blaine: _I know how I love you.

_Kurt: _And you know how you keep saying you'll do anything for me?

_Blaine: _Get to the point.

_Kurt: _But I was enjoying all of that.

_Blaine: _Get to the point.

_Kurt: _Right. Well, you know my spare jacket?

_Blaine: _What, the Wes Gordon one that you keep like a shrine in your locker?

_Kurt: _It's not like a shrine!

_Blaine: _You don't let anyone touch it. You kiss it every afternoon before leaving school.

_Kurt: _That, sir, is a nasty rumour. I do not kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _Sure.

_Kurt: _I don't! I have more dignity than that.

_Blaine: _I know you have dignity, Kurt.

_Kurt: _But?

_Blaine: _But I also know you can get a little mad where fashion is concerned.

_Kurt: _I don't kiss the jacket!

_Blaine: _You have about a million different witnesses who have seen you do it on several days. You kiss the jacket.

_Kurt: _Wait, how many?

_Blaine: _Obviously not a million. But around 20?

_Kurt: _How are you in contact with people in McKinley who aren't in the Glee Club – and so aren't friends with you through me - ?

_Blaine: _Ah! But you didn't deny you kiss the jacket!

_Kurt: _That time. Honestly, Blaine. I'm not going to say 'I don't kiss the jacket' every single text.

_Blaine: _Mmm hmm?

_Kurt: _Challenge accepted. I don't kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _So why were you texting me again?

_Kurt: _Oh, yeah. I was forced to wear the jacket today because a stupid car went too fast through a big puddle. I don't kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _So you changed into your Shrine Jacket.

_Kurt: _Enough with the shrine jokes! You're not funny, and it's really not true. But yes, I did change. However, it started raining during the building change, and now the Wes Gordon jacket is ruined as well. I don't kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _What? What is this madness? The Shrine Jacket, ruined?

_Kurt: _I said it before, and I'll say it again. You're not funny.

_Kurt: _And I don't kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _Close, close…

_Kurt: _Seriously, you're not funny. I know you think you are, but you're really not. I don't kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _ You still haven't technically asked me anything – which is what I'm assuming you're going to do.

_Kurt: _Yes, I was. How far are you from my house? I don't kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _Heheee. This jacket thing is brilliant.

_Blaine: _And 2 hours. It's 10 am on a Wednesday afternoon. I'm at school…

_Kurt: _Well leave school and go to my house. I don't kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _You have to stop doing this. I can't just up and leave Dalton every time you need me to run and fetch something from your house. Anyway, don't you live close to McKinley? Couldn't you just run home yourself?

_Kurt: _But that would be a shaming walk to my car and too much hassle. Pleeeeease, Blaine? I don't kiss the jacket.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuurt.

_Kurt: _Blaaaaaaaaaine. IDKTJ.

_Blaine: _Pretty sure that's cheating… But Kuuuuuuuuurt. Please don't make me do this.

_Kurt: _Blaaaaaaaaine. Please do this. IDKTJ.

_Blaine: _How long would it take?

_Kurt: _I dunno. Depends how good you are at picking out a suitable jacket. If you're a normal person, it really shouldn't take more than 15 minutes. IDKJT.

_Kurt: _At my house. IDKJT.

_Blaine: _Fine, fine. I'm going.

_Kurt: _Thank you! IDKJT.

* * *

><p><em>Blaine: <em>OK, I'm at your house. Now what?

_Kurt: _Go in. Key's in the plant. In the leaves. Apparently that's less obvious for robbers to look. I dunno. Anyway, go to my room and the closet on the far left. That's the LONG SLEEVED closet. Don't open any of the others. Please. IDKJT.

_Blaine: _Awww, do you have a shrine of me in one of your closets?

_Kurt: _No. Of course not. Just do it, Blaine. IDKJT.

_Blaine: _Right. Kurt – why do you have three of the same jacket here?

_Kurt: _They're not the same. The patterns on the end of the sleeves and collar are slightly different. But I don't want any of those. IDKJT.

_Blaine: _Why are you making this so complicated? Why can't I just grab the first jacket and go?

_Kurt: _You're such a boy sometimes. IDKJT.

_Blaine: _So are you.

_Kurt: _Not the point Blaine. You can't grab the first jacket and go because I'm wearing my white skinnies today, and you have to be really careful what you wear on the outside with white skinnies because half of the stuff just looks absolutely appalling. IDKJT.

_Blaine: _White skinnies?

_Kurt: _Get your mind out of the gutter. OK, anything black should work. Especially a black Marc Jacobs. White and black contrast each other well, and do wonders for the wearer, and Marc Jacobs' style is absolutely brilliant. IDKJT.

_Blaine: _I don't need the whole lecture, Kurt. Really. I have managed my life quite fine without the fashion seminars, and I'm going to continue to manage my life quite fine without the fashion seminars.

_Kurt: _Fine. Take any black one and go then.

_Blaine: _You know I didn't mean it like that.

_Kurt: _Sure sounded like it.

_Blaine: _Kurt…

_Kurt: _I don't care. Just grab any old jacket. Even one of the three same ones. Not like it matters, is it.

_Blaine: _Kurt, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I love when you lecture me on fashion, because you get so passionate about it, even in texts, and I love that about you.

_Blaine: _I love when you go through every single one of your clothes, trying to find the perfect match even though we're already half an hour late, but I frankly don't care.

_Kurt: _Alright, alright. You're forgiven.

_Blaine: _Yay! :D

* * *

><p>"<em>So, I went through all of them, and there were a few black Marc Jacobs, and I know it's 2 o'clock right now, but I've got all your black Marc Jacobs jumpers here, so you can choose the one you actually want," Blaine said, offering the fabric to Kurt.<em>

_Kurt smiled at him. "God, I love you, Blaine." _

"_I love you too." _

**A/N: Yeah… **

**So it went slightly angsty at the end. Slightly. But I've been meaning to write my hetero-homo reversal original story all week, and **_**that **_**is an angstfest, so I think some of it seeped into this poor, innocent document. **

**Also – less and less of you are reviewing. Please do review, even if it's only with prompt words! Is it that you've run out of things to say? I know I do when it's a long chapter fic, but seriously, anything is useful. **

**Klainebowsmakemyworldresolve: Thanks. I do actually answer your question in the first 7 lines of Chap. 2, Calculus, but in case you're too lazy to go back, Berry Hissy Fit Time. :) **

**Samurai Tsundere: Thanks! Oh, what irony. I've always wished that I could have the patience (or plot) to write longer stuff. I even had to set myself a minimum target of 1k on each chapter for this because it irritates me so much that I write short stuff. :D Hope you enjoyed this! I loved writing it; the short hiatus I had from writing definitely did me good. **

**-God, I know. I get 10 alerts, and just 3 reviews (for example) and it's just… GRRR. **

**Ah, as I said, they didn't get in a fight. No serenading over texts, I'm afraid. ;) Even though I am slipping into a narration slightly in a rare few chapters of these – when I couldn't really finish/start with a text. I love them both equally too – but I will always be loyal to Kurt first and foremost. ;)**

**Review? **

**INU xx **


	30. Wrong Send

**A/N: From mostdapper (FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE'S PROMPTS! ;)): **_**"Wrong Send": Blaine accidentally sending Kurt a message supposedly for someone.. and Kurt gets suspicious. *you get the idea* **_

**Just wondering – so I can have a squealing partner – has anyone else seen The Woman in Black yet? :) **

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely naught. **

_Blaine: _Hey, honey. Are you coming to the beach bonfire tonight?

_Kurt: _What beach bonfire?

_Blaine: _Kurt! Oh, God, sorry. No beach bonfire. Wrong thing.

_Kurt: _What do you mean, wrong thing?

_Blaine: _Autocorrect went mad. I didn't even mean to send that text to you.

_Kurt: _Oh?

_Blaine: _And you think I'm cheating on you now.

_Kurt: _Well, really. What do you expect me to think?

_Blaine: _To trust me. Honey is a person.

_Kurt: _I am aware of that. I just previously thought it was me.

_Blaine: _Kurt – it still is you. Trust me. Her name is Honey Richardson.

_Kurt: _Sounds like a blonde bimbo.

_Blaine: _Kurt, please don't. You're just looking for a fight, and I'm _not _giving it to you.

_Kurt: _Is she from the south?

_Blaine: _I don't know…

_Kurt: _Does she have a Southern accent?

_Blaine: _Slightly. She does have a slight Sothern accent.

_Kurt: _Is she blonde?

_Blaine: _No, actually! She's a brunette.

_Kurt: _Is she naturally blonde?

_Blaine: _…Yes.

_Kurt: _And is she a slut?

_Blaine: _No! I'm not cheating on you, Kurt! I wouldn't.

_Kurt: _What was that text, then? I hardly believe her name is actually Honey.

_Blaine: _It is. Honey Richardson. Do you want to talk to her? Or do you want to come to the bonfire? It won't be interesting for you – it's a tiny Westerville High reunion bonfire. Actually, you probably shouldn't come…

_Kurt: _Oh, come on. Honey isn't a proper name.

_Blaine: _Roald Dahl thought it was.

_Kurt: _That was Roald Dahl. You can't use that as an excuse, seeing as I doubt you've ever met anyone called Trunchbull.

_Blaine: _That's void. Honey is a real name. Plus, why would I cheat on you with a girl? As gay as you, remember?

_Kurt: _Not sure whether to be offended or not…

_Blaine: _Please don't.

_Kurt: _But you're just trying to distract me.

_Blaine: _Honestly, Kurt, I'm not. I'm seriously not cheating on you. I was just checking with Honey if she was going to the bonfire, and I forgot to cap her name. That is IT, Kurt. I promise.

_Kurt: _Promise?

_Blaine: _Yes. Do you want to come? You can meet Honey yourself, if you really don't believe me.

_Kurt: _Nah, you're alright.

_Blaine: _Sure?

_Kurt: _Extremely sure.

_Blaine: _OK. I love you, Kurt.

_Kurt: _I love you too.

_Blaine: _OK. I'll see you tomorrow?

_Kurt: _Yeah. xx

**A/N: Ugh. **

**Ugh ugh ugh. I really don't like this. It's also pityingly short, full of angst and just meh. I just didn't know what else to do with it. **

**I'll have another one up soon. As an apology. Probably tomorrow or around then. **

**GirlInTheMirror121: I know. I had such fun writing that bit. :) **

**klainer: Thanks for the prompt - really - but I think putting StarKid references, especially really obvious ones like yours, is superbly tacky. :/ But thanks for the review! Please keep reading.**

**D.H. Spy: Awww, thanks! You're so sweet. :) Do keep reading. **

**Review? **

**INU xx **


	31. Halloween

**A/N: From xXxShannahBunnyxXx: **_**As for prompt ideas, maybe Kurt and Blaine talk about what they want to do for Halloween. **_

**Wow, this is late. I got it around October, but due to the build up of prompts, only managed to write it in February. This is also an apology for the last chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Kurt: _Halloween.

_Blaine: _Halloween.

_Kurt: _Halloween.

_Blaine: _What about Halloween?

_Kurt: _What are you doing?

_Blaine: _Oh, nothing.

_Kurt: _Nothing? Well, that's why I'm here!

_Blaine: _Yes?

_Kurt: _Yes. I save you from the tedium of doing nothing in these American traditions.

_Blaine: _That's the thing. I don't like Halloween.

_Kurt: _…

_Kurt: _You don't. _Like_. Halloween?

_Blaine: _No. I think it's a pointless excuse to make children's teeth fall out. Something with which they don't need any help, at the rate they're going the rest of the year.

_Kurt: _You're very cynical today, aren't you?

_Blaine: _I'm not cynical. I just don't like Halloween.

_Kurt: _I'm sorry, Blaine, but I refuse to believe that. Everyone likes Halloween. It is physically impossible to not like Halloween.

_Blaine: _Apparently not, because I don't.

_Kurt: _I'll make you like it.

_Blaine: _Kurt. I'm 17. **(1)** I haven't liked it for all my life, and I'm hardly going to start now.

_Kurt: _You might. And therefore, I'm here.

_Blaine: _I won't.

_Kurt: _You might.

_Blaine: _Trust me. I won't.

_Kurt: _Trust me. You might.

_Blaine: _Just repeating what I'm saying but changing the pronouns doesn't add emphasis or strength to your argument, you do realise.

_Kurt: _It might.

_Blaine: _It won't.

_Kurt: _You're still coming to my Halloween party.

_Blaine: _Kurt, I'd really rather not.

_Kurt: _It's not going to be trick-or-treating with little kids or anything. We're just getting a few people together, getting some popcorn or stuff – Puck'll probably bring some wine coolers or something similar – and we'll put a few horror films in and watch them. It's just a bit of fun.

_Blaine: _I know. And it's not the films, or any of that. It's a matter of morals.

_Kurt: _How do morals enter anywhere into a Halloween party? Isn't the festival more about a lack of morals?

_Blaine: _Not really… it would be if kids were encouraged to go to a strip club or something. Anyway, it's morals because I've told myself that I'm not going to go to any more Halloween parties, and so if I did go to yours, it would go against this certain part of my moral code. If that makes sense.

_Kurt: _It does, but it's my Halloween party. It's fine. Your morals will recover.

_Blaine: _It's not my morals, it's the concept and idea of it all.

_Kurt: _You just said it was your morals!

_Blaine: _I know.

_Kurt: _You're really not making that much sense, you do realise.

_Blaine: _I know I'm not. But it doesn't matter. It matters to me, and seeing as I'm the only person involved, it's fine.

_Kurt: _But that's where you're wrong, because my boyfriend is refusing to come to my Halloween party, and he won't say why.

_Blaine: _I've told you why!

_Kurt: _You've told me a garbled mix of morals and concepts and rejections. I really don't count that as a reason, do you?

_Blaine: _It is a reason!

_Kurt: _The thing is, though, Blaine, it really isn't.

_Blaine: _It is!

_Kurt: _Blaine. It isn't.

_Blaine: _If you say so. It is a reason to me.

_Kurt: _We're just going in circles. I know you think it's a reason, and it makes sense in your head, but you're not the one who has to explain – clearly, because they're all idiots – to my friends why you're not there.

_Blaine: _Ah, but you're not an idiot, and you can clearly understand my reasons, so it should be fine. :)

_Kurt: _Oh, no. Don't pull that one. I know what you're doing, sir, and it's not going to work on me.

_Blaine: _Pray, tell. What exactly am I doing? I wasn't aware I was doing anything.

_Kurt: _Yes you are. You know what you're doing.

_Blaine: _But that's why we're having this conversation. I don't!

_Kurt: _Yes. Yes you do.

_Blaine: _Kurt. I really really don't.

_Kurt: _Sure you don't.

_Blaine: _ I don't.

_Kurt: _If you continue to act like this, then I refuse to continue this conversation.

_Blaine: _O_o

_Kurt: _So, this Halloween party.

_Blaine: _No. Kurt, I'm sorry, I'm not going.

_Kurt: _Please? It'll be fun.

_Blaine: _Not for me. It's really not going to be fun for me.

_Kurt: _Are you sure? Because I know I really want you there.

_Blaine: _I really want to be there too, but I really can't. Morals and all that.

_Kurt: _Stop with the morals. And if you really want to come, come! It doesn't matter. If it's to do with your past, it doesn't matter. Honestly.

_Blaine: _Oh, I was just saying that. I don't want to come.

_Kurt: _What?

_Blaine: _OK, here's the truth. I was deviating because I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but because you're really not letting this go, here it is. I don't like Halloween parties.

_Kurt: _:O

_Kurt: _You don't like Halloween parties?

_Kurt: _:O

_Kurt: _How can you not like Halloween parties? They're the best part of the year.

_Blaine: _1. The last day of October is COLD.

_Blaine: _2. Horror films are already going to scare you. Why are you psyching your mind up for that even further?

_Blaine: _3. It's a gimmick, designed to sell even more candy than on Valentine's Day.

_Blaine: _4. Screaming children never bode well with me.

_Blaine: _5. I don't fancy spending my evening with tipsy people screaming.

_Kurt: _Alright, alright. I get it. You're not coming to the Halloween party.

_Blaine: _No. I'm really not. I'll do Christmas, though, if you want me to.

_Kurt: _That'd be good. Compensation and the like.

_Blaine: _OK. I'll definitely come to your Christmas party. :) No Halloween. Ever.

_Kurt: _Fiiiiine.

_Kurt: _Happy Halloween?

_Blaine: _Don't.

_Kurt: _;)

**A/N: That is me. Blaine is me at Halloween. Can't stand any of it. Halloween is just… :/ I don't mind the films or any of that, just the whole concept of it is tedious. **

**Because, despite what RIB says, Blaine is a **_**senior**_**.**

**Also, I'm going to start giving previews of the next chapter to all contactable reviewers. (Read: CONTACTABLE) :) Just a head's-up. **

**GirlInTheMirror121: :D My point exactly. :) **

**Madame Warbler: I'm flattered… I think! I miss Wevid too… :( Anyway. I'm satisfying myself with this Klaine. Wow… that number plate would be the tackiest thing in the world. ;) And I think uncles would be the correct terminology here. But thank you for reviewing! Please keep reading. **

**tortorm: Hi! Thanks! That's hilarious. It was the first name that came to me (and only, really) that would be the same as an endearment. Hope you enjoyed this. **

**kawaii01: I'll get back to you on that… when I manage to make sense of the prompt in my head. ;) **

**arwenisawench: You're very kind. Glad this cheered you up! **

**Review and prompt? **

**INU xx **


	32. Drunk

**A/N: From WaitingForAKiss: **_**One; One of the new directions tells Blaine/Wevid a drunk!Kurt story. Two; Drunk Klexting. :) **_

**Combined the two together into one because that was just so much easier. :) **

**Large increase in reviews. Apparently you like the previews. I'll keep them coming, then. :) **

**Also – anyone else like All Time Low, or is that just me in the Klaine fandom? Not The Wanted song, the band. Did Running From Lions, Stella, Painting Flowers… **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

_Blaine: _Funny thing.

_Kurt: _I really doubt it.

_Blaine: _No, it was! Legitimately funny.

_Kurt: _Still doubting.

_Blaine: _But seriously. It made me laugh.

_Blaine: _Like a lot.

_Kurt: _I don't doubt that. However, you are the person who laughed at the gummy bear song, so forgive me if I doubt your sense of humour somewhat.

_Blaine: _The gummy bear song is cool! Stop making fun of me!

_Kurt: _Nah, don't think I will. Making fun of you is funny.

_Blaine: _Like the gummy bear song!

_Kurt: _No. I thought we agreed never to bring that up anyway.

_Blaine: _No. You agreed never to bring that up again. I made NO SUCH PROMISE.

_Kurt: _What have you been consuming?

_Blaine: _Nothing…

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _Honest! I haven't had anything.

_Kurt: _If you say so.

_Blaine: _I do say so. I say so most violently.

_Kurt: _Have you been watching Bill and Ted again?

_Blaine: _No! Of course not. Anyway, didn't you ban that?

_Kurt: _You mean burn it, right?

_Blaine: _YOU BURNED BILL AND TED?

_Kurt: _No… Honestly, Blaine, I don't know where you come up with all of this. You're eternally high.

_Blaine: _It's a gift.

_Kurt: _Not for me.

_Blaine: _For me it is.

_Kurt: _For you everything is a gift.

_Blaine: _The sad thing is, that's actually true.

_Kurt: _I know that's actually true. That's why I said it.

_Blaine: _Oui. Ja. Shi. Ita vero.

_Kurt: _Please stop.

_Blaine: _Non. Nein. Bu. Minime.

_Kurt: _You're hopeless.

_Blaine: _Am I? Am I really?

_Kurt: _Yes. You really really are.

_Blaine: _I shall force you to reconsider that… soon.

_Kurt: _No, you really won't.

_Blaine: _Anyway. Why I was texting you in the first place!

_Kurt: _Oh no.

_Blaine: _:D It's very funny.

_Kurt: _I'm not going to negate that, because then we're just going to go in a loop again.

_Blaine: _Dalton did rub off a bit on you, then.

_Kurt: _Say nothing. Say nothing.

_Blaine: _I'm not saying anything. But this funny story!

_Kurt: _Fine. What is it?

_Blaine: _So, Puck somehow managed to get my phone number…

_Kurt: _Oh no.

_Blaine: _And he explained why you rarely ever drink now.

_Kurt: _He didn't.

_Blaine: _Oh, he did.

_Blaine: _YOU THREW UP ON YOUR GUIDANCE COUNSELLOR! That is _gold_, darling. _Gold._

_Kurt: _Please stop.

_Blaine: _I don't think I will. Because this is too funny. Too funny.

_Kurt: _Not for me.

_Kurt: _In fact, I think it's insensitive of you to keep on bringing that up and laughing at it. So please desist.

_Blaine: _Don't think I will.

_Kurt: _Please.

_Blaine: _Nope!

_Kurt: _You're not funny. In fact, you're being very hurtful and I might be forced to break up with you.

_Blaine: _:O

_Kurt: _Yeah. Mmm hmm. So you'd better take your jokes and leave them behind you.

_Blaine: _Can I think about that for a minute?

_Kurt: _What is there to think about? Stay with me, or break up. What's the choice?

_Blaine: _Stay, obviously, you don't even have to ask. But I'm keeping the jokes.

_Kurt: _No.

_Blaine: _Yes. The jokes are funny. The jokes stay.

_Kurt: _No. The jokes need to go.

_Blaine: _The jokes are staying. You can't force me to stop telling jokes.

_Kurt: _You can't force me to stay with you.

_Blaine: _Yes I can.

_Kurt: _Pretty sure that comes with some legal consequences…

_Blaine: _So?

_Kurt: _Never mind.

_Blaine: _Yush.

_Kurt: _Please stop with the jokes.

_Blaine: _Fiiiine. One last one?

_Kurt: _Sure. One last one.

_Blaine: _You threw up on the guidance counsellor!

_Kurt: _Done?

_Blaine: _Yeah.

XxXxX

_Kurt: _Hi Blainers.

_Blaine:_ Hi Kurt.

_Kurt: _You're cute.

_Blaine: _Thanks…

_Kurt: _This photo of you is very cute.

_Blaine: _I think that's meant to be a compliment…

_Kurt: _You're cute, Bllaaaaainnnnnnnne.

_Blaine: _Wait – are you drunk?

_Kurt: _Hush hush. Don't tell my daddy!

_Blaine: _Oh, I am never deleting this conversation. OK, Kurt, darling, put the phone down.

_Kurt: _Noooo, don't wanna.

_Kurt: _I wanna DANCE! I'm gonna dance like… dance like me! I'm gonna be Billy Ell- that dude.

_Blaine: _Billy Elliot?

_Kurt: _That's what I said.

_Blaine: _No, I think you were more along the lines of Billy Ell-that dude.

_Kurt: _Yeaaaah. Duh, Blaine, you're stupid today.

_Blaine: _Yeah, I know. It's a curse.

_Kurt: _ABRACADABRA.

_Blaine: _What are you doing?

_Kurt: _Uncursing you.

_Blaine: _Great. That was really appreciated.

_Kurt: _Bump.

_Blaine: _Bump?

_Kurt: _Bump. Bump! BUMP!

_Blaine: _What?

_Kurt: _Fe fi fo fum!

_Blaine: _The giant is coming?

_Kurt: _Whoa! What giant? Giant, where?

_Blaine: _That's what the giant says. Fe fi fo fum.

_Kurt: _No, silly. That's the dragoaofond.

_Blaine: _Dragon?

_Kurt: _That's what I said. Drajdjfaldj.

_Blaine: _If you say so.

_Kurt: _Heheeeeeeee.

_Blaine: _OK, Kurt. You need to go get some water, sit, and sober up. OK?

_Kurt: _I love youuuuuuu.

_Blaine: _I love you too. But please sober up. :)

**A/N: Yeah. **

**Review and prompt? Comes with a free preview! :D **

**INU xx **


	33. Grounded

**A/N: From In The Loft (my lovely on-off beta!): **_**I have a possible prompt idea? Kurt gets grounded, and his phone's taken away, but he doesn't tell Blaine? And then maybe he could use one of ND's phones at the end? **_

**Well this should be interesting. **

**Disclaimer: I own not a thing. **

_Blaine: _So, Kurt. I was thinking, if you're free, we could go for dinner soon or something?

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Have I done something wrong?

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Fine then. I'll just ramble to myself until you reply. Because I'm awesome like that.

_Blaine: _So. I'm awesome. And I'm going to stop channeling Sugar Motta.

_Blaine: _I know. Kittens are awesome.

_Blaine: _Puppies are awesomer.

_Blaine: _But kittens are pretty cute.

_Blaine: _Puppies are awesomely cute. CUTE.

_Blaine: _Cute cute cute.

_Blaine: _You would be cute too, if you'd actually answer my texts.

_Blaine: _But you're not, and I feel rejected and unloved and ALONE.

_Blaine: _ALONE.

_Blaine: _How do you feel about that? You make me feel ALONE.

_Blaine: _ALONE's a weird word.

_Blaine: _I don't know why I keep typing ALONE in caps. It looks cool though.

_Blaine: _The caps. Not ALONE. Because ALONE's a weird word.

_Blaine: _I think you've got the message.

_Blaine: _You know that you've made me feel ALONE, don't you?

_Blaine:_ Don't like this. I need conversation to live.

_Blaine: _I'm a social being. I need conversation.

_Blaine: _Conversation is what keeps me alive.

_Blaine: _Without it, I would die.

_Blaine: _Because that's what something that keeps you alive does.

_Blaine: _Obviously you know that. You can speak English.

_Blaine: _Duh.

_Blaine: _I know that.

_Blaine: _Why wouldn't I?

_Blaine: _I can speak English too.

_Blaine: _Yeah.

_Blaine: _So, I'm kinda running out of things to say here

_Blaine: _I wouldn't if you were actually here.

_Blaine: _Because then we'd be able to have a proper conversation.

_Blaine: _I like The Script.

_Blaine: _I'm listening to them now.

_Blaine: _They're cool.

_Blaine: _Do you know why they're cool?

_Blaine: _You probably do.

_Blaine: _Well, seeing as I'm talking to myself, I definitely do.

_Blaine: _But anyway.

_Blaine: _They're cool because they're Irish.

_Blaine: _And the Irish are awesome.

_Blaine: _Yes we are.

_Blaine: _Irish are insanely awesome.

_Blaine: _I'm not just saying that.

_Blaine: _Even though I'm not saying anything. I'm writing it.

_Blaine: _Because I'm cool.

_Blaine: _I'm also very bored.

_Blaine: _Very very bored.

_Blaine: _I don't feel like I'm making intelligent conversation over here.

_Blaine: _So does this mean that you carry the intelligence in this relationship?

_Blaine: _I really hope not.

_Blaine: _I want it to be equal.

_Blaine: _I know it is really.

_Blaine: _Wow I really have nothing to do.

_Blaine: _With my LIFE.

_Blaine: _Does that sound a bit too much like Rachel Berry?

_Blaine: _Or someone equally dramatic.

_Blaine: _Yes. It really does…

_Blaine: _Hum.

_Blaine: _So, basically, I'm bored.

_Blaine: _I have nothing to do. This is why I'm spamming your inbox.

_Blaine: _This is probably costing me a lot. I don't care.

_Blaine: _I really don't care anymore.

_Blaine: _KUUUUURRRRT.

_Blaine: _Oh, my God. Blaine, look at your life. This is sad.

_Blaine: _I know.

_Blaine: _So I'm actually talking. Properly talking to myself.

_Blaine:_ That's it. It's official. I've gone mad.

_Blaine: _I have legitimately gone mad. This is not good. This is as far from not good as it is possible for one person to be.

_Blaine: _Oui.

_Blaine: _I'm not going to say yes in other languages. Partly because I don't really know any others, but mainly because I really can't be bothered to.

_Blaine: _So yeah. I'd say I'm awesome, but I think I've said that a bit too much recently…

_Blaine: _Kay. So you know how I have nothing to do?

_Blaine: _Yeah, I still have nothing to do.

_Blaine: _My phone hasn't lost any battery for this whole thing. I think there's something wrong with it.

_Blaine: _Hum.

_Blaine: _Wait, when did I ever say hum? It's not something I say. I'm not going to say it again. :)

_Blaine: _AGHHHHHH I'M GOING INSANE.

_Blaine: _If that last was anything to go by, I think I already have…

_Blaine: _I have stuff I should be reading. And doing other stuff. Cos I'm cool like that.

_Blaine: _I need to stop channeling Sugar Motta.

_Blaine: _Yeah. I don't know which school I'm at anymore. Because I know everyone at McKinley, but apparently I'm still spending nights and lessons at Dalton…

_Blaine: _That probably means that I'm at Dalton, but I really have no idea.

_Blaine: _I wouldn't ask. I really wouldn't.

_Blaine: _Je m'ennuie. 我感觉很无聊。Mir ist langweilig. Estoy aburrido. Ego terebravisse.

_Blaine: _OK. I think that that was the most unnecessary thing I've done.

_Blaine: _Ever.

_Blaine: _And I've done a lot of unnecessary things. But translating 'I'm bored' into five different languages is definitely up there.

_Blaine: _I'm talking to myself. I can't even remember where you're meant to be anymore, but please return. Before I kill myself with insanity.

_Blaine: _So. I went to see The Woman in Black last week.

_Blaine: _But you already know. Because you came with me. And we had a long chat about it after.

_Blaine: _So obviously this conversation isn't going to work.

_Blaine: _This isn't even a conversation! A conversation has to be between two people.

_Blaine: _I just looked it up. It's an exchange of ideas verbally. Which is not what this is. Therefore, this isn't a conversation. This is me going slowly mad.

_Blaine: _Ce n'est pas bon.

_Blaine: _No. I'm not going to translate everything again. Because that was a colossal waste of my time. :)

_Blaine: _Yes it was.

_Blaine: _So yeah.

_Blaine: _I've run out of things to say now.

_Blaine: _Well, I ran out of things to say a long time ago. But I'm finally admitting it, instead of just saying that I'm bored.

_Blaine: _And I don't know how many texts this afternoon has eaten up – and I really don't want to know.

_Unknown: _Blaine, this is Kurt. My phone got confiscated – got grounded – won't get it back for two weeks. This is Mercedes' phone. Just thought that I should let you know.

_Blaine: _…

_Blaine: _Whoops.

**A/N: Heh. **

**Yeah. Previews for all contactable reviewers. **

**Prompt? But I have something like 24 waiting to be written, so concrit would be more productive right now... **

**INU xx **


	34. Musical

**A/N: From GirlInTheMirror121: **_**if [sic] I may permit the request that Kurt drag Blaine to some musical or another in revenge for the whole football game thing? **_

**OK, so for those of you who can remember this (well done, by the way) this'll just be a carry on. For the normal people among you, it was Chapter 17. :) **

**Also – in honour of Klaine Week, which I only found out about today, I'm going to put up a new Klexting every day. I'd do one shots, but 1) I have no time and 2) Honestly, I cba. **

**I'll try to get them done asap, but some may take a day or two. This is why I didn't reply with any previews to reviews – you were gonna see it soon anyway. ;) **

**On we go! **

**Disclaimer: I own naught. **

_Kurt: _Hi Blaine.

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Kurt: _Hi Blaine.

_Blaine: _What do you want?

_Kurt: _Always assuming that I only text you when I want something.

_Blaine:_ Well you do.

_Kurt: _No I don't! At least, not always...

_Blaine: _Kurt. You really do.

_Kurt: _No I don't! That's an awful thing to say!

_Blaine: _It may be awful – which it's not, by the way – but it's true. You can't deny that it is true.

_Kurt: _Not only am I denying that it is true, but I am demanding that you take it back immediately.

_Blaine: _What if I say no?

_Kurt: _Then I'll disown you.

_Blaine: _Will you? Will you really?

_Kurt: _Yes.

_Blaine: _Because disowning means severing all connections with a person. Ergo, if you disown me, we can't continue going out. And so I really don't think it's in your best interests – if you were being completely selfish – to disown me.

_Kurt: _Shut up with your reason and logic.

_Blaine: _Never.

_Kurt: _:P

_Blaine: _Wow you're mature.

_Kurt: _Again. Shut up.

_Blaine: _So why are we having this conversation in the first place?

_Kurt: _What?

_Blaine: _Well you texted me. And I think there was a reason. So, why? Or were you just bored?

_Kurt: _No, no. There was a reason.

_Blaine: _Yes?

_Kurt: _OK. So.

_Blaine: _Anytime you're ready.

_Kurt: _Hush. I'm getting there.

_Blaine: _Sure. Anytime. It's not like I have anything to do.

_Kurt: _:P As I was saying, you remember when I agreed to go to that football game with you?

_Blaine: _Yes… though now I'm dubious about this.

_Kurt: _There's no reason why you should be. It's just a simple request, as a favour returned for me going to that football game with you.

_Blaine: _A relationship is built out of give and take, Kurt. Give and take. Not everything needs repaying.

_Kurt: _Mmm hmm?

_Blaine: _Fiiine.

_Kurt: _Hah.

_Blaine: _What do you want to go see?

_Kurt: _The community theatre's current musical.

_Blaine: _Which is?

_Kurt: _Actually, they've split into two performances, because of the expanding cast they have in Lima right now.

_Blaine: _There are a lot of aspiring actors in Lima?

_Kurt: _Apparently. I was unaware. But this gives you a little liberty in the matter, you do realise – you can choose which show we go to. :)

_Blaine: _Shoot. What are they doing? I should let you know – I am dreading this.

_Kurt: _You shouldn't be.

_Blaine: _What are the musicals?

_Kurt: _It's ridiculous that you don't know this, Blaine. Really, ridiculous.

_Blaine: _What are the musicals?

_Kurt: _Spring Awakening or Sweeney Todd.

_Blaine: _Didn't realise you liked Spring Awakening.

_Kurt: _You really don't know that much about me, do you?

_Blaine: _I resent that, seeing as we've been going out for months now. And were friends before that.

_Kurt: _And yet you don't know I liked Spring Awakening.

_Blaine: _I can't know everything about you.

_Kurt: _Shut up. Which one?

_Blaine: _Can I say neither?

_Kurt: _No. I went to that football game on your request – because I'm a nice boyfriend. So I think it's only fair you return the favour and come to the community theatre with me.

_Blaine: _Why don't you take Rachel? She's actually interested in all of that – she'll be willing to go.

_Kurt: _Why didn't you take Finn to the game? He's actually interested in all of that – he would have been willing to go.

_Blaine: _Because I don't want to take Finn! He's not my beautiful boyfriend, is he?

_Kurt: _And because I don't want to take Rachel! She's not my beautiful boyfriend, is she?

_Blaine: _Touché.

_Kurt: _Cheers.

_Blaine: _You're welcome.

_Kurt: _Please come. Anyway, I told you you can choose. And you like comm theatre anyway; why are you putting up such a fuss about this?

_Blaine: _Because I don't wanna go to the theatreeeeeeeee.

_Kurt: _Tough. Suck it up, Blaine Anderson.

_Blaine: _Ugh. Fine.

_Kurt: _Thank you! Now. Spring Awakening or Sweeney Todd?

_Blaine: _Can I get back to you on that?

_Kurt: _No. I have to get the tickets now.

_Blaine: _Sweeney Todd.

_Kurt: _Your obsession with blood and guts and gore on the stage can't be healthy.

_Blaine: _;) You're welcome. You love it really.

_Kurt: _No. I really don't.

_Blaine: _OK, fine. You love me really.

_Kurt: _That I do.

_Blaine: _Cheers. And you're not going to force me to go to any more comm theatre after this?

_Kurt: _But…

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Kurt: _Yeah…

_Blaine: _No.

_Kurt: _Fine. I'm not going to force you to go to any more comm theatre after this. I'll invite you, and if you don't want to come, I'll find someone else. Deal?

_Blaine: _Deal.

_Kurt: _Good. Meet me at 7:00 outside the comm theatre.

_Blaine: _Wait, what?

_Kurt: _Chop chop! We're seeing it tonight.

_Blaine: _No, Kurt. That wasn't in the deal.

_Kurt: _Yes it was. Didn't your mother always tell you to read the small print?

_Blaine: _It was a verbal contract. There is no small print.

_Kurt: _A verbal contract isn't legally binding.

_Blaine: _OK, I'm stopping this conversation here before it delves too much into the legality of all of this. I'm getting ready. I'll be on time. You, however, who always swaps outfits…

_Kurt: _Not this time, darling. I'm already outside.

_Blaine: _Well, damn you.

_Kurt: _;)

**A/N: Yayyyy. Another one done. 19 more to go before I fulfil all prompts as of now. **

**That's not happening tonight. **

**Review? (Excerpt with every CONTACTABLE review, and any questions answered.) Prompt – though I'd prefer concrit than prompts right now. I have enough prompts to last me a while. :D) Except no excerpt, due to Klaine week. :D **

**INU xx **


	35. Marry?

**A/N: From ScorpioGirl1987: **_**Jealous; Marriage; Pie **_

**Again, combined them into one because that just makes my life that much easier. **

**Day 2 of my version of Klaine Week. :) **

**Also- we're coming up to 300 reviews, so I thought, as with my 200 reviews competition, I'll do another review competition. It'll go to the top of my pile, perhaps posted this week, which is probably ridiculous, seeing how many I have to write, but whatever. :) PROMPT! **

**Disclaimer: I own naught. **

_Kurt: _I'm hungry.

_Blaine: _:O You're never hungry.

_Kurt: _Of course I am!

_Blaine: _No. I'm serious. You're literally never hungry. I swear you're never hungry. You just cook regularly. But you eat nothing. How are you hungry? I'm meant to be the stomach of both of us in this relationship.

_Kurt: _First, ew. We're not Siamese twins. Or penguins. Which would be wrong anyway because that would indicate incest. Anyway. Two – I'm a human, and of course I get hungry sometimes. I just eat more discretely than you do. You're like a human vacuum.

_Blaine: _I object to that accusation greatly.

_Kurt: _You object, but you don't deny. I want pie.

_Blaine: _No. That is true. I am not denying it. I am just protesting at the outrageousness of the statement. And I'm ignoring that.

_Kurt: _Only you use words like outrageousness.

_Blaine: _It exists! I looked it up in the Oxford English Dictionary.

_Kurt: _Why does that matter?

_Blaine: _Two reasons. It's the official Scrabble dictionary, meaning it's very accurate, and it has the word Muggle in it. So it must be awesome and correct.

_Kurt: _Wow. OK. Glad I asked.

_Blaine: _Are you?

_Kurt: _No. Not in the slightest.

_Blaine: _:( Sad face.

_Kurt: _I can tell that that's a sad face. You don't have to narrate.

_Blaine: _If you continue being this mean to me, I won't marry you.

_Kurt: _… Where did that come from?

_Blaine: _If you're mean, I won't want to marry you.

_Kurt: _But you love me, so if I'm mean or not shouldn't matter to you. But that's not the point. Why talk of marriage out of the blue, and on texts? Shouldn't it be more… sacred? That's not really the right word. But you know what I mean.

_Blaine: _I do know what you mean, but no. It shouldn't be. It should be just fine.

_Kurt: _OK, I'm sorry, but that made no sense.

_Blaine: _:O I always make sense. You wound me.

_Kurt: _I wound you? You're just getting weirder.

_Blaine: _You're just driving yourself further and further away from marriage.

_Kurt: _I don't want to get married yet!

_Blaine: _You don't want to get married?

_Kurt: _Of course I want to get married, just not yet…

_Blaine: _Is there someone else? Of course there is. Go on. Be happy, Kurt. Be happy and fly!

_Kurt: _I didn't say that at all. Have you been drinking?

_Blaine: _No.

_Blaine: _Not much.

_Blaine: _I only had a beer!

_Kurt: _Why are you drinking?

_Blaine: _Because I can.

_Kurt: _You do realise that's not a valid reason, right?

_Blaine: _Yes it is!

_Kurt: _No it isn't.

_Blaine: _Yes. It is.

_Kurt: _Blaine. It really isn't.

_Blaine: _Oh, I can see what's going on here. I can see through you, Kurt Hummel.

_Kurt: _Yes?

_Blaine: _Yes!

_Kurt: _What can you see?

_Blaine: _You're jealous!

_Kurt: _Jealous?

_Blaine: _Yes. You're so obviously jealous.

_Kurt: _You're mixing me up with another Kurt Hummel, because I can assure you that Kurt Hummel does not get jealous.

_Blaine: _*cough*Jeremiah*cough*Rachel.

_Kurt: _That was different! That was Blaine-less Kurt.

_Blaine: _Cop out.

_Kurt: _It's not a cop out! It's a valid excuse!

_Blaine: _You said excuse. You admitted that it was an excuse!

_Kurt: _Reason. I meant reason.

_Blaine: _Sure you did.

_Kurt: _I did! I honestly did!

_Blaine: _Sure.

_Kurt: _I did!

_Blaine: _Sure.

_Kurt: _I'm not talking to you now. You're being annoying.

_Blaine: _I'm annoying half the time in your books, though…

_Kurt: _That is true.

_Blaine: _Why are you still with me, then?

_Kurt: _You know, I'm not sure myself…

_Blaine: _Sad face. You don't love me anymore.

_Kurt: _Yes, I do. Of course I still love you.

_Blaine: _I'm still offended.

_Kurt: _Be offended, then.

_Blaine: _I will. I am.

_Kurt: _I know. We just had this conversation.

_Blaine: _Yes. Yes we did.

_Kurt: _Humphhhh.

_Blaine: _You're getting tired, aren't you?

_Kurt: _No! Not in the slightest. I'm never tired around you.

_Blaine: _But you don't love me anymore.

_Kurt: _Yes, I do. When did I ever say that?

_Blaine: _You didn't. I inferred it. Cos I'm a clever boy.

_Kurt: _OK, you need to stop drinking now. You've had a bit too much.

_Blaine: _No! I'm fine! I'm perfectly sober!

_Kurt: _If you were sober, you would never have said 'I'm a clever boy' or 'I inferred it'. Therefore, you are tipsy. Not drunk. Just a bit tipsy, though.

_Blaine: _Honest, I'm not tipsy! I'm just in a weird mood.

_Kurt: _There's really no line with you, Blaine, is there? I have no idea when you're in a weird mood or when you've been drinking.

_Blaine: _Well you should by now. Really.

_Kurt: _They're all the same! I really can't know. Sometimes you're tipsy, sometimes you've had a lot of sugar, or sometimes you're just in a weird mood. You really can't tell.

_Blaine: _There are differences!

_Kurt: _To you! You've been yourself for 17 years!

_Blaine: _I hope so…

_Kurt: _That's not the point! The point is I've only known you for one and a bit, so it's going to take me a while to distinguish between your slightly differing moods.

_Blaine: _Pfff. That's silly.

_Kurt: _Yeah, you're definitely tipsy.

_Blaine: _Oui. That I am. Tipsy I am.

_Kurt: _Okaaay, Blaine. Drink some water. Night.

_Blaine: _Night, Kurtsies.

**A/N: OK. I said every word in the prompt at least once. :) **

**Review? Next chapter's coming tomorrow, so no previews. It's pointless, anyway. :) Prompt? **

**Remember the 300 competition! **


	36. Redecorating

**A/N: From SweetAngelIAm: **_**Room redecoration; fashion **_

**Combined. **

**Day 3 of my Klaine Week. :D **

**Disclaimer: I own naught. **

_Kurt: _Do you know what I really need right now?

_Blaine: _A cigarette?

_Kurt: _What?

_Blaine: _Never mind. It's just when somebody says that, usually something with nicotine follows.

_Kurt: _But I don't smoke. You know I don't.

_Blaine: _But that's still what follows.

_Kurt: _But I still don't smoke.

_Blaine: _I don't care. It's still what happens.

_Kurt: _Sometimes. Not always.

_Blaine: _But it could have been.

_Kurt: _But it wasn't!

_Blaine: _You're missing the point. It could have been.

_Kurt: _I'm not going to continue talking about this with you. You're just going to keep on being obstinate, and it's just going to be pointless.

_Blaine: _Yes. Yes it is.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _Hi.

_Kurt: _No. Just no.

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Kurt: _No.

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Kurt: _No. I'm not continuing this.

_Kurt: _So, as I was saying before we descended into complete disarray. I really really want to do a room redecoration.

_Blaine: _Then why don't you?

_Kurt: _Car je n'ai pas de l'argent.

_Blaine: _You do realise I can't speak French, right?

_Kurt: _But before, when you'd gone mad, when my phone got confiscated, you translated some stuff into French… je m'ennuie, if I remember.

_Blaine: _Yeah, but I was using my French textbook for that. That doesn't count.

_Kurt: _French textbook?

_Blaine: _Yeah. From Dalton.

_Kurt: _OK, so you go to Dalton, you're taking French in a very academic school, you have a probably complex textbook and yet you can't speak a word of French? How are you expecting to pass your exams?

_Blaine: _I cram. Majorly. It works, somehow.

_Kurt: _Great. And you're learning French why…?

_Blaine: _Spanish seemed too hard. The endings are all like Latin. You've got to get the verb, but you don't have nous allions etc. It's soy and so on. And I don't like Latin.

_Kurt: _Right. But you and French just didn't click?

_Blaine: _Yep.

_Kurt: _I'd offer you tutoring, but I really don't think that would be productive.

_Blaine: _No, nor do I…

_Kurt: _Anyway. Back to my room redecorating!

_Blaine: _Didn't you just redecorate?

_Kurt: _Yes. But that was in summer. July. It's now March.

_Blaine: _And…? That's not even a year.

_Kurt: _Wait, wait. This may raise an important problem. When was the last time you redecorated?

_Blaine: _My room? Or our house?

_Kurt: _Your room. When was the last time you, personally, through your own funds, redecorated?

_Blaine: _Ummm… it'd probably be about 22 months ago?

_Kurt: _But… but… that's nearly 2 years…

_Blaine: _Yep.

_Kurt: _Two years… how have you lived in the same room for two years? Don't you want a change?

_Blaine: _You do realise I pretty much live at yours, right?

_Kurt: _Two years, Blaine. Two years!

_Blaine: _Yeah? What about it?

_Kurt: _Wait… didn't you move into your new house two years ago?

_Blaine: _22 months ago, to be precise. But yes.

_Kurt: _I don't know whether I should help you, or just disown you and get it done with.

_Blaine: _Neither. I'm perfectly happy spending 21/6 at your house, and it really doesn't matter.

_Kurt: _The thing is – it really does matter. First appearances are everything.

_Blaine: _But no-one except my friends go in my room anyway, so actually, it really doesn't matter.

_Kurt: _Even to your best friend. First impressions matter.

_Blaine: _:O But you're my best friends. Does it matter to you?

_Kurt: _Have you been here for the entire conversation? It really does.

_Blaine: _Mr Hummel! I am _offended_!

_Kurt: _OK.

_Blaine: _You callous, callous being.

_Kurt: _I know. You say that a lot.

_Blaine: _I am aware of that. Anyway. Why can't you redecorate?

_Kurt: _No money. Spent them on clothes.

_Blaine: _You love those two things more than me, I swear. Fashion and room design. It's slightly worrying.

_Kurt: _I don't love them more than you!

_Blaine: _Mmm hmm?

_Kurt: _Alright, fine, maybe I do.

_Blaine: _Victoryyyyyy.

_Kurt: _How is that a victory? I've just admitted that I love material things more than you. You, who's the love of my life.

_Blaine: _Evidently I'm not the love of your life. You're a cheater!

_Kurt: _What?

_Blaine: _If you love fashion more than me, that must make fashion the love of your life.

_Kurt: _Yes…

_Blaine: _And you've had a constant relationship with fashion for quite a few years, yes?

_Kurt: _You could call it that…

_Blaine: _So, therefore, you're cheating on your past relationship with fashion.

_Kurt: _Yes… but no. Seeing as fashion is an inanimate object…

_Blaine: _But still!

_Kurt: _But nothing. It doesn't count if the 'affair' is with something that technically can't love back.

_Blaine: _Pshh. You know it is really.

_Kurt: _The thing is though, it really isn't.

_Blaine: _Nah, it is.

_Kurt: _No, it's not.

_Blaine: _Yes it is. You know it is really.

_Kurt: _I refuse to have this conversation with you. Are you going to help me with my room or not?

_Blaine: _I should be offended at how many of our conversations you cut off.

_Kurt: _Are you going to be?

_Blaine: _I might be.

_Kurt: _Really? Really, truly, really?

_Blaine: _I might be.

_Kurt: _Really?

_Blaine: _Yep.

_Kurt: _Are you sure about that?

_Blaine: _Really, truly.

_Kurt: _BLAINE! Room? Or not?

_Kurt: _I can tell procrastination when I see it, you know. I've employed it God knows how often enough. **(1) **

_Blaine: _I bet you haven't.

_Kurt: _Really, Blaine? Really? What do you think? Do you think I just get down to business every single night, or every single day, with all the schoolwork I have to do?

_Blaine: _Obviously.

_Kurt: _No. Just no. Can you answer the question? Redecoration?

_Blaine: _I'm just getting the blue paints. **(2) **

_Kurt: _Thank you! I love you!

_Blaine: _I love you too.

_Blaine: _Manipulative little bitch. ;)

_Kurt: _xx

**A/N: There we go. Kay. I'll get started on the next one now, shall I? :) **

**(1) I'm just going to do my bit for the campaign here. Kurt has said 'Oh my God' **_**at least **_**4 times across all the series on the show. Stop 'Oh my Gaga', 'Oh my Gucci' and 'Oh my Prada' in fanfics! He is an atheist – as am I – but it has become a very secular phrase, as has what the hell, or bloody hell (is that quite British? Or is that just me?). I said Oh my God, or something with that sentiment, at least 5 times in an hour. My friend counted. **

**STOP THE CULTURE RELATED 'SWEARING'! Cheers. **

**(2) Yes, this was a reference to a recent Chris Colfer tweet. Those who follow him know what I'm talking about. ;) **

**Review! Next one's coming around this time, give or take (depending on when I get in from school, how long it takes me to reply to all reviews and if I've finished writing the next one by the evening). **

**INU xx **


	37. Green

**A/N: And the winner of the 300 competition! **

**From Sunday morning on saturday: **_**This made me smile, yay smiling I guess since it's seactain [sic] na gaeilge AND st [sic] Patrick's week I guess I'm gonna prompt something along those [sic] lines of st [sic] Patrick's day [sic]. **_

**For those of you of non-Irish descent, or who don't know about Seachtain na Gaeilge, it's a two week festival in accordance with St. Patrick's Day, in order to celebrate Irish. (the language) **

**So yeah. :) **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own naught. **

_Blaine: _So, you know how I'm part Irish?

_Kurt: _Yes, I know how you're part Irish. And part Filipino, and part who knows what else.

_Blaine: _Shut up. Anyway, it's coming up to St Patrick's…

_Kurt: _Isn't that the day where you pinch everyone?

_Blaine: _It can be… that's not the most traditional of celebrations, though. Anyway, in Ireland, there's another festival. It's called Seachtain na Gaeilge.

_Kurt: _English?

_Blaine: _There really isn't one… well, you could say Irish Week, but that doesn't really cover the essence of it.

_Kurt: _Irish Week? I've never heard of it.

_Blaine: _That's because it's something that happens solely in Ireland. It's 12 days of celebrating the Irish language. Everything's in Irish, more or less.

_Kurt: _Oh, right… St. Patrick's Day!

_Blaine: _No, Kurt. It's not St. Patrick's yet – though it will be soon – and right now it's SnaG.

_Kurt: _But I don't want it to be SnaG. I want it to be Patrick's. GREEN!

_Blaine: _You've taken on completely the wrong messages here, you do realise.

_Kurt: _But Blaaaaaine. Everything's green. It's really cool.

_Blaine: _Yes… That's one perspective on it.

_Kurt: _I like green.

_Blaine: _I gathered.

_Kurt: _It's a cool colour.

_Blaine: _You do realise that's not the real reason behind St. Patrick's, right? He's the patron saint of Ireland, and it started as a feast day, but now is a celebration of Ireland and all that. That's why SnaG follows – it's a celebration of the language only.

_Kurt: _Buuuuut. Green?

_Blaine: _You really need to get your priorities straight.

_Blaine: _Ooh I feel clever.

_Blaine: _For once it's Kurt being the insane one. This feels weird. I don't like it!

_Kurt: _It's green. Greengreengreengreengreen.

_Blaine: _That sounds like something Kermit would say.

_Kurt: _There's a fine, fine lineeeeeeee…

_Blaine: _Are you sure you're not drunk?

_Kurt: _Not on alcohol. I'm drunk on greeeeeen. And St. Patrick :D

_Blaine: _You're drunk on a dead saint?

_Kurt: _Yep!

_Blaine: _OK, I'll be frank. That's just a bit weird, Kurt.

_Kurt: _No it's not. It's perfectly normal.

_Blaine: _No, Kurt. It's really not normal. You don't get drunk on someone. You get infatuated with someone, but that's usually more sexual, and I really doubt that you're infatuated with St. Patrick.

_Kurt: _I'm really not infatuated with him, Blaine. I'm just drunk on him.

_Blaine: _Seriously, Kurt. You can't be drunk on someone. That isn't even good English. Drunk only refers to alcohol.

_Kurt: _But in our more informal society, drunk has moved on from being just applicable to alcohol. For example, intoxicated means the same thing, and we often say we're intoxicated by someone. It just depends on the context.

_Blaine: _OK, and we're back to clever Kurt. Good to know.

_Kurt: _M'not clever.

_Blaine: _Do you want me to start talking in Irish? Because I can – and we're still in the middle of SnaG, so it would be relevant.

_Kurt: _But green?

_Blaine: _2 days to green.

_Kurt: _:(

_Blaine: _Tá ríméad ar Sheachtain na Gaeilge a fhógairt go mbeidh clár oifigiúl na Seachtaine, SULT, á eisiúint Dé Luain seo chugainn.

_Kurt: _Please stop. You know how much I hate it when I don't understand a word of what you write.

_Blaine: _I know you do. That's partially why I do it, you know.

_Blaine: _Oh, wow. Look at that. Both of us are still sane. That's a first.

_Kurt: _Not really. We're both perfectly capable of being sane and sober and unhyper at the same time. It's just very rare.

_Blaine: _Rare, but it does happen. As now.

_Kurt: _That's grammatically incorrect. As now needs a verb in it.

_Blaine: _But what if I don't _want _to put a verb in?

_Kurt: _That really doesn't matter. You kinda have to have a verb and subject in every sentence, regardless of what else goes in.

_Blaine: _No. Too complicated. Too grammatical.

_Kurt: _Too grammatical? You go to Dalton! How is that beyond your intelligence?

_Blaine: _Because today took it all out of me, and I have nothing left for intelligent thought afterwards.

_Kurt: _That's a bit of a cop out, don't you think?

_Blaine: _Nahhh.

_Kurt: _But anyway.

_Kurt: _GREEEEEEN.

_Blaine: _Two days. and I'll celebrate you in the American way. Not the Irish way, though I want to.

_Kurt: _Yayyyyy! Green!

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Blaine: _Green.

**A/N: Sorry, it was written really quickly, and I was on short time, so it may not be the best quality. **

**Thoughts? **

**Also – happy Klanniversary! **

**Review? Next one's coming tomorrow. 3 more days of this daily updates and we're back to Sundays (thank God. This is stressful writing quickly. I'm not used to it. :D NaNoWriMo would not suit me at **_**all**_**.) **

**INU xx **


	38. Video

**A/N: From Pottergirl1: **_**what [sic] if Blaine like, saw a video of Kurt on the Cheerios or something and Kurt is really embarrassed so Blaine like has to have an entire conversation with himself because Kurt won't answer is [sic] texts and then Kurt says he read the entire conversation and forgives Blaine and then they have a cute Klaine makeup moment maybe? **_

**Wow, OK. So the whole plot was written for me, which is nice. :) I'll try and work through it. Day 5 of my nonconventional Klaine Week. **

**Disclaimer: I own naught. **

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt!

_Kurt: _Hi Blaine. Why so cheery?

_Blaine: _Can't a person just be cheery?

_Kurt: _They can, but it's suspicious.

_Blaine: _Are you calling me suspicious?

_Kurt: _I rather think I am.

_Blaine: _Well, fair enough. Do you want to know why I'm so cheery?

_Kurt: _I'm dreading the answer, but I do.

_Blaine: _It's because your friends have some very interesting things.

_Kurt: _Things?

_Blaine: _Cinematographic things.

_Kurt: _Which cinematographic things?

_Blaine: _YESSSS I MADE YOU SAY CINEMATOGRAPHIC.

_Kurt: _Damnit. But anyway. Which films did they show you?

_Blaine: _Some very interesting ones. Very interesting performances. In uniform.

_Kurt: _Oh, no. They didn't.

_Blaine: _They did. They really, really did.

_Kurt: _This is not good. I am not happy with them. I am going to talk to them right now.

_Blaine: _Oh, please don't. It's not bad – really, it's not bad at all!

_Kurt: _Yes. It really really is. Trust me.

_Blaine: _And trust me, I really really enjoyed them.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but I bet you're just saying that. You're just saying that.

_Blaine: _I'm really really not just saying that. I did really really enjoy them.

_Kurt: _OK, stop saying really twice. It's getting a bit weird.

_Blaine: _Oh, is it?

_Kurt: _Yes. It really really is.

_Blaine: _But I was very entertained by the videos. I didn't know you liked Madonna.

_Blaine: _…

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Kurtie?

_Blaine: _Oh no.

_Blaine: _Please tell me I'm not here again.

_Blaine: _Kurt's gone, and I'm talking to myself again.

_Blaine: _You know, Blaine, the reasonable thing to do would be to just stop texting. That way I would save money, and Kurt would still think I'm sane.

_Blaine: _Nah. That's just dull. I'm not gonna do that. :)

_Blaine: _Heh.

_Blaine: _I must be so annoying. Like the most annoying person alive. I'm even annoying myself, and I wasn't even aware that was possible. But apparently it is, because I'm doing it. Wow. That's really really weird.

_Blaine: _And I really need to stop saying really twice in one sentence. Because it's getting seriously annoying.

_Blaine: _Like me. Which is why, I suppose, I say it. Isn't it?

_Blaine: _Oh no. Now I'm rambling. This is never a good sign.

_Blaine: _:( I'm depressed.

_Blaine: _Talk to meeeeeee.

_Blaine: _Kurtie? Please talk to me. I need talking to. Urgently. Before I go mad.

_Blaine: _Hopefully before I go mad. Because then you'd have an insane boyfriend on your hands, and I don't think you'd be very thrilled if _that _happened.

_Blaine: _I really don't think you'd be very happy at all.

_Blaine: _So yeah.

_Blaine: _I really need to learn a language.

_Blaine: _Does learning a language decrease insanity risks?

_Blaine: _I don't think it would.

_Blaine: _That was a stupid thing to say.

_Blaine: _Stupid Blaine.

_Blaine: _Oooowwww.

_Blaine: _Usually Kurt's there to stop me hitting myself over the head and injuring myself.

_Blaine: _Maybe permanently.

_Blaine: _But today he's not.

_Blaine: _Permanently? Maybe it's permanent.

_Blaine: _Oh God. What if it's permanent? What if I've just condemned myself to a lifetime of below average brain cells?

_Blaine: _This is why I need a boyfriend.

_Blaine: _And possibly a life.

_Blaine: _No, scratch that. I definitely need a life.

_Blaine: _This is what I have reduced myself to – rambling on and on about nothing. And wasting my money.

_Blaine: _Actually, it's my parents' money, so I don't care.

_Blaine: _I really don't care.

_Blaine: _I should probably be worried about the fact that I don't care what happens to my parents' money.

_Blaine: _But I don't.

_Blaine: _I probably would if they weren't bigots.

_Blaine: _Or possibly if I was straight.

_Blaine: _But if I was straight, I may be a big gay rights supporter.

_Blaine: _In which case I would have cared if they were bigots or not.

_Blaine: _But if I was straight, I may not have been born to them, but some other parents.

_Blaine: _And those other parents might not have been bigots.

_Blaine: _It just all goes round and round and round in a circle.

_Blaine: _:(

_Blaine: _So yes. I think I am going insane.

_Blaine: _That's just fantastic.

_Blaine: _I need to do something about that.

_Blaine: _Immediately.

_Blaine: _But am I?

_Blaine: _Probably not.

_Blaine: _Because I'm a clever person.

_Blaine: _But.

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _I'm sorry.

_Blaine: _I know you get embarrassed real easy, and wow, when did I turn into a Southerner?

_Blaine: _Anyway, I am sorry.

_Blaine: _And if you would talk to me and spare me from madness, then that would be so appreciated you have absolutely no idea.

_Blaine: _Really.

_Blaine: _Absolutely none.

_Kurt: _Blaine, you do realise that I've been here the entire time, right?

_Blaine: _Yeees…

_Kurt: _And you're adorable. You really are. It's not as if when I was grounded was ramble-time enough, was it?

_Kurt: _But seriously, how much do you _spend _on these texts?

_Blaine: _A bit. Some.

_Kurt: _Mmm hmm?

_Blaine: _So it's quite a bit. So what?

_Kurt: _So nothing.

_Blaine: _Good. :)

_Kurt: _You're hopeless. You're absolutely hopeless.

_Blaine: _ I know.

_Blaine: _But that's why you love me.

_Blaine: _Right?

_Blaine: _…

_Blaine: _Right?

_Kurt: _Right.

_Blaine: _Yayyy.

_Kurt: _Go to sleep, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Why? Don't wannaaaa.

_Kurt: _It's 3 a.m. I can already tell the early hour is making you weird. Your body always goes weird when you stay up late. Go to bed.

_Blaine: _Fiiine.

_Kurt: _…

_Kurt: _OK, I really didn't expect that to work.

_Kurt: _Seeing as it's only 8.

_Kurt: _I would have thought he'd notice. :)

_Kurt: _Cool.

**A/N: Sorry that it's late, but I had a friend round yesterday, and had no time to write! Here it is. Hopefully today's real one will go up later, or if not you'll get two tomorrow. **

**And that's it! Wow, this week has gone by really slowly. Yeah. **

**Review? Prompt? See you later! **

**INU xx **


	39. Cousin

**A/N: From GirlInTheMirror121: **_**How 'bout Blaine's (young) cousin "Taylor" (or another name that could be for a boy OR a girl) comes to visit and Kurt wants to give them a makeover. Blaine tries to tell Kurt that "Taylor" is a boy and would not like a makeover, but Kurt is already on his way with makeup and girly things. It's not until Kurt meets "Taylor" that he realizes his mistake. Blaine rags on him for it and Kurt is embarrassed. **_

**I kinda gave up on Klaine Week. But OH MY GOD GUYS I'M BACK! **

**Too many tests at school recently. And I'm in Easter now, which would indicate **

**Disclaimer: I own naught. **

_Kurt: _You coming around today?

_Blaine: _Sorry, can't.

_Kurt: _Why not? :(

_Blaine: _My cousin Casey's round. Have to be polite towards him.

_Kurt: _You mean her.

_Blaine: _Noooo…

_Kurt: _So I'll be coming round then?

_Blaine: _What?

_Kurt: _I'm coming round.

_Blaine: _If you want…

_Kurt: _Because obviously, if they're related to you, they haven't had a proper makeover yet. They might have had one, and be deluded that it is sufficient. But it isn't.

_Blaine: _He's really not going to like that…

_Kurt: _Is your 's' key not working today or something?

_Blaine: _No, it's working fine. But Casey's a boy.

_Kurt: _Nooo. Casey's a girls' name.

_Blaine: _It's both, Kurt.

_Blaine: _…

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Have you left already?

_Blaine: _You have, haven't you?

_Blaine: _Great. This isn't going to go well.

_Blaine: _Casey's not the friendliest person.

_Blaine: _He's nice enough, but he's not friendly, and a little stereotypical, and also quite judging on first looks.

_Blaine: _Not that that means anything – or indicates anything about you, Kurt, when you read this – but he might jump to conclusions.

_Blaine: _Just saying.

_Blaine: _And when he does, you won't be warned, because he most undoubtedly will jump to conclusions.

_Blaine: _And he also might not be the happiest with the whole makeover thing you've got there.

_Blaine: _But it's fine. You've never given me a makeover, so once you see he's a boy, I think you'll stop.

_Blaine: _But I'm going to warn you anyway.

_Blaine: _Just in order to keep you safe. It's got nothing to do with me or in order to spare me from any sort of embarrassment. Because you know that you don't embarrass me, that I'm not ashamed of you.

_Blaine: _It's purely to protect you.

_Blaine: _Promise.

_Blaine: _So, this is getting really awkward with Casey.

_Blaine: _I know I told you that it'd be better if you didn't come – or something along those lines, anyway – please hurry up.

_Blaine:_ And I can just tell you're going to be so annoyed with me when you get here.

_Blaine: _Because I know that you keep your phone in the little cup holdery thing by the gearstick.

_Blaine: _And you have text alerts on vibrate – why, I personally have no idea. But the option's there, and some people do it, so it must be liked. Also by you – obviously.

_Blaine: _And anyway. Your phone's going to be buzzing away because of these texts, and reverberating through the plastic.

_Blaine: _But because your dad's Burt Hummel, you won't touch that phone.

_Blaine: _Because he's raised you to not touch your phone until you've stopped driving. Not even at a light, because it could change any minute, or someone could slam into you, and you wouldn't be safe then.

_Blaine: _I'm so glad Burt Hummel's your dad. I couldn't bear it if you were admitted to hospital because you were looking at a text from me or were talking to me on the phone.

_Blaine: _Though if you were talking to me on the phone, I would be able to tell if you were in a crash or not and get aid to you faster.

_Blaine: _You can tell how awkward it is here, as I'm actually having a conversation and it feels more like a conversation than anything has before this. You know, with all my talking and blah.

_Blaine: _That made absolutely no sense. Anyway, back to my rambling.

_Blaine: _I know also that, because Cameron Anderson is my father.

_Blaine: _Not Burt Hummel. And because of that, I have not been brought up in a way that encourages maximum road safety and I won't feel like I will be burned alive if I break traffic laws.

_Blaine: _I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I don't want to worry you.

_Blaine: _It's probably just because it's really really awkward in here.

_Blaine: _You have no idea how awkward it is. Our parents keep insisting we talk and socialise with each other, but we have nothing to socialise about.

_Blaine: _Does that make sense? Does it count as proper grammatical English? I really hope so.

_Blaine: _That didn't make sense. Grammatical English is not a proper phrase.

_Blaine: _Do you see the pain I'm going through? I'm being reduced to bad English because of the awkwardness, that's how awkward it is!

_Blaine: _It is really really awkward.

_Blaine: _But I think you might experience it. You might experience more awkwardness, because I think that you are bringing your makeover kit.

_Blaine: _And because you're bringing your makeover kit, and you don't realise that Casey is a boy, and it'll be a red-faced affair for all of us, I think that the awkwardness will be increased tenfold.

_Blaine: _You're here! Yay! Save me from the awkwardness! Please, Kurt! :)

* * *

><p><em>Kurt: <em>Blaine.

_Blaine: _Hi.

_Kurt: _Why didn't you tell me? That was mortifying.

_Blaine: _I did try to tell you. You just didn't listen.

_Kurt: _:P

_Kurt: _But I think we have a more important issue to address right now, Blaine. Really.

_Blaine: _Really?

_Kurt: _Really really.

_Blaine: _And what might that more important issue to address be? Because I'm here, and I realise we're texting across the room because it's quite awkward, but yeah.

_Kurt: _You _text _while _driving_?

_Blaine: _Yes… occasionally… but only to you!

_Kurt: _And how exactly does that make it better?

_Blaine: _It just does, kay?

_Kurt: _No. Not kay.

_Blaine: _Why not kay? TT_TT

_Kurt: _Because it's really really dangerous, Blaine! I don't think you understand how dangerous it is! If someone's speeding at you, you have to have your full concentration to pull up early enough to survive a crash! If you don't, you could have fatal wounds! If you are concentrating, you might still be taken to hospital, and that would be hell enough for me, so please can you not make it any worse with the thought that you're putting yourself in danger just to answer a text that'll still be there when you stop driving? Please?

_Blaine: _Yeah… yeah, OK.

_Kurt: _Thank you.

_Kurt: _But just for the record, I do text and drive. I was raised by Burt Hummel – doesn't mean I am him.

_Blaine: _You bastard.

_Kurt: _;)

**A/N: Couldn't resist. **

**Apologies for my unexpected hiatus. And I know I strayed a little from the prompt here, but whatever. :) **

**Prompt and review? **

**INU xx **


	40. ManFlu

**A/N: From Vikki-Toria-94: **_**Can I suggest Blaine or Kurt getting Man-flu and moaning like mad pretending the worlds [sic] gonna end because he has a simple cold? **_

**Hello! **

**My dad gets the worst man-flu **_**ever**_**, so this is coming from first hand experience. :) Also, I don't know if this fic jumps around, if it goes chronologically, it might even go reverse chronologically… I have literally no idea. I just write it. **

**Heads up. ;) **

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. **

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Blaine: _Kuurt.

_Blaine: _Kuuuurt.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuuuurt.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrt.

_Kurt: _Yes?

_Blaine: _I'm ill. :(

_Kurt: _I really doubt that.

_Blaine: _I aaaaaaaam.

_Kurt: _Again. I really doubt that.

_Blaine: _Why do you really doubt that? It's true, promise!

_Kurt: _Blaine. It's the middle of summer. You've said it yourself. No-one ever gets ill in the middle of summer.

_Blaine: _Well I am! I am very very ill and I need your urgent nursing assistance.

_Kurt: _That was one time. I'm not going to come rushing to your aid every time you get sick. It happens a lot.

_Blaine: _But I'd come to yours!

_Kurt: _And I have done. The past 20 times. I've kept a log, Blaine, there's no use denying it, it has been exactly 20 times. And I never get sick, so I've never needed you to tend to me.

_Blaine: _That is true. Not sure about the 20 times thing, though…

_Kurt: _I'll show you the log next time I see you.

_Blaine: _How about in 30 minutes, when you come bearing the holy chicken noodle soup?

_Kurt: _How about not?

_Blaine: _But Kuuuuurt. I'm illllll.

_Kurt: _No, you're really not. You just really want to be because you know that I make the soup from scratch.

_Blaine: _And it's really good, Kurt. If we were talking on the phone, you'd hear me cough, because that's how ill I am.

_Kurt: _You're really not ill. Now stop texting and try doing something productive.

_Blaine: _But I'm meant to be at Warblers. And that would mean going down to the Warblers. And I'm definitely not well enough to cope with Wes and David.

_Kurt: _Well you should be.

_Blaine: _Well I'm not. So THERE.

_Kurt: _I bet you are. I bet you just don't want to go to Warblers.

_Blaine: _Of course I don't. Why would I, when I could stay up here, in my nice warm room, with a Modern Family marathon on and texting you?

_Kurt: _There's a Modern Family marathon on?

_Blaine: _Yes, on ABC. But that's not the point.

_Kurt: _No? What is the point then? Because it appears that the Mod Fam marathon was the point you were making just now.

_Blaine: _It really wasn't, Kurt. You just took it the wrong way. Got the wrong end of the stick, if you will.

_Kurt: _Really, not.

_Blaine: _Really, yes.

_Kurt: _This is pointless – like most things we do. But anyway. What was your question going to be – before we got sidetracked?

_Blaine: _We get sidetracked a lot.

_Kurt: _Still really not the point.

_Blaine: _Yes. I was going to ask you if you could possibly come round and nurse me?

_Kurt: _I've nursed you often enough in the past month, and you've undoubtedly got another low key cold. And so therefore, I'm going to sit here, nice and comfy.

_Blaine: _But I'm illlllll. :(

_Kurt: _You're really not ill.

_Blaine: _I really am. But how would you know if I'm ill or not if you're over in your house and I'm up here, being very very ill in mine.

_Kurt: _This condition has a name.

_Blaine: _Yes, it does! Influenza.

_Kurt: _Noooo. Man flu.

_Blaine: _Offensive.

_Kurt: _It's really not. It's kind of obvious that you do have man flu.

_Blaine: _That's offensive.

_Blaine: _And I don't have man flu!

_Kurt: _Blaine. You really really do.

_Blaine: _I need chicken noodle soup.

_Kurt: _You don't. You _need _to stop complaining and start revising for your endterms (**1**). Because I know that this is just you procrastinating and putting off the inevitable.

_Blaine: _I'm not procrastinating!

_Kurt: _You're pretending to be ill as an excuse to not revise. IF that isn't procrastination, I don't know what is.

_Blaine: _I promise you, it isn't procrastination.

_Kurt: _It really seems like it to me.

_Blaine: _Well it isn't.

_Kurt: _ So, which subjects have you studied for?

_Blaine: _Politics and Classical Studies!

_Kurt: _Yes?

_Blaine: _Yes! I watched The Ides of March and then The Three Musketeers.

_Kurt: _I really don't think The Three Musketeers counts…

_Blaine: _Not the new one – though it's really good – the '93 one. The one that sticks to Dumas' book really well.

_Kurt: _You do realise The Three Musketeers isn't classical, right? And also that The Ides of March isn't going to help you in your Politics exam, because there won't be a question on a fictional campaign.

_Blaine: _But it's set in Ohio!

_Kurt: _So? 

_Blaine: _So it automatically earns cool points with the question setters.

_Kurt: _It could be set in Dalton, they're still not going to assign a question on it.

_Blaine: _They might!

_Kurt: _They won't!

_Blaine: _I'm illlll.

_Kurt: _We're not back to this again, are we? You're not ill. So stop complaining, turn the DVDs off and start doing a little bit of work.

_Blaine: _But I've already done 4 hours of work!

_Kurt: _As I said before. Watching films does not constitute sufficient revision.

_Blaine: _But they were educational. Oh, I know what'll help!

_Kurt: _What? I'm feeling a little dubious about this, to be honest…

_Blaine: _I'll watch Clash of the Titans! That's definitely more relating to the topics I've got to know!

_Kurt: _I give up. I give up on you. There is literally no way you're going to do some proper work, is there?

_Blaine: _Exams are ages away. Relax! And nope.

_Kurt: _I give up.

**A/N: :D **

**They're coming up for me in about 7 weeks. Hell. Really. They are hell. I've already started revising (kinda feeling like Hermione Granger, actually… :D)**

**Prompt and review? **

**INU xx **


	41. Riff Raff

**A/N: From WaitingForAKiss: **_**the [sic] only thing that springs to mind is Blaine and Kurt Discussing [sic] The Rocky Horror fiasco, and Blaine keeps on thinking Kurt's one of the ruder characters. **_

**I don't know that much about RH, so I'll try to do this as best as possible, but… just let any mistakes about the plot slide, if you will? ;)**

**Updating early this week just cos I can. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Kurt: _Hi Blaine.

_Blaine: _I really like you.

_Kurt: _I should think so. What with we're going out and all that.

_Kurt: _Wait…

_Kurt: _What do you want?

_Blaine: _Moi? O:)

_Kurt: _Yeah right. You've never been angelic. You've always got an ulterior motive.

_Blaine: _Me? Ulterior motive? I have no idea who you're talking about, or which Blaine Anderson you know, because the Blaine Anderson _I _know has never had an ulterior motive in his life.

_Kurt: _Nor has he ever been vain.

_Blaine: _Obviously.

_Kurt: _You can be really annoying sometimes, you do realise.

_Blaine: _Never.

_Kurt: _Hah.

_Blaine: _I am never annoying. I am the Being of Non-Annoyingness.

_Kurt: _You… I cannot believe you just said that.

_Blaine: _I didn't just say it.

_Kurt: _Yes… you did. The proof is up there.

_Blaine: _I didn't say it. I typed it. :D

_Kurt: _No-one likes an arrogant bastard.

_Blaine: _M'not an arrogant bastard. *wounded*

_Kurt: _Oh God.

_Blaine: _Damned as thou art, thou hast enchanted her, / For I'll refer me to all things of sense, / If she in chains of magic were not bound, / Whether a maid so tender, fair, and happy, / So opposite to marriage that she shunned / The wealthy curlèd darlings of our nation, / Would ever have, t'incur a general mock, / Run from her guardage to the sooty bosom / Of such a thing as thou – to fear, not to delight. / Judge me the world, if 'tis not gross in sense/ That thou hast practised on her with foul charms, / Abused her delicate youth with drugs or minerals / That weakens motion. I'll have't disputed on; / 'Tis probable and palpable to thinking.

_Kurt: _What was the point of that?

_Blaine: _*shrug* Felt like it.

_Kurt: _What were you quoting from? Because that was obviously a quote.

_Blaine: Obviously _a quote? You insult my intelligence.

_Kurt: _I just don't believe you write a poem in 17th century language.

_Blaine: _Othello, Shakespeare.

_Kurt: _Was a wild guess, but cheers.

_Blaine: _:P

_Blaine: _But also.

_Kurt: _Oh, are we finally done with procrastinating and back to the beginning?

_Blaine: _I don't procrastinate!

_Kurt: _You just typed out a Shakespeare passage. On your phone.

_Blaine: _Yes. Yes I did. But anyway. I was talking to Quinn.

_Kurt: _That's not a promising start…

_Blaine: _You like Quinn!

_Kurt: _Yes, but when you're involved, I really don't. This is going to lead to something at my expense.

_Blaine: _:O

_Blaine: _It kinda does, but still.

_Kurt: _Oh no. What did Quinn tell you about?

_Blaine: _Your junior year musical.

_Kurt: _Oh, no.

_Blaine: _Oh yes. And she was telling me about some interesting casting.

_Kurt: _How many casting decisions did she tell you about, exactly?

_Blaine: _Two.

_Kurt: _So you know about Schu's original decision for me?

_Blaine: _Oh yes. Oh yesity yesity yes.

_Kurt: _The fact that you can communicate such a smug tone through a text is ridiculous.

_Blaine: _;)

_Kurt: _Now it just looks creepy.

_Blaine: _;D

_Kurt: _Even creepier.

_Blaine: _But then the second decision was even better, imho.

_Kurt: _Oh, no.

_Blaine: _And then – you'd never guess what happened next!

_Kurt: _You saw photos?

_Blaine: _No. No no no. Even better than photos. Quinn managed to get a recording.

_Kurt:_ Oh God.

_Blaine: _It made for some interesting viewing.

_Kurt: _I bet it did.

_Blaine: _Who designed the costumes?

_Kurt: _Don't even go there, Blaine Anderson. Don't even go there.

_Blaine: _I can if I want to.

_Kurt: _No. You really really can't.

_Blaine: _If I wanted to I could. And I think I do,.

_Kurt: _You couldn't, and you don't.

_Blaine: _But…

_Kurt: _No. Shut up. You couldn't, and you don't.

_Blaine: _That depends.

_Kurt: _It depends on nothing except me. Your _boyfriend_, in case you'd forgotten.

_Blaine: _Funnily enough, I hadn't.

_Kurt: _You're meant to stick by me.

_Blaine: _And I do… ?

_Kurt: _Acting like this doesn't indicate it.

_Blaine: _Oooh, who's bitter?

_Kurt: _I'm not bitter. I'm just annoying that I can't rely on my boyfriend even to be on my side.

_Blaine: _Am too on your side.

_Kurt: _Mature, Blaine. Mature.

_Blaine: _Mature's my middle name.

_Kurt: _Doesn't seem that way.

_Blaine: _Now who's not being on whose side?

_Kurt: _Moi? O:)

_Blaine: _TOI.

_Kurt: _I find you very offensive. I find you extremely offensive, and I don't think you're worth dating.

_Blaine: _And he calls me offensive.

_Kurt:_ Have to fight offense with offense.

_Blaine: _It's really not necessary.

_Kurt: _I think it is.

_Blaine: _Well I thought that it really wasn't. Anyway – you were _Riff-Raff_?

_Kurt: _I'm seeing a recurring theme with what they're letting you in to see.

_Blaine: _Riff-Raff!

_Kurt: _Better than being Frank-N-Furter.

_Blaine: _You were Riff-Raff. In Rocky Horror.

_Blaine: _Wait, how did your school get permission to do that in the first place?

_Kurt: _Oh, they didn't. It was a misguided attempt from Schu to get Emma back from her hot dentist boyfriend.

_Blaine: _Hot dentist boyfriend, eh?

_Kurt: _Who could pass as the twin of John Stamos.

_Blaine: _Not that hot, then.

_Kurt: _Nah.

_Blaine: _But aren't they together now?

_Kurt: _Yep.

_Blaine: _Your school's gossip confuses me a lot, Kurt. Especially regarding Finn.

_Kurt: _It confuses everyone. If you're not there in the moment, retelling it makes it seem so ridiculous and petty.

_Blaine: _It is kinda ridiculous and petty.

_Kurt: _So were you, at one point. You were a gossip point once, what with Jeremiah… and Rachel…

_Blaine: _We promised to never bring those up, Kurt. Remember?

_Kurt: _You promised. I never said anything. ;)

_Blaine: _But that's because you made me promise.

_Kurt: _Precisely.

_Kurt: _Do you honestly think I don't plan it all out?

_Blaine: _So, Riff-Raff was planned, then?

_Kurt:_ I hate you so much right now.

_Blaine: _Happy to help.

**A/N: Yay. **

**I just want to say this here, because it's been annoying me for a long time – it's essentially a rant about some other stories on here, so feel free to skip over this. ;) **

**I go to an all-girls school. My headmistress has sons of her own – grown up, but that's not the point – if they were school age, you can be **_**sure **_**that they would never be allowed to come to the school. **

**So all these 'a girl goes to Dalton' etc are so grossly ridiculous that it grates against me. And yes, I understand that you want your OC to be besties with Klaine or whatever it is, but really. Have them go to McKinley if you're that steadfast on them being friends at school. **

**Yes. Apologies for that. :D It's been nagging me for a while. Also (sorry for the self-promotion here), if anyone is a fan of Sebastian, I have a new Seb one-shot (with chances of getting a one-shot written for you, read the story and you'll see what I mean ;) ) about Sebastian being reflective on the past half-year. It's kinda my warming up to the return of Glee (!). So yeah. Read it!**

**ALSO! I now have a Tumblr. bluelilacflame(.)tumblr(.)com  
>Come join the party. :) I'll be rambling, answering any questions and just generally chatting. I'll also be more likely to answer any questions you have about any of my fics on Tumblr than on here. :D <strong>

**Review & prompt? **

**INU xx **


	42. High

**A/N: From janie17: **_**You should do another one where he is high on sugar. **_

**OK. It was the one where they were in the park. Can't be bothered to find it. :) **

**This was great fun to write. Probably too much fun.**

**But all the Klaine feels from the spoilers. And I won't get to see it 'til Wednesday. :( **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Blaine: _Hey, Kurt.

_Blaine: _Hey, Kurtikins.

_Blaine: _Hey. Kurt Kurt Kurt.

_Blaine: _Hey. Hey Kurt.

_Blaine: _Hey.

_Blaine: _Kurt!

_Blaine: _Hey Kurt!

_Blaine: _Kurrrrrt.

_Blaine: _So Kurt.

_Blaine: _You know how I love you?

_Blaine: _KURT.

_Blaine: _Don't you love me too?

_Blaine: _I don't think you do.

_Blaine: _I think I'm just laying out my heart for nothing.

_Kurt: _Blaine, seriously, shut up.

_Blaine: _But you don't love me anymore. :( I'm a loveless being.

_Kurt: _You're not a loveless being. Anyway, that's bad grammar.

_Blaine: _No it's not.

_Kurt: _In your context it is. You're saying that you don't love, not that you aren't loved.

_Blaine: _You confuse my head.

_Kurt: _I know I do. I often confuse you.

_Kurt: _But it's fine, because you confuse me more.

_Blaine: _No! I always make perfect sense!

_Kurt: _Blaine, are you drunk?

_Blaine: _ Offensive. I never get drunk.

_Kurt: _…

_Kurt: _I beg to differ.

_Blaine: _I have not gotten drunk in the past 6 months!

_Kurt: _Yes. And obviously you've only been alive 6 months.

_Blaine: _Obviously.

_Blaine: _So therefore I've never been drunk.

_Kurt: _You're hopeless sometimes. You really are.

_Blaine: _M'not hopeless.

_Blaine: _You're full of offense today.

_Kurt: _You're full of alcohol.

_Blaine: _I DON'T DRINKKKKKK.

_Blaine: _I don't like this abuse.

_Blaine: _I think we should just break up.

_Blaine: _Then you wouldn't be able to abuse me anymore.

_Blaine: _Or you could just go to the naughty corner.

_Blaine: _I like that plan.

_Blaine: _I like that plan muchlys.

_Kurt: _Muchlys? I can see why you got an A in your English grades.

_Blaine: _Yes. I am very good at English.

_Blaine: _I should just go to England and teach everyone.

_Blaine: _Especially those people at Oxford.

_Blaine: _They know nothing.

_Kurt: _The English professors at Oxford University?

_Blaine: _Yeah. Them.

_Kurt: _Wow. OK. You want to go to England to teach proper English to the English professors at Oxford.

_Blaine: _Mmm hmm. Cos I'm cool.

_Kurt: _But on the bright side, you're getting a little more sober.

_Blaine: _I'M NOT DRUNK.

_Kurt: _Sure you're not.

_Blaine: _M'not Kurt. :(

_Kurt: _Kay. You're not drunk. Just a druggie.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuuurt.

_Kurt: _Would you rather be drunk or a druggie?

_Blaine: _Drunk.

_Kurt: _Thought so. You're drunk.

_Blaine: _Fine. I don't like you.

_Kurt: _Getting déjà vu here.

_Blaine: _Ooooh are you?

_Kurt: _Should have known you'd act like this.

_Blaine: _SQUIRRELS.

_Kurt: _Squirrels in Ohio in winter?

_Blaine: _Yes. Lotsa lotsa squirrels.

_Kurt: _So, you know this thing going to England and teaching the Oxford professors proper English?

_Kurt: _I don't think you're quite ready to do that yet.

_Blaine: _Yes I am! I'm an expert in English! I'd get into Harvard right now. For English.

_Kurt: _Sure. Just need to study a bit.

_Blaine: _No. I wouldn't need to go to any lectures.

_Kurt: _They probably have an attendance policy.

_Blaine: _Well I wouldn't need to pay any attention to them.

_Kurt: _You're getting awful cocky.

_Blaine: _I'm nOTTTTTTT.

_Kurt: _Was the typo intentional?

_Blaine: _Perfectly.

_Blaine: _Squirrels.

_Blaine: _Heh.

_Blaine: _Kurtie?

_Blaine: _Kurtie? Do you know what I like?

_Blaine: _Apart from you. But I don't like you that much anyway.

_Kurt: _Charming. What do you like?

_Kurt: _And if you say squirrels…

_Blaine: _SQUIRRELS!

_Blaine: _Hah. I said squirrels. What are you going to do?

_Blaine: _I said what are you going to do?

_Blaine: _You know it's very rude to ignore people.

_Blaine: _It's hideously rude and you're doing it.

_Blaine: _You're being hideously rude, Kurtie.

_Blaine: _Hideously rude.

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Kurti?

_Blaine: _Kurrrtiiii.

_Blaine: _I've been abandoned.

_Blaine: _I'm all ALONE.

_Blaine: _Allein.

_Blaine: _That's German.

_Blaine: _Cos I'm cool.

_Blaine: _I wonder what squirrel is in German…

_Blaine: _That would be awesomely awesomely cool.

_Blaine: _That would be the best word ever.

_Blaine: _But I'm still all ALONE.

_Blaine: _:'(

_Blaine: _I am doomed to be alone forever.

_Blaine: _Even with my awesome English knowledge. I'm still going to teach those silly teachers at Oxford.

_Blaine: _But I suppose it's alright.

_Blaine: _Because I have my squirrelly friends.

_Blaine: _And they'll love me forever.

_Blaine: _They're very cuddly.

_Blaine: _And they don't bite at all. :D

_Kurt: _Are you cuddling a squirrel?

_Blaine: _I'M NOT ALONE!

_Blaine: _But I'm not talking to you.

_Blaine: _Because you abandoned me.

_Blaine: _But luckily my squirrels stayed beside me in my time of need.

_Blaine: _They're my true friends.

_Kurt: _So you'll be wanting to date them instead.

_Blaine: _Obviously. I don't like you anymore.

_Kurt: _Kay. That's fine with me. Let's break up.

_Blaine: _Good.

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Kurt: _Yeah?

_Blaine: _I really didn't mean to break up with you. Really.

_Kurt: _I know. :)

_Blaine: _Oh, thank God.

_Kurt: _Wait, are you normal Blaine again?

_Blaine: _Yeah. I was hyper, not drunk.

_Blaine: _I don't get that drunk!

_Kurt: _If a gay boy gets drunk enough to convince himself he fancies a girl, that is quite drunk.

_Blaine: _Please just let that go.

_Kurt: _Nope! Not on your life.

_Blaine: _Humph.

_Kurt: _How many boxes of Nerds did you have?

_Blaine: _A few.

_Kurt: _How many is a few, exactly?

_Blaine: _It's a few.

_Kurt: _And that would be?

_Blaine: _Don't wanna say.

_Kurt: _And we're back to hyper Blaine.

_Blaine: _:P

**A/N: Just, cos, Red Vines are overdone. :) **

**And Nerds are awesome. **

**(Anyone else do the Day of Silence on Friday?)**

**That is all. **

**Prompt/review? **

**INU xx **


	43. Sleep

**A/N: From GirlInTheMirror121: **_**I want Kurt to end up sleep-texing [sic] Blaine. I mean, Chris Colfer already has issues with sleep ("I do all sorts of fun things when I'm unconscious"). Why not Kurt? :D **_

**As soon as I read this prompt, one word jumped into my head – those of you who've seen the earlier interviews might know what I'm talking about, and what this is going to be about. **

**The ones who don't, it'll soon become obvious. **

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Kurt: _Yeah?

_Blaine: _Quick question.

_Kurt: _Fire.

_Blaine: _Did you order a lifesize cardboard cutout of me from… ?

_Kurt: _No. Why would I do that?

_Blaine: _I don't know. But one just arrived.

_Blaine: _And unless I have a stalker…

_Kurt: _You might have a stalker.

_Blaine: _I'm pretty sure I don't. There's a note on it which says 'Love you'.

_Kurt: _They could be a creepy stalker.

_Kurt: _I'm sorry, that was an unnecessary pleonasm. All stalkers are creepy.

_Kurt: _But you know what I mean.

_Blaine: _That I have an obsessed stalker?

_Kurt: _Also a pleonasm.

_Kurt: _Is there a non-pleonastic adjective you can add to stalker?

_Blaine: _I really don't know. But it's definitely not a stalker. Unless their name begins with K.

_Kurt: _I definitely didn't send it!

_Kurt: _I have absolutely no memory of sending it.

_Kurt: _Unless…

_Blaine: _Unless what?

_Kurt: _Unless I was sleep-shopping again.

_Kurt: _Though I could have sworn I was just… sleeping. I wasn't shopping in my dreams, so I thought I wouldn't be shopping really.

_Blaine: _Sleep shopping?

_Kurt: _Yeah. Often if I have a dream that I'm shopping online, chances are I'm actually at my computer, still fast asleep, but shopping. And I've managed to get some weird, and _expensive, _stuff.

_Blaine: _Sleep… shopping.

_Kurt: _That's what I just said, Blaine. I sleep shop.

_Kurt: _Sleepwalking's so overdone.

_Blaine: _I cannot believe you're a person. I actually can't believe it.

_Kurt: _So I sleep shop. What's the big deal?

_Blaine: _You sleep shop. That's the whole point. _No-one _else, on Earth, does.

_Kurt: _It's more common than you make it out to be.

_Blaine: _It's really not, Kurt.

_Kurt: _Fine. So what if it's not? I sleep shop. Get used to it.

_Blaine: _Oh, this is brilliant. This is absolutely hilarious. Kurt Hummel, the composed, always put-together diva, _sleep shops_.

_Kurt: _I am aware that I sleep shop, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Heeeeh.

_Kurt: _Are you cackling?

_Blaine: _I am. I am cackling because this is just pure gold.

_Kurt: _I really need to stop giving you this ammo.

_Blaine: _Please, please don't. This just made my week.

_Kurt: _Yes, alright, Blaine. I get it. It's funny.

_Blaine: _It's more than just funny. It's bloody hilarious.

_Kurt: _It's not! It's a legit disease!

_Blaine: _I really doubt that it's classed as a disease. Do you have a medical opinion on it?

_Kurt: _No, but…

_Blaine: _I bet you do. I bet you've talked to Carole about it, but she's disagreed with your diagnosis and you just don't want to say that she's disagreed.

_Blaine: _What did Carole say?

_Kurt: _That it doesn't count.

_Blaine: _Toooold you.

_Kurt: _There's no need to sound so smug.

_Blaine:_ There really really is.

_Kurt: _I really doubt that there is.

_Kurt:_ Have you received anything else?

_Blaine: _No. Though the pants-less cardboard cutout is a nice addition to my living room.

_Kurt: _IT'S A DISEASE. IT'S A REAL INFLICTION AND I'D THANK YOU TO NOT MAKE FUN OF IT.

_Kurt: _You wouldn't make fun of cancer, would you?

_Blaine: _I wasn't making fun. I was stating a fact.

_Blaine: _1. Cancer is a serious medical diagnosis. 2. You don't have a disease. 3. It is impossible to die from your situation, and of embarrassment doesn't count. 4. Yours is just funny.

_Kurt: _Fine. Be logical, then.

_Blaine: _I will be. :)

_Kurt: _I really don't like you very much right now.

_Blaine: _I'd gathered.

_Kurt: _I really don't like you very much right now.

_Blaine: _I know. But it's fine. :) You'll get over it.

_Kurt: _Your attitude is just… hideous.

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Kurt: _Oh no.

_Blaine: _Why are animals singing Candles from my computer?

_Kurt: _I don't know.

_Kurt: _I don't even want to know what I did.

_Blaine: _How do you know it was you? Sleep-whatevering?

_Kurt: _Who else could it be? Plus, Candles.

_Blaine: _Fair point.

_Kurt: _Is it just me, or is it raining?

_Blaine: _Kurt… it's 1pm… in July… in the Midwest… why would it be raining?

_Kurt: _Must be… my… dream…

_Blaine: _Wait.

_Blaine: _Was all of that…

_Blaine: _That's not possible.

_Blaine: _I swear that's not possible.

XxXxX

_Kurt:_ Hi Blaine!

_Blaine: _When did you wake up?

_Kurt: _1:30 ish? I only went to bed at 3am though.

_Blaine: _That's not possible.

_Blaine: _How the hell do you text while sleeping, Hummel?

_Kurt: _Dunno.

_Kurt: _Apparently my unconscious self thinks it's a disease.

_Kurt: _My conscious self agrees.

_Blaine: _You are unbelievable.

_Kurt: _;)

**A/N: TUMBLR IS bluelilacflame. **

**Review and prompt? **

**Imogen xx **


	44. Tumblr

**A/N: From arwenisawench: **_**Blaine has discovered tumblr [sic], and wants Kurt to get one and follow him. **_

**This'll be interesting. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _Hiiii.

_Blaine: _Hiiii Kurt.

_Blaine: _Hiii. I love you lots and lots and lots.

_Kurt: _See, I really can't tell if you want something or you're just high on medicine. I wasn't aware you had to have loopy-inducing medicine, so I'm just gonna assume you want something.

_Blaine: _Offensive.

_Blaine: _But yes. I do have a suggestion for you.

_Kurt: _I am not getting you an Easter egg when Easter comes around, if it's about that again. They're just massive tooth-rotting piles of chocolate flavoured sugar.

_Blaine: _But they're so good!

_Blaine: _Anyway, you'll like this. It won't impair your health at all.

_Kurt: _But it'll impair something else.

_Kurt: _I'll keep it fair, just for you.

_Kurt: _No passing judgement until you finish your sales pitch.

_Blaine: _Thank you!

_Blaine: _There's a craze that's been going around for a while, and recently I also jumped onto the bandwagon.

_Kurt: _And you think that I should so?

_Blaine: _Essentially. Tumblr!

_Kurt: _Oh, God no. Anything but Tumblr. Tumblr is the bane of the devil.

_Blaine: _It's not that bad!

_Kurt: _It doesn't count as a blogging platform! You just repost stuff other people have reposted that other people have reposted that other people have reposted…

_Kurt: _No. Absolutely not. I'm not joining you on Tumblr.

_Blaine: _But if you did, we could have fanmail chats and it would be so cool!

_Kurt: _Fanmail?

_Blaine: _Fanmail!

_Kurt: _I really don't like the sound of that at all.

_Blaine: _Tough.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Kurt: _If I know one thing that's going to come out of this conversation, it's that I'm not going to be on Tumblr.

_Blaine: _Kuuuuuuuuuuuuurt. :(

_Kurt: _I can't see you. Your puppy eyes do not work on me today.

_Blaine: _Oh, so you're admitting that they do work on you on separate occasions?

_Kurt: _No. I'm not admitting anything of the sort.

_Blaine: _I rather think you are.

_Blaine: _I do rather think you are.

_Kurt: _I'm really not.

_Blaine: _You're just trying to lie and hide behind technology.

_Blaine: _I'm onto you, Hummel.

_Blaine: _Technology can't hide you forever.

_Blaine: _Technology can't hide you for very long, as I'm seeing you on Friday anyway.

_Kurt: _Are you?

_Blaine: _Yes, Kurt. I'm coming up for the long weekend.

_Kurt: _Oh yeah.

_Blaine: _Well done. I'm glad you remembered.

_Kurt: _Shut up. You are actually a master of distraction, I've only just worked out.

_Kurt: _This is how you've managed to manipulate so many conversations your way.

_Kurt: _You just distract me.

_Blaine: _Well, yeah. Isn't that what you do, too?

_Blaine: _I was under the impression that this wasn't news.

_Blaine: _Because you have done it so often.

_Kurt: _I have not!

_Blaine: _You really have.

_Kurt: _You're full of insults today.

_Blaine: _So you'll want to rant about it on Tumblr, then?

_Kurt: _No.

_Kurt: _Trust me when I say that is the last thing I want to do.

_Kurt: _I'll rant like a normal person.

_Kurt: _To my friends or family, face to face.

_Kurt: _Not over the Internet, when anyone can see it.

_Kurt: _I'm not going to rant to strangers.

_Kurt: _That's just weird.

_Blaine: _You can post it privately.

_Blaine: _So no-one except you can see it.

_Kurt: _No, Blaine. I am not joining Tumblr.

_Blaine: _Oh, please, Kurt? Just to appease me? You can join just to follow me, if you want. You don't have to follow anyone else.

_Kurt: _No, Blaine. I refuse to put all my troubles onto a webpage.

_Blaine: _You get your own URL.

_Kurt: _Yes?

_Blaine: _You'd be one step closer to being a star.

_Kurt: _Why does having my own URL mean that?

_Blaine: _All stars have their own website. You could even make your stage name the title.

_Kurt: _You're an idiot.

_Blaine: _But a loveable one?

_Kurt: _Yes. You're a very loveable idiot.

_Blaine: _Will you join Tumblr?

_Kurt: _Again, no.

_Blaine: _Oh, please.

_Blaine: _Pretty, pretty please.

_Blaine: _I really want you to.

_Blaine: _Stupid boyfriend.

_Blaine: _Why'd you have to choose to be so stubborn now?

_Kurt: _I cannot believe that just happened.

_Blaine: _Well it did.

_Blaine: _So deal with it.

_Kurt: _You're acting like a petulant child, Blaine. Stop it.

_Blaine: _No.

_Blaine: _If I want to be a petulant child, I'll be a petulant child!

_Blaine: _And there's nothing you can do to stop it.

_Blaine: _Trust me.

_Kurt: _Yes, I know.

_Blaine: _I love you. :)

_Kurt: _Still not joining Tumblr!

_Blaine: _Kurt! I have done literally _everything_.

_Kurt: _Yes, I know.

_Blaine: _And still you won't join.

_Kurt: _Nope.

_Blaine: _Is there absolutely no persuading you?

_Kurt: _Absolutely none.

_Blaine: _Even if I promise you lotsa make outs if you do?

_Kurt: _Even if.

_Blaine: _God.

_Blaine: _That used to work.

_Kurt: _Yes. Yes it did.

_Blaine: _:P

_Blaine: _I'm going now.

_Kurt: _Are you going to sulk on Tumblr?

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Blaine: _Yes I am.

_Kurt: _Byeee.

**A/N: Bit rushed, I know. **

**Review? **

**Imogen xx **


	45. Ice Cream

**A/N: From OnceUponATime. TheEnd: **_**Ice cream**_

**Apologies it's been so long. Exams and all that. **

**I've also had to throw some prompts out, because they didn't really work, however hard I tried. Sorry if I threw out one of yours. :( **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Blaine: _I love you.

_Blaine: _You're the best boyfriends in the history of boyfriends.

_Blaine: _Ever.

_Blaine: _If they did a survey, you'd come out on top with a massive majority.

_Blaine: _And you're the most awesome person I know.

_Blaine: _Ever.

_Blaine: _And I love you.

_Blaine: _I love you so much.

_Blaine: _You're the best person ever.

_Blaine: _Honest to God, you are the best person ever.

_Blaine: _Better than perfect.

_Kurt: _As much as I'm enjoying the ego stroking, what do you want?

_Blaine: _That is an insult in the highest form, Kurt Hummel. Who says that I want something to want to shower you with compliments?

_Kurt:_ Because absolutely no conversation about either of our self-esteems came before all that, and you never do something just because. You always have a reason.

_Kurt: _Ergo, you want something.

_Blaine: _It's still the height of insult.

_Kurt: _However, I am correct.

_Blaine: _Fine, you got me.

_Kurt: _HAH. I knew a lucky guess would pay off once in a while.

_Blaine: _You're a cruel, cruel person, Kurt Hummel.

_Kurt: _What? I thought I was the best boyfriend in the history of boyfriends, the most awesome person you knew and the best person ever?

_Blaine: _Very funny. You're fooling no-one with your not-really wit, you do realise?

_Kurt: _You wound me so! :O

_Blaine: _No. You're still not funny. Not at all. I don't like you at all. Nope.

_Kurt: _Butttttt.

_Blaine: _You're a horrible person.

_Kurt: _What was it you wanted?

_Blaine: _Ice cream! We should go down to Dairy Haus and get some.

_Kurt: _Blaine. It is February.

_Blaine: _So?

_Kurt: _The warmest it gets is around 40. And you want _ice cream? _

_Blaine: _It's ice cream.

_Kurt: _It's 40 degrees. Let that sink in a bit.

_Blaine: _And?

_Kurt: _You see no problem with having ice cream, outside, at 40? Will it even be open?

_Blaine: _It's ice cream. Nowhere ever closes if they sell ice cream.

_Kurt: _You are ridiculous. I'm not going to have ice cream in February. _40 degrees, Blaine_.

_Blaine: _What? I like ice cream.

_Kurt: _Yes, Blaine. I know you do.

_Blaine: _Ice cream's awesome.

_Kurt: _I know you think so. The rest of the human population don't have such strong attractions towards frozen dairy produce. Especially in Ohio in February.

_Blaine: _That makes me sound weird. I'm not attracted to ice cream.

_Kurt: _No, darling, of course not. You just have a really _really _strong love of it.

_Blaine: _You're always so mean to me.

_Kurt: _I think you'll find I have a perfect meanness to operate in society. You're just too nice.

_Blaine: _I can be mean!

_Kurt: _Blaine. You practically burst into tears when you saw a bee that had a missing wing.

_Blaine: _So I like animals. Sue me.

_Blaine: _Ice cream?

_Kurt: _Nobody's stopping you going.

_Blaine: _I'm going to get you an ice cream anyway. So really, it's either you choose your poison or I do. And I wouldn't recommend me choosing. I can get awfully spiteful.

_Kurt: _No you can't.

_Blaine: _I can, actually! Just ask Cooper.

_Kurt: _He's your brother. It's an unwritten rule that the baby brother is meant to be spiteful.

_Blaine: _I resent that.

_Kurt: _Just saying.

_Blaine: _You're always just saying. It's your excuse to insult me in any way you want.

_Kurt: _But I'm your boyfriend, so it's all OK. ;)

_Blaine: _Oh, please God no. Not that smiley face.

_Kurt: _Why?

_Blaine: _You don't understand. It's the creepiest face. It looks like a perv wink.

_Kurt: _You have a weird mind.

_Blaine: _Wes & David agree with me!

_Kurt: _Why, then, by all means, it must be correct. I mean, if _Wes and David _agree…

_Blaine: _You're one of the meanest people I've ever met.

_Kurt: _I know.

_Blaine: _Dairy Haus. Get down here or I'm getting you Rocky Road.

_Kurt: _You wouldn't dare.

_Blaine: _Watch me.

_Kurt: _Fine, fine. I'm coming.

_Blaine: _Good. You're a darling sometimes, you do know that?

_Kurt: _And I hate you.

**:) **

**Imogen xx **


	46. LLF

**A/N: From OnceUponATime. TheEnd: **_**Literature **_

**And we're back to our normal updating schedule. Yay :) I was blitzing through Veronica Mars, didn't really write. But I finished the show, **_**and **_**I'm going to Cornwall for the next week (hence the early update) so lots of time for writing. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Kurt: _You.

_Blaine: _Me? What about me? What have I done now?

_Kurt: _You like books.

_Blaine: _I like some books. I'm not exactly going to go through Chaucer in one sitting, but yes. I do like books.

_Kurt: _So you like literature.

_Blaine: _My previous point still stands. I'm not Chaucer's biggest fan, but I do like reading.

_Kurt: _Please come with me to the LLF.

_Blaine: _I know I'm going to regret this, but what is the LLF?

_Kurt: _Lima Literature Fair. Please come. Please please please.

_Kurt: _Look I'm begging.

_Kurt: _Surely there's some compassion in your heart for it.

_Blaine: _I'm sure I'll regret this too, but what exactly is it

_Kurt: _It's essentially a marketing fair for emerging authors. They have their own stall for promoting their book, there are panels which they use for extra marketing space,, and it looks deathly boring.

_Kurt: _I wouldn't be going, but Finn conned me into it. Apparently it's something Carole does in memory of Christopher, and she's dragged him along to every single one since he died.

_Blaine: _But he wasn't your dad… there's no reason for you to be going.

_Kurt: _I know. But he just asked me whether I wanted to go to the LLF this year, and before I could say anything, he said 'cool', shoved the ticket into my hand and sprinted off. There was no time to do anything.

_Blaine: _Just go tell Carole.

_Kurt: _Blaine. I know you and Cooper were disassociated a lot of your childhood, but really. You can't do that.

_Kurt: _I would be known as what we call a tattle-tale.

_Blaine: _OK, maybe not. But just talk to him. Tell him that you shouldn't be going – after all, there is no sentimental value in this for you, but there should be for him.

_Kurt: _When did you get so deep?

_Blaine: _I've always been deep. You just haven't appreciated my true potential.

_Kurt: _… No, I don't think that's it.

_Blaine: _Laugh all you like. I know it's true. And as long as I know, then it's fine.

_Kurt: _Remind me again why I'm going out with you?

_Blaine: _For my charming personality and dazzling good looks. ;)

_Kurt: _For the last time. That face is creepy. And no, I don't think that was it…

_Blaine: _Very funny, Kurt. I hope you're amused by your own wit, because I can tell you no-one else is.

_Kurt: _Au contraire, everyone thinks I'm hilarious.

_Blaine: _I don't. And that's one off everyone.

_Kurt: _Oh how you wound me. You're meant to be the one person who loves me unconditionally.

_Blaine: _Your dad?

_Kurt: _You think you're so clever.

_Blaine: _Actually, no, not that time. I was just pointing out it's your parents who love you unconditionally, not your romantic interest.

_Kurt: _Oh, my God. You're always so clinical. Romantic interest?

_Blaine: _It's not clinical! I'll have you know critics use 'romantic interest' _all the time'. _

_Kurt: _Your point being?

_Blaine: _Trust me. It's not clinical.

_Kurt: _Trust me. It is.

_Kurt: _Please will you go with me to LLF?

_Blaine: _Wait. Why are you even asking me?

_Kurt: _Because I'm allowed a +1.

_Blaine: _That makes no sense. If you're allowed a +1, why doesn't Finn just invite Rachel?

_Kurt: _Oh, are you not caught up yet?

_Blaine: _Have they seriously broken up again?

_Kurt: _Oh yes.

_Blaine: _Who initiated it this time?

_Kurt: _Ummm… Rachel, I think. I don't really pay attention anymore.

_Blaine: _I don't blame you. Just put them back in Finn's room. If he moves them back, just keep moving them until he gets the message.

_Kurt: _You're a scheming little one, aren't you?

_Blaine: _ I try. All for you, my darling. :)

_Kurt: _I am aware. But it doesn't stop you from being scheming.

_Blaine: _Nope. Now I come to think about it, no it doesn't.

_Blaine: _Just do it. How bad can it be?

_Blaine: _And besides, you shouldn't really be going. You never even met the man – why should you go to something that commemorates the man?

_Kurt: _You're something else. Who else writes commemorates in texts?

_Blaine:_ You just did.

_Kurt: _I meant willingly.

_Blaine: _Ah yes.

_Blaine: _Go! Fly like the wind! Put the LLF in its rightful place in your family!

_Kurt: _Oh, my God. You are the strangest person I've ever met. I can't believe I'm going out with you.

_Blaine: _And yet you are.

_Blaine: _Go! LLF! LLF!

_Kurt: _I'm going, I'm going. Good day, Blaine.

_Blaine: _Good day, Kurt.

**A/N: :) **

**Prompt? Review? **


	47. YouTube

**A/N: From OnceUponATime. TheEnd: **_**YouTube. **_

**This is inspired by someone in my class who is actually **_**obsessed **_**with YT. :) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Blaine: _You could do me a favour.

_Blaine: _If you wanted to.

_Blaine: _Which I'm sure you do.

_Blaine: _Because you love me so much.

_Kurt: _What are you angling for here?

_Blaine: _Me? Angle for something? Never.

_Kurt: _Always.

_Blaine: _Very rude. I take great offense at that, actually.

_Kurt: _Do you think I really care?

_Blaine: _I should hope so. It'd be a bad state of affairs if you didn't and we'd have some massive problems that we needed to address as well.

_Blaine: _Immediately.

_Kurt: _What do you want?

_Blaine: _I'm glad you asked. Go onto YouTube.

_Kurt: _Why?

_Blaine: _Just because.

_Blaine: _Well I want you to watch something.

_Kurt: _Yeah. I'd gathered that much.

_Blaine: _It's funny and I think you'll enjoy it.

_Blaine: _But you might have already seen it already. That's the thing with viral videos.

_Kurt: _The odds are I haven't.

_Blaine: _And why not?

_Kurt: _I haven't really watched viral videos in a while.

_Blaine: _Apart from the grape stomping one.

_Kurt: _Yeah, well. That's always funny.

_Blaine: _You do realise that you have the weirdest sense of humour of anyone I know, don't you?

_Kurt: _Well look who's talking.

_Blaine: _My sense of humour is perfectly sound, thank you very much.

_Kurt: _If you keep saying that to yourself, maybe eventually it'll come true.

_Blaine: _You're so mean to me, did you know that?

_Kurt: _I did, actually. Thanks for pointing it out.

_Blaine: _You know how much I don't like you?

_Kurt: _From the tone of that, I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess not very much.

_Kurt: _Why are you still going out with me then?

_Blaine: _Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

_Blaine: _And because somehow I love you.

_Kurt: _:P

_Kurt: _:)

_Blaine: _What is this? Have I dissolved the great Kurt Hummel into smiley faces?

_Kurt: _Nope. Not in the slightest. I just couldn't be bothered to type out a full coherent response.

_Blaine: _How you wound me. How it burns. :(

_Kurt: _Stop whining. What were you going to ask again?

_Blaine: _Oh, yes. YouTube. :)

_Kurt: _It's not grape stomping by any chance, is it?

_Blaine: _No. And you need to stop watching that. I think you're slightly addicted.

_Kurt: _I am not addicted. It reminds me of my childhood.

_Blaine: _How? How in the name of all things holy does it remind you of your childhood?

_Kurt: _First YouTube video I ever watched. Also what occupied me the first time I realised that if I ignored Mr. Schue he wouldn't really care at all.

_Blaine: _Yeah… No offense, but your director is really weird.

_Kurt: _I know. But how don't you have a director? Surely preps are even more uptight about the whole staff member supervising than public schools are? (**1**)

_Blaine: _You'd think so. But apparently they trust a panel of three upperclassmen. They're trustworthy.

_Kurt: _Wes is not trustworthy. He is about the one person in that year who is as far from trustworthy as you can get.

_Blaine: _I know. But that's just how the cookie crumbled. Anyway.

_Blaine: _YouTube! Apart from grape stomping. I'll send you a complete list on Skype later of all the ones you have to watch.

_Kurt: _Why, exactly, Blaine?

_Blaine: _Because today is a day of cultural enrichment.

_Kurt: _Really? Since when?

_Blaine: _Since I said it was this morning. And then proceeded to text you about YouTube.

_Kurt: _Grape stomping is fine. Really.

_Blaine: _See, you may think that. But that just proves that you are not culturally enriched enough. The truly culturally enriched understand that they have not experienced all that they can experience to raise them to a higher being.

_Kurt: _Have you been doing your Philosophy homework, by any chance?

_Blaine: _No. Of course not. This is not a consequence of homework, but of enriching myself through literature and reading.

_Kurt: _Of a Philosophy textbook?

_Blaine: _No. For the last time, Kurt, my Philosophy course has no place in this discussion.

_Kurt: _This is not a discussion. Or even an argument, of any sorts. It is a contradiction.

_Blaine: _Now who sounds like a textbook?

_Kurt: _I never said you sounded like a textbook. I said you sounded like you'd been doing homework and _answering _textbook questions. There is a definite difference in that.

_Blaine: _A subtle one.

_Kurt: _But still definite.

_Blaine: _I do believe this is the most intellectual text conversation we've ever had.

_Kurt: _Yes it is. And you can send me the list of 'recommended videos' if you really want to.

_Blaine: _Yessss.

_Kurt: _But I won't watch them.

_Blaine: _Kurt Hummel, that is just mean.

_Kurt: _Think about it. Do you really think that I'll care?

_Blaine: _Well, no, not necessarily…

_Kurt: _There you go.

_Blaine: _But you should still watch it.

_Kurt: _I'm still not going to.

_Blaine: _You're mean. You're very very mean.

_Kurt: _I know. Poor little Blainers.

_Blaine: _:P

_Blaine: _I'm going to go now. I've had enough of this abuse at your hands.

_Kurt: _I'm not forcing you to stay and talk to me. You're staying of your own accord.

_Blaine: _You're very mean.

* * *

><p><em>Blaine: <em>Did you read the list? Did you did you did you?

_Kurt:_ Blaine. What is wrong with Skype?

_Blaine: _Nothing. I just like using my phone.

_Kurt: _What exactly is wrong with your computer?

_Blaine: _My phone's shinier. That's all.

_Kurt: _You are such a child. You never grew up. I swear.

_Blaine: _No, I didn't. But that doesn't matter, because you don't care in the slightest!

_Kurt: _How do you know that? I might care.

_Blaine: _You don't.

_Kurt: _You're mean.

_Blaine: _Go watch! Enjoy! Don't you dare go anywhere near that grape stomping one.

**A/N: OK. This is pure crack. I swear. **

**Anyway. :) **

**(1) This is the deal at my (private) school. No clubs can be set up without at least one teacher or VI former overseeing, and absolutely not without being checked by our headmistress first. It's mad. **

**Also, I have no idea when this story is set. I have a feeling it's in permanent limbo in S2. XD **

**Review & prompt? **

**Imogen xx **


	48. Cheerleading

**A/N: Whoops? I may have slightly forgotten about this? Sorry for the fortnight delay. But it's here now. I'll go work on the next queued chapter, shall I? Enjoy. **

**From OnceUponATime. TheEnd: **_**Cheerleading **_

**Heh. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _I like your friends.

_Blaine: _I like them a lot.

_Blaine: _They're a very kind group of people.

_Blaine: _So considerate of everyone else.

_Blaine: _And their feelings.

_Blaine: _And their possible… wants. Needs. Whatever you want to call it.

_Kurt: _We are talking about the same group of people, right? Because the friends I know… they're generally not what an acquaintance of the New Directions would describe as kind, considerate and whatever else the hell you decide to call them.

_Blaine: _Well they have kindly forwarded on some footage that I needed to see.

_Kurt: _Footage like you sent me on Skype last week footage?

_Blaine: _Well it was hosted on the same website, if that's what you mean.

_Kurt: _Was it things like the Circus Afro?

_Blaine: _it did have music.

_Kurt: _Mmm hmm?

_Blaine: _Madonna music, to be precise.

_Kurt: _Oh no.

_Kurt: _Please tell me they didn't.

_Blaine: _They didn't.

_Kurt: _Blaine!

_Blaine: _I told you. Just like you asked me to. And they did really.

_Kurt: _This is not good. This is really really not good.

_Blaine: _Why not?

_Blaine: _They really were fascinating videos.

_Kurt: _I'm sure they were.

_Kurt: _Wait. Which ones did they actually send to you?

_Blaine: _All the filmed performances, whether or not your fellow Glee clubbers were present.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but she filmed all the performances. Something to go along with her trophies or something. I don't know. So you saw all of them?

_Blaine: _Apparently so. I had no control over it.

_Kurt: _I think you did really. You chose to watch the first video, didn't you?

_Blaine: _Yes, and it was then that I lost complete control.

_Kurt: _You still had control over the movements of the mouse, so you didn't lose complete control.

_Blaine: _Ah. Now you may think so, but actually my emotions took over and I didn't have control over the mouse.

_Kurt: _That may be your subconscious, but technically you are still controlling the mouse. So my point still stands.

_Kurt: _But all this is hardly the crux of the matter.

_Blaine: _It is?

_Kurt: _Yes. Why did you watch the cheerleading things? They're completely embarrassing.

_Blaine: _On the contrary, my dear, I don't think they're embarrassing in the slightest.

_Kurt: _I know you don't, but they feature me, so my opinion is actually more important regarding them, and I know that they're embarrassing.

_Kurt: _Following that logic, they are.

_Blaine: _You don't apply that logic to me.

_Kurt: _Nope. I don't.

_Blaine: _You're a very mean person, Kurt Hummel. Very mean indeed.

_Kurt: _I am aware.

_Blaine: _If you're aware, why are you still doing it? After all, you should want to make me happy.

_Kurt: _I do.

_Blaine: _And this isn't. I think you should allow me full access to your cheerleading videos 24/7.

_Kurt: _And you should, in turn, want to make me happy.

_Blaine: _And I do.

_Kurt: _And I want to bar the videos from you at all costs.

_Blaine: _But that would be unfair on both of us.

_Blaine: _You know, you could make it work to your advantage.

_Blaine: _What with me loving these videos and all. If you know what I mean.

_Kurt: _You find it really hard to mask innuendos, don't you?

_Blaine: _If I masked it too well, you wouldn't catch on. And then the point of the innuendo would be lost, because you wouldn't have picked it up.

_Blaine: _The trick is maintaining a fine balance between comprehension and concealment.

_Kurt: _Isn't it agony typing those words out on your phone?

_Blaine: _No. Why should it be?

_Kurt: _Well, because they're really long.

_Blaine: _Ah. And here is the crucial difference between Androids and iPhones, and what fundamentally puts the Android on a higher level than the iPhone.

_Kurt: _We have been through this. Your phone is not better than mine.

_Blaine: _It is. The interfaces are named after food. _Food_, Kurt. That already puts it ahead of the iPhone. Also the autocorrect is intelligent and lets me type long words with ease and predicts sensible suggestions. Which, as proved previously, the iPhone most certainly does not do.

_Kurt: _You're so mean about my phone.

_Blaine: _I really don't know why you're taking personal offense at this.

_Kurt: _I don't know why you're defending your own phone so passionately. It's just a phone. It's not even your own company.

_Blaine: _Also now you know how it feels to have your soulmate mean about something that you really really like.

_Kurt: _We'll address the soulmate thing later – but it's different! A phone and my modesty and whatever the hell else is at stake when you have access to the videos.

_Blaine: _Do you not trust me? Is that the problem?

_Kurt: _What? Of course I do.

_Blaine: _And you really think I'll release them and put you in danger?

_Kurt: _No, of course not! It's just… never mind.

_Blaine: _So I _can _have them?

_Kurt: _Yes, fine. I'll give you the memory stick tomorrow.

_Blaine: _Really? Really truly really?

_Kurt: _Yes, Blaine. I already said yes.

_Blaine: _Oh, my God Kurt. You are the best. You are actually the best person ever in the whole world. I love you I love you I love you so much.

_Kurt: _Yeah. I'm sure you do.

_Blaine: _I do I do I do I do I do I do.

_Kurt: _You're a manipulative person, did you know that?

_Blaine: _Kthxbai.

**A/N: :) **

**Review & prompt? **

**Imogen xx **


	49. Hangover

**A/N: From janie17: **_**How about doing a follow-up hungover!Kurt where Blaine makes fun of him or something?**_

**Ummm, whoops? I know I haven't replied to any reviews, and I will get on that after posting this - answering any questions, otherwise I won't because there's no point giving you all a preview to this when it's already all here. :)  
>Hopefully regular service will return soon. Possibly when school resumes. <strong>

**This was from Chapter 32. Apologies if you can't remember back that long. Go read it again (Drunk) if you can't. :D I don't blame you. I wouldn't be able to. So let's just pretend that this comes immediately after Ch 32.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt. Do you remember last night at all?

_Kurt: _No. But I can read.

_Blaine: _You can, can't you?

_Kurt: _Yes. Yes I can – and it's absolutely mortifying.

_Blaine: _Why is it mortifying? It shouldn't be.

_Kurt: _I texted you. Drunk. One of the things that I swore that I wouldn't do. Anything to do with my phone while I was drunk.

_Blaine: _Unfortunately, darling, that hasn't happened. Because you were drunk texting me last night.

_Blaine: _And it was all kinds of hilarious.

_Blaine: _For me.

_Blaine: _I am able to see how it might not be the best of experiences to think back on for you.

_Kurt: _If you'd drunk texted me, you'd be embarrassed as well.

_Blaine: _The thing is, I don't think I would be. I've been drunk quite a bit and done a few embarrassing things. Drunk texting is definitely not the worst of those.

_Kurt: _Blaine. You're _seventeen_. You still have four years until drinking is actually legal for you. How could you already have more embarrassing experiences with alcohol than drunk texting your boyfriend?

_Blaine: _Not that I'm telling you what they are, but just trust me on this. They are in a completely different league of embarrassing than yours are.

_Kurt: _I really don't see how that's possible.

_Blaine: _I know you don't. You don't have to, just trust me that they are.

_Kurt: _You keep saying that, but the only way I could possibly trust you on this front is if you give me an example.

_Blaine: _Ah ah. I know you, Kurt.

_Kurt: _I should hope so. Because then we'd have a problem.

_Blaine: _And this is just a ploy.

_Kurt: _Me? Ploy? What is this madness?

_Blaine: _Oh yes. This is a ploy to get me to tell you one of my embarrassing stories.

_Kurt: _That would be ludicrous.

_Blaine: _It is a ploy. And I can see through you. You want me to tell you something embarrassing about myself, to give yourself handy blackmail material to store away in case of an emergency.

_Kurt: _You think so highly of me.

_Blaine: _Can you blame me?

_Kurt: _Yes. Because all you're spouting are inaccuracies and false accusations and they are very hurtful Blaine, very _hurtful_.

_Blaine: _I'm still alive. I still have a boyfriend. I'm good.

_Kurt: _Such a selfish boy that I'm going out with.

_Blaine: _You're calling me selfish? You just tried to extort me for blackmail material.

_Kurt: _That is a lie and you know it.

_Blaine: _It is the truth and you know it.

_Kurt: _Such lies. Such wounds you deliver herein.

_Blaine: _Have you been reading Shakespeare?

_Kurt: _Only for my homework.

_Blaine: _But you're still channelling him.

_Kurt: _So what if I am? You're still a mean person who refuses to give me anything. :(

_Blaine: _And you are making a big deal out of nothing. It really isn't as bad as you're making it sound.

_Kurt: _But you made it sound that bad.

_Blaine: _I'm sure I didn't.

_Kurt: _I know you did.

_Blaine: _This is going nowhere.

_Kurt: _No it isn't.

_Kurt_: And I still think you should tell me. It would be the only nice thing to do in this situation.

_Kurt: _And I may be appeased and let it go forever.

_Blaine: _But you'd still have that information to draw upon as you saw fit.

_Kurt: _And this conversation would be over – which I know is what you're clamouring for.

_Blaine: _I wouldn't call it _clamouring_, per se…

_Kurt: _No, don't lie. We both know you're clamouring. :)

_Blaine: _You're a mean, mean person. Did you know that?

_Kurt: _I do believe you have made that opinion quite clear to me over the months.

_Blaine: _You can't wait to say years, can you?

_Kurt: _Nope.

_Blaine: _Your priorities are all wrong.

_Kurt: _Actually, I think you'll find they're all right.

_Blaine: _No. No they're not.

_Kurt: _Yes they are.

_Blaine: _I refuse to go in this circle with you. It will go on forever.

_Kurt: _As you wish.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt: <em>Tell me, Blaine. Tell me tell me tell me.

_Blaine: _Why do you even want to know in the first place?

_Blaine: _Oh wait. That. I thought you were talking about something else.

_Kurt: _Your adult sister.

_Blaine: _Yeah. No. I'm not telling you one thing embarrassing that I have done under the influence.

_Kurt: _Do you have a DUI on your record?

_Blaine: _No! Of course not! I'm not an idiot.

_Kurt: _I know. What was itttttt?

_Blaine: _I'm not say-_ing_.

_Kurt: _Yes you are. You are going to tell me eventually. Even if it's when we're on our deathbeds, you're going to tell me.

_Blaine: _You're not going to remember when we're on our deathbeds. And awwww – you want to spend the rest of your life with me?

_Kurt: _Not the time, Blaine. But please just tell me. And all this angst will just go away. You can continue with your life merrily.

_Blaine: _Until you find something else to seize upon, which you will.

_Kurt: _Exactly.

_Blaine: _Fine. Fine fine fine. Once, I did serenade Wes over karaoke with Celine Dion.

_Blaine: _Say nothing.

_Kurt: _My fingers did not move an inch.

_Kurt: _Well maybe a little.

**A/N: Yay. Done. :) Wow, I got this prompt such a long time ago. **

**Review & prompt? **

**Imogen xx **


	50. Puns

**A/N: From TheShrimpyGleek: **_**The chapter must involve: Peanut butter, angry!Kurt, a bad pun, and a giraffe. **_

**Apologies for the months-late chapter. I'm in Y11 in the British educative system, which is where we do GCSEs, which essentially help determine your A-Level (higher exams) choices... so it's a big deal.  
>Anyway, enough about me. Continue with the madness. <strong>

**So this was eclectic. I think my angry!Kurt was more exasperated, but never mind. **

**NB: Anything in the following chapter does not reflect my personal views, but rather what I think the characters' opinions are. So please do not hold me to anything within. **

**You'll see why this is important in about 200 words. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _Kurt! Kurt! I need to tell you something!

_Blaine:_ It's very funny.

_Blaine: _I bet you'd like it.

_Blaine: _Scratch that, I know you'd like it.

_Blaine: _I'm gonna send it over now, kay?

_Blaine: _What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?

_Blaine: _Guess guess guess.

_Blaine: _I don't think you're here so I'm going to tell you anyway.

_Blaine: _Because this is really exciting.

_Blaine: _Peanut butter!

_Kurt: _That is the worst joke I have ever heard from you.

_Kurt:_ To date.

_Kurt: _And that's impressive. Because I really did think the one about the tiger and giraffe couldn't be topped.

_Blaine: _That was a good joke, wasn't it?

_Kurt: _It was completely _vulgar_, Blaine.

_Blaine: _It was still funny.

_Kurt: _I am aware that some people, such as you, find vulgar jokes funny, but I don't. And this pun really does take the biscuit.

_Blaine: _That is a British phrase.

_Blaine: _Why are you speaking in British?

_Kurt: _It's English, same as we speak here.

_Blaine: _But they have weird words.

_Kurt: _I think you'll find that it's us that changed the language. It is English. You know, the language of England? If it was our language, we would be speaking American.

_Blaine: _But they have weird words.

_Kurt: _No. We changed their language around the revolution – I think. I never really paid that much attention in history. Anyway.

_Kurt: _England is superior.

_Blaine: _You're American. You're going to move to New York.

_Kurt: _Yes, and England is superior.

_Blaine: _Why aren't you going to England then?

_Kurt: _Because it takes nearly 8 hours on a plane! To New York, it's 5 hours in a plane. There is no competition. That's an entire three hours saved - in other terms, time for an entire Broadway performance.

_Blaine: _But surely if England is the preferred country… Your logic makes no sense Kurt.

_Kurt: _My logic makes perfect sense. Now shut up and accept my superiority.

_Blaine: _Wait, what? No! I'm not going to do that. Equals, remember?

_Kurt: _If that helps you to sleep at night.

_Blaine: _You're being really strange today.

_Kurt: _Oh, am I?

_Kurt: _You're being strange.

_Blaine: _Case in point.

_Kurt: _Why are you being like this?

_Blaine: _Like what? You're the one being like something.

_Kurt: _I am not being like something. You're just delusional.

_Blaine: _I resent being called delusional.

_Kurt: _See? You're using long words.

_Blaine: _Yes…? There isn't a ban on using long words you know.

_Kurt: _Yes, I know. I'm not an idiot.

_Blaine: _How exactly did the conversation wind up here?

_Kurt: _Your bad punning, I believe.

_Blaine: _I take personal offense at that. My punning is brilliant.

_Kurt: _Your punning is mediocre at best.

_Blaine: _You're so mean to me.

_Kurt: _You're mean to _me_.

_Blaine: _I am a complete gentleman to you.

_Kurt: _Modest, too.

_Blaine: _When have I ever not been?

_Kurt: _Modest or a gentleman?

_Blaine: _A gentleman, Kurt. Stop procrastinating.

_Kurt: _Fair enough. You are – maybe too much at times – a complete gentleman.

_Blaine: _Rude.

_Kurt: _Have you been watching Miranda again?

_Blaine: _Mebbe.

**A/N: I know this isn't **_**anywhere **_**near 1k, which is the general target I set myself to aim for per chapter, but adding other stuff would be forced, which is the last thing I want to do for this story. **

**Review & prompt? **

**Imogen x **


	51. Party

**A/N: From D.H. Spy: **_**Blaine has been forced/made to go to a family party, that he doesn't want to go to. So he texts Kurt with the goings on and his boredom. Like he could text Kurt after talking to a great aunt or something who asks him whether or not he has a girlfriend, to which he doesn't know how to reply. :D **_

**Hiya! I'm writing all sorts of things for you lately. :) I gather you enjoyed Excerpts, yes? Anyway, on with all of this. You probably don't even remember prompting that, to be honest, it was so long ago. **

**Also, Glee 4x14. lakdjflkajsdlfkjdasf. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Blaine: _Hi Kurt.

_Blaine: _I really like you, Kurt.

_Blaine: _Like, a lot, Kurt.

_Blaine: _There isn't even any champagne here.

_Blaine: _Like, what party doesn't serve champagne?

_Blaine: _So what if every one of my aunts seems to have about three toddlers each?

_Blaine: _PARTIES NEED CHAMPAGNE.

_Kurt: _You're very adamant about that. Something you wish to share?

_Blaine: _Not in the slightest. I just think it's unfair depriving us of our rights not serving champagne at a party.

_Kurt: _In which part of the UN's Declaration of Human Rights does it say that you have the right to be served champagne at a party? Or even, that you have the right to be invited to parties?

_Blaine: _It's an amendment that needs to be made sooner rather than later.

_Kurt: _Yeah, I thought so too.

_Blaine: _Shhh. You're mean to me.

_Kurt: _That's highly doubtful.

_Blaine: _Actually, it is true. I did a poll, and everyone agreed with me.

_Kurt: _Who of? The animals in the pet shop? They all agree with you, Blaine, we've been over this. You always have food. They're animals. They follow primal needs of food, water, shelter and carnalities in certain species.

_Blaine: _The animals like me! You obviously don't.

_Kurt: _When did I ever say that? Anyway, isn't it really bad form to be texting while you're at a party?

_Blaine: _None of them here like me anyway, so it doesn't matter.

_Kurt: _You like children. I thought you said there were loads of toddlers running about?

_Blaine: _They're mean. I don't like them.

_Kurt: _Oh, God. What did they do now?

_Blaine: _Nothing. You'll say it's stupid.

_Kurt: _That's probably because you're acting like one of those children.

_Blaine: _I am not! You're so mean to me. Like them.

_Kurt: _Case in point.

_Blaine: _I am not being a child! I am just being reasonable.

_Kurt: _There are lots of things that you are being, Blaine, and let me the first to assure you that reasonable is at the bottom of the list.

_Blaine: _Why are you so mean to me? You never were before.

_Kurt:_ Anywaaaay. This isn't the task in hand. The task in hand is the fact you are texting me when you are meant to be enjoying yourself at a party.

_Blaine: _But it's horrible!

_Blaine: _The children keep kicking me and then run away, cackling.

_Blaine: _The adults look at me condescendingly.

_Kurt: _I'm sure the children aren't cackling.

_Blaine: _I'm pretty sure my dad told Great-Aunt Winnie that I'm gay too. But she hasn't stopped glaring at me.

_Blaine: _I might have elbowed her at some point.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _And the children ARE cackling. You haven't heard them! They sound like trainee warlocks.

_Kurt: _Blaine.

_Blaine: _They're sent from Satan. I don't understand who takes their mini-Satans to a party.

_Blaine: _Or, actually, who has one mini-Satan and then decides it would be a good idea to have two more. Isn't one enough?

_Blaine: _Isn't one enough, Kurt?

_Kurt: _OK, I know there's no champagne, but you may want to lay off the punch. It's been spiked.

_Blaine: _The punch has not been spiked. Who would spike it – there's no-one that irresponsible here.

_Blaine: _Apart from the mini-Satans. Though, I wouldn't put it past them.

_Blaine: _If they could reach the table.

_Blaine: _THEY'VE GOT A STOOL NOW.

_Blaine: _THEY'VE GOT A STOOL IT'S ALL GOING HORRIBLY WRONG MY PHONE IS CRYING

_Blaine: _They're throwing food at me and cackling and it's awful and come save me Kurt please Kurt please I will pay you Kurt Kurt Kurt help. :(

_Kurt: _Calm down Blaine. They're young children. They're probably able to sense your fear and they're using it to play. They don't understand what else to do with it.

_Blaine: _When did you become such a guru on children?

_Kurt: _When I started babysitting my younger cousins. Calm down and play with them. Anyway, isn't Cooper there? Mingle. Stop talking to me.

_Blaine: _No, he had this stupid ad to shoot.

_Kurt: _I know this may be a surprise to your darling pure heart, but there is such a thing as lying. Cooper has discovered it, and he has employed it to his advantage.

_Blaine: _Yes, but Cooper lives in LA where his parents can't moderate his every move, doesn't he.

_Kurt: _Yes, I know, but I did offer. I was more than willing to cover for you.

_Blaine: _And I was not willing at all to let you take my father's wrath for me.

_Kurt: _Well there you have it. Nothing I can do about that predicament. Enjoy the children.

_Blaine: _What? No! Where are you going?

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Kurt?

_Blaine: _Kurt, come back.

_Blaine: _Please Kurt. I need you like the air I breathe.

_Blaine: _Not in the clichéd form. As in I actually will die if you don't come back and save me from this unending torture.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Blaine: _Kurt.

_Blaine: _Please Kurt please.

XxXxX

_Kurt: _Oh, my God, Blaine. It is not that hard. Just fake an illness or something.

_Blaine: _But childrennnnnnnnn.

_Kurt: _They are children, not mini-Satans. Get over it. It's not that bad.

_Blaine: _Oh look they like me now. Awww she's cute. She just gave me a hug.

_Kurt: _See? All you have to do is be nice.

_Blaine: _Yes, Kurt. You know all.

_Kurt: _Yes. Yes I do.

**A/N: I have nothing to say, I don't think. Hit me up if you want to squeal/rant/whatever about anything Glee-related. **

**To CamWarbler, who was a guest and so I could not reply to privately: Thanks for your prompt! Unfortunately (and you may not have gotten to that point yet, I know your review was on Ch3) I did so many stealing prompts that I had a cut off and now am not doing any more stealing ones. But thank you, it really is appreciated! **

**Review & prompt? **

**Imogen x **


	52. Cooper

**A/N: From ColdHeartSnake: **_**I would love to see a chapter about Blaine telling Kurt about Cooper, because Cooper is home, visiting. **_

**This should be fun. I apologise for anything that's about to come up. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

_Blaine: _Help me. Kurt, please, I'm begging you.

_Blaine: _He's reading Sylvia Plath.

_Blaine: _Cooper is reading Sylvia Plath out loud to get me talking to him.

_Blaine: _And it is depressing the hell out of me. Please help.

_Kurt: _Well, he's got a point.

_Blaine: _Kurt!

_Blaine: _That was the wrong thing to say. Why, Kurt? Why?

_Kurt: _He lives in LA, yes?

_Blaine: _Yes…

_Kurt: _And you live on the other side of the country, in Ohio.

_Blaine: _Your point being?

_Kurt: _You don't see him very much. You should be spending time with him, not with your phone that's with you always.

_Blaine: _But he's being crude! And I don't want to spend time with him while he's like this!

_Kurt: _Like what?

_Blaine: _Annoying. He's just being really really annoying.

_Kurt: _You're really really annoying lots of times, and I don't text someone else complaining about you.

_Blaine: _But that's because I'm not afraid to tug the phone out of your hand and kiss you senseless. Cooper, as my brother, will not do that.

_Kurt: _Blaine. Your brother is obviously not going to make out with you.

_Blaine: _Not that. Obviously he won't do that. He rarely sees me, so he's a little cautious around me and so won't pull my phone away from me.

_Kurt: _He might be a bit nervous around you, then. Why don't you just talk to him, and not to me, for a bit? You never know – you might enjoy it. You might reconnect. Anything could happen.

_Blaine: _I doubt it.

_Kurt: _Blaine. Just do it.

_Blaine: _But I don't wanna.

_Kurt: _Stop acting like a petulant child and man up.

_Blaine: _Mean.

_Kurt: _Deal with it. I can get a lot meaner if I want to. I'm not afraid of you.

_Blaine: _Yes. I'm well aware of that fact.

_Kurt: _So just talk to him.

_Blaine: _Okay, I will.

_Kurt: _Good boy.

* * *

><p><em>Blaine: <em>Kurt help help me please.

_Blaine: _Kurt he's stripping I don't know what to do.

_Kurt: _Appreciate it?

_Blaine: _KURT.

_Kurt: _What? Your brother's hot.

_Blaine: _Great. I'll let him know that you're objectifying him.

_Kurt: _That was not objectification!

_Blaine: _Don't lie, Kurt. We both know what you're thinking.

_Kurt: _Fine. If it makes you feel any better, I objectify you mentally too.

_Blaine: _It doesn't really, although I am flattered.

_Kurt: _Good. But I still would like a photo.

_Blaine: _Kurt. I am not taking a photo of my half naked brother for you, when you're dating me.

_Kurt: _Not seeing the connection.

_Blaine: _We come from the same gene pool, Kurt. I am more than willing to strip for you.

_Kurt: _Yeah, but…

_Kurt: _You do know that I'm joking, right?

_Kurt: _Blaine?

_Kurt: _You're infinitely hotter, you do know?

_Blaine: _Yes, I know.

_Kurt: _OK, good. I'm really sorry if… I can get excited sometimes.

_Blaine: _Kurt, calm down. It doesn't matter. I really don't care.

_Kurt: _I don't know that. Sometimes you really do and sometimes you couldn't care less.

_Blaine: _I'm aware. Sorry for being high maintenance.

_Kurt: _Please, darling. If we're having a high maintenance competition, I win on all fronts.

_Blaine: _Do you?

_Kurt: _Yes. Do not argue with me on this.

_Blaine: _OK. Kurt Cooper's trying to teach me how to act again.

_Blaine: _He tends to do that a lot. I guess it's some weird protective older brother thing that he has.

_Blaine: _It doesn't really make that much sense, though.

_Kurt: _How is that a protective older brother thing?

_Blaine: _I don't know. Everything that he does is governed by that, though.

_Kurt: _Really?

_Blaine: _Yes.

_Blaine: _Trust me.

_Blaine: _Really.

_Kurt: _OK. I trust you. I trust your judgement.

_Blaine: _As you should.

_Kurt: _Though the patronising could be greatly reduced.

_Blaine: _Whoops. Sorry. Cooper tends to bring out a patronising side in me. :(

_Kurt: _It's fine. I'd still like a picture of Cooper though.

_Kurt: _Or you. Either goes.

_Blaine: _You're not going to get – in the foreseeable future – a naked picture of Cooper. I'm not sexting via my brother. Do you realise how weird that is?

_Kurt: _I don't care how weird it is. It's Cooper Anderson – anything goes.

_Blaine: _Oh my God. Why am I even going out with you again?

_Kurt: _Because you love me and I'm forever the light of your life?

_Blaine: _That's one way of putting it, certainly.

* * *

><p><em>Blaine: <em>The time is 9:38 pm, Cooper has gone to bed and there is peace at last.

_Kurt: _Peace at last? Isn't that a little overdramatic, even for you?

_Blaine: _Nope. You wouldn't think that, not if you'd been here today.

_Blaine: _You wouldn't.

_Kurt: _Well I wasn't, because you and your brother were reconciling, and I had no place in that. So I guess I'll just have to trust you on that one.

_Blaine: _I guess you will.

_Kurt: _Except that you're prone to exaggeration.

_Blaine: _Me? Prone to exaggeration? I think not?

_Kurt: _I have seen it plenty of times. It's true.

_Blaine: _Such insults from the one sworn to love me unconditionally. It's truly hurtful, let me tell you.

_Kurt: _Is it? Look at how much I truly care about that.

_Blaine: _Ooooooh. Someone's feeling catty today.

_Kurt: _No more, no less than I usually am.

_Blaine: _:(

_Kurt: _Don't do that. It really doesn't work on me.

_Blaine: _But the puppy eyes do.

_Blaine: _[image attached]

_Kurt: _You can send me all the sad eyes you like, I won't be swayed.

_Blaine: _Swayed by what? What could there be to sway you?

_Kurt: _Nothing, I'm sure. It's late, Blaine, and you said Cooper had already gone to bed.

_Kurt: _ I think you should go to sleep.

_Blaine: _I think you're becoming unnecessarily bossy.

_Kurt: _Bye, Blaine.

**A/N: I'm very sorry for the delay. I've finally finished all of my public exams now (yay!) so when I get back there will be plenty of free time, and hopefully I'll be writing in some of it. **

**:D **

**Imogen xx **


End file.
